Super Page #2

to have my soul born

into this disgusting me?

This ugly face,

this hair,

this hair that doesn't comb,

and this dumb,

idiotic personality?

Other people

stare at me, God.

I can tell.

They are amazed at how

something so stupid and idiotic

can even exist.

Why am I that?

Please, God.

I just want this one thing.

I'll ask for one thing.

I'll never ask

for anything ever again.

Please.

Let Sarah

be my Sarah again.

Amen.

I have been plagued by visions

throughout my life.

At the age of eight,

I saw Jesus

sitting on my wall.

- Don't worry about it.

It's not a big deal.

Why does everybody

take everything so seriously

all the time?

At 12, I discovered

my friend Johnny Stockwell

wasn't all he appeared to be.

And when I first met Sarah,

I heard the words of God.

Marry her.

I have never known if these visions

were divinely implanted

or something else.

But I never experienced

anything...

like this.

The finger of God.

What?

Touching your brain.

The tiniest tip of the tiniest tip

of the finger of God.

Even that is too much

for a human being's peanut mind

to comprehend.

There's a plan for you, Frank.

Some of His children are chosen.

Okay?

Okay.

Can I help you with something in particular?

Holy Avenger.

The Avengers?

No.

Holy Avenger.

Oh, Holy Avenger.

Jeez, do you always mumble

like that?

Back issues under H.

Right there.

Holy Avenger.

What a c*nt.

Hold this, a**hole.

Oh, the cook.

Yeah, you're the cook

at the diner.

I eat lunch there

all the time.

Tuna avocado salad?

Do you remember me?

No.

Really?

Are you really into

this Christ-y sh*t?

I've never read it before.

Well, dude...

God, I got to warn you

that this

is pretty f***ing stupid.

Well, I mean,

unless you're laughing

at how gay it is,

'cause then it's awesome.

Okay.

I mean, just look at this artwork.

They look like

a bunch of mongoloids.

You know what I mean?

How mongoloids' eyes

are like that?

Speaking of mongoloids,

just how f***ing crazy

would it be to be a midget?

Just f***ing crazy.

I don't understand

how you'd operate at all.

Can I just buy it?

Listen, "I'm no different

from you or anyone else, Holly.

"All it takes

to be a superhero

is the choice

to fight evil. "

Actually, the guy's

kind of got a point.

I mean,

I wonder all the time

why no one's everjust stood up

and become a real superhero.

"All it takes to be a superhero

is the choice

to fight evil. "

It was all so clear.

Maybe I couldn't shoot beams

out of my eyes or fly,

but the finger of God

had touched me.

And who's to say

what kind of powers

that gives a person?

Jock had stolen Sarah,

propelling me into

the depths of hell itself.

But in those depths,

I became myself

for the first time ever.

I found my skin.

Everybody give up.

It's me,

The Crimson Bolt.

You just made the biggest

mistake of your life.

Shut up, crime.

Here's The Crimson Bolt,

crime.

Crimson Bolt's journal.

Night one.

Waiting to protect innocents

from the dark forces

of evil.

Crimson Bolt's journal.

Night two.

There was no crime

last night.

I did, however,

see a few suspicious characters

who might have been planning

something for to-

Hold on!

It was just a box.

The wind was pushing it

down the street.

I'm not gonna

just leave it there.

I'll pick it up later.

I just don't want

to expose my position

at this time.

Hello.

I'm a college student,

and I'm doing a report

on where to buy drugs...

the streets where

all the drug dealers are.

You're writing a report on that?

Yes.

Why are you wearing a fake beard?

It's real.

Just my hair...

growing out of my face.

Oh, well, I guess we can just start

by checking the internet

for old news stories.

A lot of people think

it's fake, but it's not.

It's real.

They wanted me

to be a real-beard Santa

'cause of how real

my beard was.

But I was like, "No,

I have to write this report. "

Yo, brothers.

What I do you for?

Some smoke?

You got any weed?

F*** yeah, dog.

Got the motherfucking Thai stick.

This is what you good-looking brothers

need for a party.

P*ssy comes from miles away

when they smell this Thai stick,

you know?

Bet the two of y'all get

a lot of p*ssy, don't you, huh?

Yeah.

- Our share.

I knew it.

I can tell.

What do you say, man?

Hmm?

Thai stick, dude.

We got to.

Dude.

What the hell?

Dope-pushing scum!

Get out of here, man!

Dude, I think this is just sunflower seeds

glued to popsicle sticks.

Go!

Go, go-go-go-go!

Why are you doing this to me?

No fair!

No!

No fair!

Thud!

Clang!

Hey, motherf***er!

Yo-yo-yo!

Yo, you better get off our boy, man.

Yo, Nathaniel,

what the hell?

You better run, superbug!

Hey.

Yeah, I'm looking for comic books

with superheroes without powers.

Superheroes without powers?

Yeah, they have to use,

you know, weapons to defend themselves.

All right.

Yeah. Okay.

Batman.

Batarang, pipe bombs,

utility belt.

Utility belt?

Green Arrow has a bow and arrow.

Okay.

Captain America has a shield.

Shield...

- No, wait-wait-wait!

No, he has powers.

He has powers.

God.

Sorry, you know,

he's a supersoldier, so...

Okay.

Don't take that one.

Okay.

Catwoman has a whip.

There's Iron Man.

Now, Iron Man doesn't really

have superpowers, per se,

but he's in a superpowered suit.

Does that count?

I think I have enough.

I almost didn't say it,

but then I did.

I'm such an idiot.

Why do you need all those?

Research.

I'm making up my own superhero.

He needs a weapon.

Cool.

That'll do.

Oh, no.

Thwack!

Yo, man!

Oh, my neck!

Clang!

Oh!

Gracias, Mister.

Don't steal.

Don't molest kids.

Don't deal drugs.

Shut up, crime!

What?

Yes!

Hey, Frank.

Um, do you think

you could do me a favor

and give me a ride

to my meeting?

My PO's gonna kill me

if I miss again.

That's when I need to give

myself a little KISS, you know?

"Keep It Simple, Stupid. "

My sponsor has been great

about helping me

to stay grounded.

Well, then after spending that week in jail,

I just... I mean...

man, I don't ever

want to go back

to any place like that

ever again.

It's been two months now.

I'm gonna stay sober this time.

I really am.

Happy, joyous,

and free all the way.

You know what I mean?

I've never really been happy,

not even when I was a little girl.

It's funny.

I kind of think happiness is... overrated.

People spend their whole lives

chasing it,

like it's the most important

thing in the world.

Happy people

are kind of...

arrogant.

What?

Do people tell you you're weird, Frank?

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess you kind of are.

Also, you're different

to other guys I've known.

You're... good.

Come here.

What?

I want to try something.

What?

Come here.

You can't be happy for me?

I am happy for you, Sarah.

I just know that...

F***, you've always been like this.

Even when we were kids,

you were like this.

No, Sarah.

- Yes.

It's just fast.

Fast?

You just got sober after how long?

I mean, what is it that they say

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