Sun Dogs Page #3

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which is kinda like

what you'll be doing here,

at home, as a Special Operative.

So, I'm a Sun Dog, not a Devil Dog?

Right. But there are two of them.

Well, Sun Dogs often come in pairs,

but let's not get too caught up

in the details, Ned.

Sir, how do I contact you?

Here. Here's my card.

Thank you, sir.

Welcome to the fight.

Can I get that poster, sir?

The rumors of gold

long before...

The Spanish Explorer,

Juan Bautista de Anza,

- for whom the California town is named...

- Hey, that's us.

I can't do this.

I wrote the directions down.

Just go step-by-step.

- I... I don't think I can.

- Hold your horses.

They're talking about buried gold

right around the corner.

And turn that printer off.

Take that stuff to Kinkos.

- They can do this at Kinkos?

- That's what they do at Kinkos.

But you don't know what I'm doing.

And I don't wanna know what you're doing.

But I know whatever it is,

Kinkos is gonna do it better.

I gotta order the show now,

I missed half the damn thing

dealing with you.

I'll get it for you on eBay,

they have everything.

You don't say.

Nice.

And, there you go. There's 2,000

of those puppies right there.

Whoa, these are awesome.

Yeah, no, thanks.

I thought they turned out good.

Al-Qaeda's alive and well

here in the United States.

There are sleeper cells everywhere,

right under our noses.

Chances are they're gonna keep attacking us where

we live. At malls, in supermarkets, Kinkos.

- What, are you being serious?

- Oh, yes.

We have to be vigilant.

Here.

My email is on the bottom,

but you already know that.

Okay. Who are you?

The name is Chipley.

I'm with Master Sergeant Jenkins' unit,

out of San Diego.

They call us Sun Dogs.

Okay, and if I wanted to be a Sun Dog,

- is there more information?

- Don't say anything.

Don't say anything about what?

America's the bearer of the cross.

- Dude.

- Hello, sir.

- Are you serious?

- Name is Chipley.

My email's on the bottom.

Be vigilant.

Hello, ma'am.

Ned Chipley.

My email's on the bottom.

Ma'am, my name is Ned Chipley.

My email is on the bottom.

Welcome back,

it's time to meet our next contestant

from Anza, California.

We have nursing student,

Rose Chipley.

It says here you'd like to live

in New York City one day, Rose.

My girlfriends and I tried

to get on The Price is Right

to try and win a trip there.

Oh, my God, can I say that?

Can I say another show?

Well, we'll leave that up

to the editing crew, Rose.

In the meantime, maybe you can win

some cold hard cash

to help you to get to New York City.

Did I ever tell you

I wanted to live in New York

when I was younger?

Be an EMT?

Thought that'd be exciting.

Go to New York, be an EMT.

But you can't just go to New York

and be an EMT at my age.

Have to get the credentials

for one thing.

Get the credentials.

I'll save you.

It's very difficult to learn

a new vocation as an adult.

Of course, my nursing background

puts me nearly all the way there, but I...

I don't know.

You're right, I'm making excuses.

Yes! Oh, my God!

Sir, are you okay? Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God.

- Call an ambulance.

- Call an ambulance right away.

- Can you breathe?

- Are you all right, sir?

- Get out of the way.

- He's not breathing.

- Security, if you could...

- Get out of here.

- Somebody needs to help him!

- Call an ambulance!

- An ambulance is on the way, sir.

Just take a deep breath.

Relax.

Excuse me, ma'am?

- Ma'am?

- I'm already leaving.

- Wait.

- What? What do you want?

Shouldn't you be cleaning the toilet

or something?

- Julio and Mark do the toilets.

- Congratulations.

Wait. Do you know that guy

who grabbed you inside?

Who, Osama Bin Laden?

That's not Osama Bin Laden.

No sh*t, it's not Osama Bin Laden,

are you serious?

Can you keep a secret?

- No way.

- Mm-hm.

I'm with the Sun Dogs.

Master Sergeant Jenkins unit

out of San Diego.

Al-Qaeda is alive and well.

Why are you wearing that outfit?

Oh, oh, I get it.

You're undercover.

This is crazy.

There are sleeper cells everywhere.

And I hate terrorists.

Oh, my God, if there is anything

more depressing

than dying in a shitty casino,

I don't know what it is.

Any man ever grabs you

like that again,

- just go like this.

- Oh.

Martial arts.

- Thanks.

- Sure.

Leave no man behind.

Excuse me, sir?

My name is Ned Chipley.

I'm with the Sun Dogs.

Master Sergeant Jenkins unit.

Be vigilant.

So, let me get this straight.

You want to be a nurse?

- I am a nurse.

- But on wheels.

Okay.

Excuse me.

Why do you take the bus?

- I can't drive.

- Why?

Did you get hurt or something?

Is that scar from the war?

Sorry.

You don't have to answer that.

I didn't mean to pry.

- Stay here.

- Well, can't I come in?

Fine.

But you could...

Could you tell them that...

I could drive you, 'cause, like,

you're gonna need a driver

to follow them around.

- Hm.

- So...

Don't forget to tell them.

Thank you, sir.

- See you later.

- Okay.

All right.

Is that the case you forgot?

Are there important documents in there?

Welcome to the fight.

Four soldiers were killed

in Afghanistan yesterday

when a car bomb...

Here's your credit card and here

is Ms. Petersen's license, Mr. Chipley.

We should have more about

this attack later on in the day.

Be vigilant.

Okay.

We have Uday's address

and we're about to get on his tail.

Do you have anything to say?

Four soldiers were killed

in Afghanistan yesterday

when a car bomb exploded.

Did you know them?

Those are nice.

Are those special-issued shades?

You been to a lot of places, Ned?

A lot of places.

Yeah, I've been to a lot of places too,

but...

they've all been shitholes

just like this one.

- Shitholes?

- Mm-hm.

Mm-hm.

You come here

after you got injured?

Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to.

You don't have to tell me.

Maybe you'll tell me

when you get to know me better.

And I'll tell you a few things

when I get to know you better too,

so it'll be a fair deal. Fair deal.

Do you...

Do you live with people?

Like other Marines? I don't...

I don't know how this

counter-terrorism stuff works.

I'll just shut up now.

Most guys just want you to shut up.

Unless they want to get in your pants.

I live with my mother.

And Bob.

Okay. Oh.

You know what? That is...

That's actually pretty smart

from an undercover standpoint.

You work as a janitor,

you live with your mother.

That's...

No one would ever expect that.

That's kind of genius.

Holy sh*t, look.

Holy sh*t.

A white van? Very fishy.

Al-Qaeda is alive and well

here in America.

Man, you got that right.

- This is so awesome.

- You like it?

- Yes.

- Look, I can add graphics.

My mom lived with a million losers,

but this one guy, Ben, was all right.

He cut music videos

and he taught me all this stuff.

You're really good at this.

Well, I'm good at a lot of things.

We need to get this to Jenkins.

Dear Master Sergeant Jenkins,

the nine of spades

are on field, three friends.

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