Suburban Gothic Page #2

Yeah, that was really cool.

Oh, but then

you had me expelled.

Did I, though? I don't know.

You know what?

In fact I think this f*ggot

here deserves an ass kicking.

No, I think you're thinking

of a different f*ggot.

Um, I... honestly, I think

You're thinking of...

lay off him, pope.

If You're gonna bother

my customers, you have to leave.

Well, I was just leaving

anyway, Becca.

I'll be seeing you around.

Pah-pah, pah-pah, pah.

Pah, pah.

Parents wonder why I ever left.

Drink your beer

and stop being a b*tch.

Okay.

You don't remember me, do you?

Um...

No, I don't.

Becca Thompson.

We went to school together.

Guacamole. Becca Thompson.

- You... wow. You...

- Say it.

You lost a lot of weight.

You look really good.

Thanks. Looks like we both

lost a lot of weight.

- Raymond.

- Hmm?

I'm gonna have to ask you

to stop staring at my tits.

You're the only guy to come

through town in a long time

that I'd consider sleeping with,

and You're ruining it.

I was actually admiring

the tips of your hair,

but I will not do that anymore.

I'll look you right in the eyes.

What are you still doing

in town?

Well, most of you a**holes left

and I figured if all of us left

nothing around here

Would ever change.

The real question is

what are you doing here?

- Hector, my friend...

- Who's this f***ing a**hole?

Maybe you should

start thinking about uh,

selling

your construction company

and getting back behind a mower.

Yeah, you really missed

your calling, Donald,

I got to tell you.

Yeah, no, I'm trying

to distance myself

from that stereotype

at the moment.

? Cmo se llama?

What's your name?

Mi nombre es... The other

Mexican that's underpaid.

Will you get the f*** over

there with your compadres?

Dude, Where's

your sense of humor?

Get out of here. I want to talk

to your El bosso here.

You said you were

gonna be finished today.

- I did. But here's...

- My wife was counting on that.

She's on my ass in there.

I get it. Here's the thing.

I've never seen, in my 20 years

of doing this, Donald,

so many equipment malfunctions.

I mean, it's really...

it's f***ing weird.

I got to tell you.

The guys think

the property's cursed.

I'm dealing with that.

Well, now, that's

pretty goddamn superstitious

for a Mexican who doesn't

want to fall into a stereotype.

Yeah. It is, isn't it?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Anyways, look, here's what

I might be able to do.

You can help me out here.

I might be able to talk them

into working through the night.

Yeah?

If you can sweeten the pot

a little bit.

Oh, Christ.

How's &2,000 sound?

$3,000 sounds better.

$3,0ooand...

It's a deal.

One more thing.

"Suck my dick."

Terrible, right?

Mm, it's a choice.

These lesbian bikers talked me

into joining their metal band.

"Suck my dick" was our mantra.

Hmm.

Cool mantra. I'd love to catch

a show while I'm in town.

Are you guys playing

any time soon?

We're on a permanent hiatus.

Hmm. You know, I think

I might have something

that'll make you feel better

about the tattoo.

"Trust no one"?

I'm probably not gonna sleep

with you anymore.

I understand.

You just dug yourself

a vagina grave.

I do that a lot.

So, you still believe

in all that paranormal stuff?

Believe in it?

I've experienced it firsthand.

Frank.

Frank.

Come on.

Well, there he is.

Your grandfather.

He was one real son of a b*tch.

Right daddy?

Hmm?

Aaahh!

- No sh*t?

- It's weird.

I used to see ghosts regularly,

and then just suddenly

it stopped.

I feel like,

as I've grown older,

I've unfortunately become less

sensitive to the spirit world.

Sounds like you have

an amazing gift.

Why don't you pursue a career

in the paranormal?

Oh, my dad

threatened to disown me

unless I went

to business school.

You know, I should

actually probably stop.

Alcohol interferes with

my blood-pressure medication.

Drink it.

To parents knowing what's best.

All right We're working

through the night.

What? What do you mean We're

working through the night?

Just keep digging like I said.

I'm trying to avoid

a lawsuit man.

Just keep digging. Please?

You got to be f***ing

kidding me.

Well, that's hollow.

Watch out.

- Hold up a sec.

- Hey, hey.

What the f***?

Who?

It's like a girl or something.

Will you do me a favor?

See if it's...

hey, man, don't touch it.

Don't touch it.

What are you talking about?

Hey, man,

we got to report this.

No, I'm not reporting sh*t.

What five Mexicans

and a f***ing dead kid?

- What?

- Cover that sh*t up.

- This is not okay.

- Just cover it up.

We Can't just leave

this body here, dude.

F***ing cover it up.

Cover it up.

I know how that story ends.

F*** that.

We don't have no heads

And steal your legs

Steel-toed boots

Smash war and chains

And I know you ain't secret

Kick in your face

Lighten your load

Nice, and you play

Why say

I won't tell on you

Just like the rest

Why say

You guys suck!

Raymond,

I'm gonna give you a ride home.

Give me the keys.

What's that?

Painkiller.

In case we get into an accident.

Doesn't that strike you

as counter intuitive?

Nope.

Hello?

Go see who's out there.

You go see who's out there.

You're bigger than me.

Jesus Christ.

Donald, man, I know it's you.

Who's there?

I told you guys, it's...

Holy sh*t!

- Aaah!

- Aaaah!

Where you going?

I'm gonna run!

Get in the truck!

- Let's go.

- Alberto.

Alberto.

Come on, let's go.

Alberto.

Alberto, man,

where are you going?

You shouldn't have opened

that f***ing box.

Look, it's... it's f***ing

Donald playing tricks.

I told you already.

Mnhmnh. Mnh-mnh.

Mnh-mnh. It's not Donald.

But it's not Donald.

Come on, come on.

I got a job to finish.

Don't take my guys away.

Hey, finish it yourself.

I hate you so much.

F***ing a**hole.

Hey, Hector?

What?

F*** you! I quit!

Venga, pendejo.

Come on.

I see you back there.

Oh!

What are you pulling, man?

Huh?

That was rough.

I think I'm developing

night blindness.

I think it might have been

the pain-killer.

So, uh, you want to...

You want to come in?

I'm on my period.

No, You're not.

You know what?

I'm not.

I just really don't

want to have sex right now.

Neither do I.

Bye.

Well, you'd think with all the

maid services these people run,

they'd know how to clean up

after themselves.

- What's going on?

- What's going on?

Hector and his crew ran off

in the middle of the night

without finishing the job.

That's what's going on.

I'm just shocked that Hector

Would do something like this.

It's not like him.

I second that.

It's not like a Mexican

to run off without getting paid.

Hey, were they still here

when you got home?

Honey? Are you okay?

He's hung over.

Raymond.

Excessively drinking

with your high blood pressure?

Raymond, You're pathetic.

Have I ever told you that?

Mmhmm.

And bless this food.

- Amen.

- Amen.

Amen. You know, dad,

for someone who doesn't

believe in ghosts,

you really do pray a lot.

Hey, mom,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes