Sugar and Spice

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FADE IN:

INT. POLICE STATION - WITNESS VIEWING ROOM - DAY

PAN ACROSS the frightened faces of NINE WITNESSES, eyes fixed

straight ahead. A POLICE OFFICER walks slowly past each -

FOOTSTEPS ECHOING in their fear.

OFFICER:

Take your time. Take a good look.

He passes a nervous SAFEWAY CASHIER in uniform.

SAFEWAY CASHIER:

Ah, a-are you sure they can't see us?

OFFICER:

Two-way mirror, ma'am.

He passes a UNIFORMED CHEERLEADER, an OLDER WOMAN, then a

FACTORY WORKER, who removes his "Lincoln, Local 186" cap and

wipes his nervous brow.

FACTORY WORKER:

But they're trained killers. A guy at

the plant says, "In 'Nam they could

smell ya!"

OFFICER:

This is the United States of America,

Sir.

Officer reaches the end of the line - presses an intercom.

OFFICER (CONT'D)

(into intercom)

Face front.

Witnesses react - GASP - avert their eyes!

INT. POLICE STATION - LINE UP - DAY

The source of their fear - FIVE UNIFORMED CHEERLEADERS

against the suspect wall. They look like deer caught in

headlights.

A sixth cheerleader, DIAN WESTON, is helped up the steps.

One thing separates her from the rest - SHE'S SIX MONTHS

PREGNANT.

DIANE:

(friendly, to female officer)

I'm sorry to bother you, ma'am, but is

this going to take long? It's game

night.

OFFICER:

(on intercom)

Picture in three --

Like saying "walk" to a dog, the girls instantly smile.

OFFICER (CONT'D)

(on intercom)

-- two, one...

INT. POLICE STATION - LINE UP - DAY

FLASH WHITE to INDIVIDUAL MUG SHOTS (with CREDITS) over

LINCOLN HIGH SCHOOL SONG.

MATCH DISSOLVE WHITE INTO:

A LIGHT hanging above a table.

FBI AGENT (O.S.)

...a heinous crime has been committed

here...

CAMERA CRANES DOWN TO:

INT. POLICE STATION - INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY

CAMERA TRACKS EYE LEVEL around the table where an FBI AGENT

(mid-40's, black suit), sits across from LISA JANUSCH

(cheerleader from the witness side) - pretty, in a man-made

way - bitchy in a B-squad Cheerleader way. Other black

suited AGENTS stand in the room. CHEERLEADER MUG SHOTS cover

the table.

FBI AGENT:

...and testifying in such a case is a

serious matter. Should you decide your

testimony would jeopardize your personal

safety.

LISA:

Look, "Sipowitz", I said I'd tell you

everything - I was just hoping to finish

up before menopause kicks in.

She smiles sweetly to the agent, then pushes Diane's MUG SHOT

toward him.

LISA (CONT'D)

(dropping smile)

Let's start with the one who thinks her

sh*t don't stink. Diane Weston.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. DIANE'S BATHROOM - MORNING

CLOSE ON:

Foggy, heart-shaped mirror.

LISA (V.O.)

She's like a goddamn poster child for

high school.

A HAND ENTERS FRAME and WIPES CLEAR the mirror, REVEALING

DIANE (pregnant cheerleader in opening - not pregnant now).

DIANE:

(to self in mirror)

Morning, sunshine. Remember, these are

the best days of your life.

She starts to leave - then comes back.

DIANE (CONT'D)

-- so far!

She bucks her chin in the mirror and smiles - she's beyond

adorable.

LISA (V.O.)

If I wasn't such a lady, I'd tell you

what a b*tch she really is.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LINCOLN HIGH - GYMNASIUM - DAY

Sign reads "CHEERLEADING TRYOUTS." PAN DOWN a long line of

HOPEFUL GIRLS.

LISA (V.O.)

She's the A-squad captain - stole the

title from me. You should charge her

with that...

END ON:

Diane, pompoms on hips, smiles toward the camera. A SIGN on

the floor in front of her reads: "SQUAD MEMBER." A SIGN to

her left reads:
"CHALLENGER".

BRUCE, an effeminate young man, bounds up behind the

"CHALLENGER" sign - putting his pompoms on hips.

DIANE:

Hey, Bruce! You look cute...

BRUCE:

(off clothes)

Tommy Hilfiger. I'm hoping fourth

year's a charm.

He crosses his fingers and arms. Diane smiles. LISA runs in

frame and SHOVES Bruce to the ground.

LISA:

Outta my way, fag. I'm up.

Humiliated, Bruce RUNS O.S. Lisa takes his place, looks

straight ahead and smiles, pompoms on hips.

LISA (V.O.) (CONT'D)

This really should have been my year. I

had a lotta work done - I-I mean,

y'know, I'd done a lotta work over the

summer.

Diane can't take her eyes off Lisa.

DIANE:

Lisa?... Is-is that you?

LISA'S STUDENT I.D. drops INTO FRAME - her nose is big, she

has no chin.

LISA:

(looks straight ahead)

I lost a little weight.

I.D. LEAVES FRAME

LISA (CONT'D) (V.O.) (CONT'D)

You could tell it made her nervous.

Diane shakes her head in disbelief and turns forward.

DIANE/LISA

Ready?

(pompoms snap to waist)

Okay!

POMPOMS SNAP TO THIGHS and the CHEER BEGINS.

Diane is effortless as she glides, jumps and smiles through

it - clearly better than Lisa.

LISA (V.O.)

But they have to, y'know, spread the

talent around, so I've been on the B

squad for four years.

CUT TO:

INT. POLICE STATION - INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY

Lisa pushes the rest of the mug shots toward the FBI agent.

LISA:

Now, the squad as a whole? They're

closer than Carolina cousins. Some

people say they're, like, lezbos or

something. But that's mostly just the

yag-offs in band...

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LINCOLN HIGH - GIRLS' BATHROOM - DAY

FIVE PAIR of LEGS with MATCHING ANKLETS and WHITE KEDS dangle

from the stalls.

LISA (V.O.)

...truth is, they're so close - they all

get their monthly visit from "Aunt Rose"

at the same time.

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