Striptease Page #5

I'll go to that judge and tell him

my whore of a wife abducted--

Guess what, Darrell?

The judge is dead.

So you'll just have to kill me.

-Go on!

-Think I'm afraid to?

Think I don't have the manliness

to take your life?

I think you are all man.

That death row-lethal injection thing?

That's not gonna scare you.

They'd never execute a daddy.

Drop the knife.

You got till three. One.

Suck my dick.

Whip the little fella out. Two.

This here is a domestic squabble.

Three.

You broke my arm!

You sure?

-B*tch!

-Bully!

I'm gonna get you!

-Are you okay?

-Just had a tiff with my ex.

I know what that's like.

Did you see? Monty finally got here.

That's great, Lorelei.

Hey, baby. Say hi to Erin.

-Cute.

-Homicide.

Lieutenant Garcia.

She's a kidnapper!

Watch your head there.

The fact is he threatened,

and he did not attempt.

What if he kills me?

Can I press charges then?

The law is the law.

I'll screw around here.

If you like, I'll lose your paperwork.

He makes bail, she's his.

I should split and

take her to New England.

Understand this.

If you split without formal custody,

you'll lose her forever.

I've dealt with Family Services.

They are pencil pushers.

-This is by the book.

-I'm dealing with a maniac.

I understand.

I repeat, you can't take off.

You cannot.

You might have a bigger problem.

-I can't have a bigger problem!

-Look at this.

Any of these clowns the one

who might have assaulted Mr. Guber?

This clown.

You're positive?

Absolutely.

Who is he? He looks

like that guy on F Troop.

That's Congressman Dilbeck.

This nut is a congressman?

You haven't heard from him?

From any of his staff?

Wait.

This is who

Jerry was talking about.

Are you saying I am in danger

from a congressman?

No.

Let me know if you hear

from him though.

I think that's in both our interests.

How did I get so popular?

Hush, little baby

Don 't you cry

Mama 's gonna buy you a something

Pumpkin pie.

Oh, you're awake.

-Can Mommy put you down?

-No.

Fair enough.

-Brush your teeth.

-I'm too tired.

Okay, don't brush your teeth.

Go on to bed.

"Mr. Dilbeck requests your company

for a private dance.

You'll receive $2,000 cash

for a one-hour set.

Discretion and confidentiality

are of the utmost importance. "

Mommy, do you like dancing?

Why are you still awake?

I was just thinking.

Do you like dancing?

Not really.

-It's not fun?

-No.

You're just dancing.

Just dancing's fun, honey.

Sure, that part of the job.

What's not fun?

The customers?

Urbana said some of them

are mean and stupid.

Pumpkin, have you ever seen me dance?

Have you?

-I told the girls that--

-I came out tonight.

While I was dancing?

You looked really pretty.

No, I didn't.

Yeah, you did.

You looked great.

Thank you, baby.

Good afternoon,

ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to the

Miami Seaquarium 's Top Deck.

We are going to celebrate the oceans

and all the living things in them...

...as we proudly present to you

a splash of the islands.

Okay, now, I need all

the camp kids to come with me.

Come on. You too.

It's okay. You can go.

Go on. It's all right.

I'll be right here.

Don't worry.

She's spent so little time with kids. . . .

It'll change.

Once she's with you full-time.

I hope so.

Let me get this straight.

He offered you two grand?

To dance for one hour?

I don't know.

I can't turn it down, Al.

Now that I have Angie with me,

I've gotta find another job immediately.

Which will pay me nothing

compared to what I'm making now.

But, you know. . .

. . .she saw me last night.

Can you imagine?

Was she upset?

She said no, but come on.

One day she's gonna realize. . .

. . .and say, "That was my mother. "

How about you? You ready

to feed Flipper? Step here.

Oh, my God.

-It's safe, though, right?

-What?

With Dilbeck.

I'm bringing Shad.

I think as long as they think you

don't know anything, you'll be fine.

Keep your ears open.

What will you do with her tonight?

Urbana said that she'd--

Why don't you drop her

off at our house?

-I can't do that.

-Why not?

I told Donna everything.

Your whole situation.

She said if you needed a hand

she'd love to help.

She doesn't think I'm something

out of A Current Affair ?

Come on, you're a terrific girl.

You know that.

So you made a mistake. You married

a bum. What are you gonna do?

You gonna beat yourself up

for the rest of your life?

Well, I usually don't,

but it's. . . .

I mean, it's just that. . .

. . .you know, she saw me dancing.

It'll all work out.

I want her free and clear,

whatever it takes.

Good job, baby!

-You're Mrs. Grant?

-No, I'm Barbara Bush.

-Who is he?

-George Bush.

George Bush is not invited.

Take a hike.

Oh, no, no.

See, if he goes, I go.

Raise your hands.

I gotta pat you down.

Stop.

Right this way.

Hello, Erin.

My name is Congressman Dilbeck.

You are--

You're a beauty.

Good evening.

I'm Erin Grant.

And you must be. . . .

Convak Dilvak.

Congressman Dildo.

I am Congressman David Dilbeck.

And welcome, welcome.

You are truly, truly welcome.

Thank you.

Have we ever met before?

But actually, I have seen. . .

. . .many, many beautiful

photographs of you.

Well, I'm honored.

And a congressman.

Very successful congressman

you must be.

This is not my boat.

It belongs to a very

close friend of mine.

Do you like Dino?

Dean's great, yeah.

But you know, I've brought my own.

Do you care for The Artist

Formerly Known as Prince?

I care for you.

So, George, you get to watch

any of the auditions?

Watch, my ass.

I do the hiring.

I've seen every girl in Florida.

What are the criteria?

Monster jugs?

Firmness is crucial.

I gotta hold them for a while.

Shake them.

You shake their tits?

It ain't no picnic, man.

Got tendinitis in my right wrist.

On a rainy day, it's agony.

You audition anybody famous?

You know, before they were famous.

Sure did.

Meryl Streep.

Come on!

Meryl Streep stripped?

One of the best.

Chesty La France.

That was Meryl.

Chesty La France. I heard of her.

I give you anything you want.

A diamond ring.

A Lexus.

I'll get you a condo on the beach.

just be my girlfriend.

-Can't do that.

-Why not?

I love you.

You don't know what

I've done for you recently.

Really? And what was that?

I talked to judge Fingerhut

about your daughter.

You did?

And how did you know about my case?

Little birdie told me.

It must have been a little old

birdie who knew me very well.

"Who" is not important.

Come on now.

Not just a little hint.

I can't do that.

But I know the new judge.

He's a very good friend of mine.

The Honorable jack Goldberg.

He'll be more amenable.

Darlin', if you just come

into Davey's life. . .

. . .good things will happen.

You don't know how much

I worship you.

How much?

I sent my aide, Erb,

over to your laundromat.

He brought back some of your lint.

My lint?

Fresh. . .

. . .hot lint.

And what did you do

with that fresh, hot lint?

I'm afraid I made love to it.

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