Supercon Page #10

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That should cover them.

What is this?

It's for a photo op with you.

I'm sure these guys

meant to pay you,

but that's all I have left.

Your prices were a little

outrageous this year,

- if I do say so myself.

- Are you kidding me?

I'm talking hundreds of thousands

of dollars they stole.

Hundreds of thousands.

I don't have it, man.

Make sure you all

get my good side.

God knows you morons

don't have one.

- Let's get the f*** outta here.

- Look at yourselves!

Painted faces,

rhinestones everywhere.

Stupid costumes! God!

I got it all, and that's

the way it's gonna stay.

I see any of this on the

Internet, I'll sue you all!

I'm Adam F***ing King!

Future Force!

Shazam.

- Yeah.

- Hey.

Oh, wow,

a Future Force helmet.

This is for me?

The future is yours.

Cool.

Hey, aren't you

the ball cancer kid?

Yeah. Yeah, I am.

Nice.

Oh, so sweaty inside.

(SNIFFS)

Ugh! And it stinks!

Ugh! Like ball cancer.

Don't even ask.

The money's gone.

Oh, my God, Brock.

Not another word, Matt.

Not another word.

You guys didn't think you'd

get away that easy, did you?

MATT:
No way.

Ms. Lily?

(CHUCKLES)

I gotta hand it to you guys.

You sure made

this Fourth of July fun,

even if I did have to dig

Brock out of the bathroom.

That was you?

Don't worry.

That's all yours.

- I already took my share.

- What?

Well, I put a little extra

in there for Keith.

If I hadn't drawn

that big cock on King's car,

Gil probably wouldn't

have fired you.

I felt just a tad bit

responsible.

Yeah, but how did you...

Duh.

You mean J.K. Rowling?

Thanks, Dumbledore.

We regret to inform you that

Supercon is officially over.

(BANGING ON METAL)

- Help me!

- Thank you, Ms. Lily.

I did that Dragoncon job

because who's gonna

put Ms. Lily,

loved, adored, respected,

children's show host

behind bars?

Besides, it's a hell of a rush

being more bad than good.

Right now

we gotta get outta here.

And, sweetie...

My couch pulls out,

but you don't have to.

MATT:
Oh, snap.

(LAUGHING)

Well done, lady.

You guys did amazing.

Yeah, her too.

Oh, oh, my God.

Not one word.

I was number four!

Number four sexiest man

in the world, 1982.

You know what?

F*** the fans.

I'm done with all you f***ing

hairless fanboys.

I think you got it backwards.

We're done with you!

Oh, the mouth-breather speaks.

What'd you say?

Yeah, f*** you, Adam King!

Yeah, you supposed to be

treating the fans

with love and loyalty,

and you treat the fans

like that?

F*** you! Supercon

don't want your ass either!

Supercon's done with

your old KFC-looking ass.

You would never

try to screw anyone

out of their

hard-earned money,

would you, Gil?

Douche nozzle!

Little motherf***er.

Are you all getting

good shots for free?

This should cost you.

Geez, you all are pathetic.

Look at you.

(LAUGHING)

What are you laughing about?

What, you think this is funny?

What is the matter

with you people?

Liberace, you know him?

He hit on me four times.

What has happened

to this country?

You wanna be me.

All you women

wanna be with me.

You see, I have something

you all don't have.

You know what it is?

Power!

I'm the power of a celebrity,

and you...

(LAUGHING)

Rule number one...

Don't f*** with the fans.

Told you that car

was a piece of sh*t.

- (CROWD LAUGHING)

- Don't mess with me!

Don't mess with the King.

- (BELL DINGS)

- Hey, NerdGasm! Rob, Sean.

We just got back from

Supercon, and holy sh*t,

Adam King lost his mind!

Social retards.

You're 180 degrees

of pathetic copycats.

While you all are beating off

in your grandparents' garage,

I'm gonna be banging

a supermodel.

What do you

think of that, huh?

Sean can't even get

his f***ing helmet off.

My whole world is blowing.

It's going like this.

What do you know?

J.J. Abrams?

He sent me the script

for Lost, right?

What a stupid name.

Then I fired his ass.

We don't know what's happening.

Like sh*t is crazy.

We got f***ing kids

stealing sh*t.

Everybody, steal some sh*t.

He doesn't have cameras here.

Come down to Lickety Split

and steal some sh*t.

You know Joss Whedon?

- Joss?

- SEAN:
Yeah, we know Joss.

I'm the guy that told him

to drop the H,

so he would stand out.

Joss Whedon owes me

his entire career.

ROBERT:
That was actually

a pretty good suggestion.

Yeah, it was, wasn't it?

What are you, the sweatiest

man in the world?

What's up, YouTube?

Adam King

at the end of Supercon.

He makes Mel Gibson look like

a freaking pre-school teacher.

Carrie Fisher and I

got to second base.

I was drunk. You know

who she is, don't you?

Duh!

Adam King is f***ed.

He just stepped into

a big vat of sh*t.

Supercon is done.

The future is f***ed. Forced.

You think that David O.

Russell sh*t was something?

Wait till you see this.

We are going to sell

this sh*t to TMZ,

and we're going to be rich!

I cannot wait for it.

(GIBBERISH)

Warren Beatty is my wingman.

Hasselhoff's a p*ssy.

I got it all, and that's

the way it's gonna stay.

F*** the fans.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Passion hides

In painted smiles

Tropical liaisons

Wet and wild

Mingle and chime

The latter climb

For glamour and for glow

(LAUGHING)

The jet set meets

the maritime

Hey, watch it!

You're Lizzie Fisher?

I love your movies so much.

Can I have your autograph?

Princesses don't

work for free, kid.

Let's go.

And your will is dying

Let's go get you drunk.

I knew there was a reason

I liked you.

(LAUGHING)

Twat.

(ACTION MUSIC PLAYING)

MS. LILY:

Supercon is officially over.

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