Striptease Page #4

Is it a bad time now?

No, just a second.

I was rehearsing.

Morning.

I was nearby.

I probably should've call--

No, no, it's fine.

Please come on in.

Thank you.

Can I get you some coffee

or English muffin?

No, no, thanks.

You know, I was thinking. . .

. . .and if I had to guess,

I would say. . .

. . .that Jerry was probably there

because he was there most nights.

So do you know anything new?

Actually, I have some good news. . .

. . .and I have some mediocre news.

The good news is Darrell

lost his informant status.

Vice thought his information

was bogus anyway.

This is great! Now in six weeks,

I can go to the judge--

That's the mediocre part.

Judge Fingerhut had a heart attack

early this morning. . .

. . .at a porno theater on Ocean.

-Don't tell me that!

-He was DOA. . .

. . .at Don Shula Hospital.

Anyway, I called around,

and the earliest. . . .

It'll be six months

before your appeal's heard.

The system is all backed up.

I can't allow her to stay

with him for another six months!

There's nothing you can do

from a legal standpoint.

Absolutely nothing.

I understand.

Is today Friday?

Yeah, it's Friday.

I gotta run now.

-How are you?

-All right.

You're wonderful, Mr. Dilbeck!

Shalom, darlin' .

Shalom to you.

Manischewitz!

Congressman.

Alan Mordecai.

-Alan, how you been?

-Fine, sir.

Congressman, I brought

a little souvenir for you.

Obviously, the ramifications of that,

if it were to become public--

-Is this me?

-Yes, I'm afraid so.

If this became public,

it would be devastating. . .

. . .and I'd like to avoid that.

It's her.

It's my angel.

Heel! Slow down!

Heel, will you?

Are you going to your house, Mama?

No, we're going to our house.

For the whole day?

Even better.

Really?

Really.

You snatched me, didn't you?

I guess I did.

You sure did.

Come on, pumpkin.

Zippity-doo-dah.

I didn't know she had a child.

Of course you--

She's divorced, but the husband

has custody. Remember?

She's carrying numerous bags.

That doesn't look like just

a visitation, does it, Erb?

I'll look into it.

Check custody status

of Ms. Erin Grant.

God, give me strength.

What an extraordinary creature.

How perfect in every detail.

Davey, you promised you'd behave

until after the election.

You don't understand.

This is love.

Please.

I won't campaign. . .

. . .until I can possess. . .

. . .her actual velvet self.

In the meantime, I want you

to bring me something.

Something of hers.

Something. . .

. . .personal to tide me over.

How personal?

Intensely personal.

Am I a good help?

Honey, you are the best

laundry assistant I've ever had.

All right, let's hit the road, Jack.

Who's Jack?

It's just an expression.

Come on.

This is some picture.

It's fatal.

I don't accede to blackmail.

Willie, I agree with you

in principle. . .

. . .but this gets out,

we're in a bigtime shitstorm.

Pop, pay the guy off.

You got a cancer,

you talk nice to it?

-No. You cut it out.

-Willie.

We can't operate like

we're in the funeral business.

I'd rather buy cops than

pay blackmail. Understood?

I just think we should

consider other options.

Understood?

What else?

A connected matter.

Davey wants this stripper,

and I'd like to use the boat.

That way, we can control

the situation.

-She's the girl from the picture?

-That's correct.

-What does she know?

-Well, we gotta find out.

The good news is she got custody

illegally, so she's vulnerable.

Vulnerable isn't good enough.

I say let Davey have his fun.

Then lose her.

Willie, Willie.

First, let's determine

whether she can hurt us or not.

I'm sure she's just

another dumb whore.

For her sake, I hope so.

Phooey! I go back three.

-This is complicated.

-It's easy.

All right, is it your turn?

You stay here with us, sweetie.

Mama's orders.

Everybody, listen up.

This is Lorelei!

Formerly of the Flesh Farm.

She and her snake, Monty Python,

have signed an exclusive. . .

. . .contract with us.

You've got a snake?

-Monty.

-And she starts tomorrow.

So why don't we make

her feel at home. . .

. . .and give her a real

Eager Beaver welcome!

Welcome, darling.

I'm Ariel, Miss Gaza Strip.

I'm Tiffany Glass.

-How big is your snake?

-It's big.

So what brings you here?

Just what we needed, another blonde!

What the hell is that?

It just came from Ling's.

Monty sleeps with the fishes.

Lorelei has no idea, right?

No, it just got here.

It's fresh.

Go rustle up a new snake.

Where? The A & P?

Who the f*** carries pythons at 1 0:00?

There's an all-night

snake farm on Route 27.

Ask for Jungle Juan.

And get rid of that.

God, I hate this business.

You know why?

It's lost its humanity.

-Say hello to one gorgeous creature. . .

-Bring change.

. . .the unbelievable Erin Grant!

Because he believes in the family. . .

. . .in the values that made us

a God-fearing people.

Because he's long been

a friend of this organization.

Get him out of there.

Preferably with his clothes on.

David--

Oh, my God!

Tell me I'm dreaming. Please.

No, no, no!

I cannot believe this!

Davey, no!

Is this lint fresh?

Hot out of the Maytag.

You just can't imagine!

This is the very essence

of that glorious creature.

I gotta say, even for you,

Davey, this is off the charts!

Why are you shiny?

It's Vaseline.

It's Vas--

Great. It's Vaseline.

You've never covered yourself

with Vaseline?

Not unless I have third degree burns.

You don't know what you're missing.

I've got it all over.

It's down in my boots. I can feel

it squishing in between my toes.

All right, okay.

The Young Christians

are waiting so. . . .

-When will I see her?

-It's in the works.

-When?

-It's in the works!

Clean yourself up!

I did not go into politics to pimp

for a twisted old f*** like you!

I've had it, Davey.

I quit.

You are such a child.

Onward, Christian soldiers

Marching as to war

With the cross of jesus

Going on before

Christ, the royal Master

Leads against the foe

Forward into battle

See His banners go

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

You are too kind.

What a privilege for me to be here

for you good people tonight. . .

. . .and to talk about an issue

that is so critical. . .

. . .to this campaign and

to all of the American people.

I'm talking about the issue. . .

. . .of family values.

Where's Monty?

He isn't here yet.

He's on his way.

Relax.

Do me a favor and watch Angela?

I'm gonna get my car,

it's pouring out.

-Yeah, sure, gorgeous.

-Thanks.

Where have you been all night?

Doing my Christmas shopping early.

Martha Stewart recommends it.

If that's not a snake,

then it's an amazing belt.

I gotta find a new line of work.

This sh*t is getting out of hand.

Let me put this down

and walk you to your car.

I'm fine.

I'll see you tomorrow.

-Evening, everybody.

-Sh*t!

-Where's my little 'un?

-Where you can't get her.

Is that ever the wrong answer.

Bring her to me now!

I am not bringing her to you

in this lifetime.

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