Superman: Brainiac Attacks

Kryptonite, the ultimate bane

to Superman.

If it were only as big as my head.

I spent two years and $3 billion

mining outer space...

...and this green grain of rice is

all I have to show for it?

It's a pretty green.

Unless I have enough of it to make

Superman's head explode, Mercy, my dear...

...it's not the kind of green

that interests me.

LexCorp bleeds millions every time

the Man of Steel...

...thwarts my covert plans to

achieve world domination.

What does he have against

free enterprise, anyway?

And every day that Superman's

popularity spikes...

...mine drops another rung

down the sewers of Metropolis.

Well, I think you're amazing,

Mr. Luthor.

I pay you to think I'm amazing, Mercy.

But market research shows

it doesn't matter...

...how much money Lex Luthor

pumps into this economy.

People only respond to

amazing heroes.

So today, LexCorp unveils

a new breed of hero.

Up, up, and away above Metropolis,

to defend our city, our world...

...against wayward meteors

and alien threats.

The Lex 9000:
Because even Superman

can't patrol Earth's orbit 24/7.

The LX7 supercomputer indicates

the bogey may be space debris.

That debris just hung a hard right

toward Earth.

Let's put Lex 9000 to the test.

Velocity is off the charts. Impact in--

I know the when,

just give me the where.

Here. It's heading straight for us.

Let's get out of here.

Data. Billions of bit streams.

I think I shall help myself.

Brainiac just hijacked Lexlabs.

If he's gonna cripple Metropolis by

crashing all our computers

like last time...

...whose front page

am I gonna read it on first?

I'm on it, chief.

Just need to make a pit stop.

But my hands are still wet, Ms. Lane.

Dry them on your socks and

grab your camera, Jimmy.

If Kent beats us to another scoop,

I've officially lost my mojo.

Buckle up.

Mr. Luthor, sir.

Brainiac just crash-landed at Lexlabs.

But Lex 9000....

Shall I fetch the limo?

It's time to log off.

But I hunger for knowledge,

son of Krypton.

And knowledge is power.

You may want to attend to that.

He's going the other way, Ms. Lane.

What are we gonna do?

Get another angle on things.

Why can't you be more like Kent?

He never whines.

Heck, half the time,

I don't even know he's here.

You better get the fear.

Be a real newsman, or there's the door.

Ms. Lane, you know something

bad's gonna happen.

Why do you always have to

put yourself in these situations?

He's why, Jimmy.

Upload complete.

Another small step in my evolution

toward becoming the ultimate intellect.

And information is most valuable

if I am the only one who possesses it.

Were the only one.

Nice try, son of Krypton...

...but I am now equipped to

go one better.

It may not be kryptonite...

...but its power cannot be denied.

I am so happy.

No, wait.

-I'm sad.

-Sir?

Lex 9000 is supposed to bust up meteors,

not Superman.

News of this could ruin me.

Well, can't beat ringside.

Mercy, microwave some popcorn.

Oh, boy.

Ms. Lane!

Help! Help!

How ironic. Brought to your knees

by a device...

...intended to drive

the likes of me away.

With you deleted, son of Krypton...

...nothing can stop me from draining

your planet dry of all its data.

I think I shall enjoy hurtling humankind

back to the Dark Ages.

Brain freeze.

Ms. Lane, you really need

to be more careful.

You always catch me when I fall,

Superman.

Besides, how else am I supposed to

get to know you better?

Brainiac and Lex 9000 made quite a team.

They were yay close to offing

the big, blue boy scout.

Until Superman brained Brainiac.

Or did he?

Please, please, shoot my good side.

Didn't know you had one.

Touch, Lane.

Welcome, Superman.

I'd offer you a latte, but Brainiac seems

to have busted up our refreshment station.

Mr. Luthor, care to comment about the

operation of your so-called meteor buster?

Hey, I just build the stuff.

How intergalactic scum choose to use it is

another matter. Isn't that right, Superman?

If it had done its job and

shot down Brainiac in the first place...

...we wouldn't be having

this conversation.

New technology always

requires fine-tuning.

But the real question is,

who's gonna pay for this mess?

Thanks to you, Superman, Brainiac's in

no condition to cut me a check.

Nope, no signs of life here.

Kent, you're one heck of a journalist,

maybe my best.

You meet deadlines

without breaking a sweat...

...and without putting yourself

in harm's way like Lane.

I'm not sure how you pull it off.

Well, guess I just keep my eye on the story

and my fingers on the typewriter keys.

Kent, I wish you'd reconsider my offer

to be our foreign correspondent.

Branch out.

It's the Daily Planet, after all.

Oh, I don't know, Mr. White.

I'd hate being so far away

from home base, from the gang.

What are you, in kindergarten?

I suggest you worry about being far from

home when you decide to settle down.

-Mercy.

-Nice collection you got there, Jimmy.

Which do you recommend

I use for my story?

This one's my favorite.

Get over her, Jimmy.

She'd eat you alive.

Sarah's really more your speed.

Sarah? That geek?

We don't have anything in common.

You both work for the newspaper.

-She's the food critic.

-Free meals.

You'd never have to pick up the check.

I like cheeseburgers and chili fries.

She likes chichi.

It's her job to like chichi.

You know what they say, Jimmy:

Beauty isn't skin-deep.

Look who's talking,

Miss Only Has Eyes For Superman.

I won't deny there's something about

a flying man in tights that

gets me tingly...

...but when you look into someone's eyes

and get that connected feeling...

...like somehow

you've always known them...

...that's when you know it's right.

So, Jimmy, get past the glasses, huh?

Hey, someone mention chili fries?

Yeah, about four hours ago.

Well, you two have fun.

I have a Superman story to finish.

Check out my snaps, Mr. K.

Mercy may work for the dark side...

...but I think that just adds

to her dangerous allure.

I wouldn't know, Jimmy.

She's not exactly my type.

Hello, anyone home?

What? Where am I?

I was hoping his first words

would be " Dada."

Where are you?

And Lex Luthor gave him sight.

-Lex Luthor?

-In the flesh.

-I know of you through my--

-Acquisition of knowledge...

...through my patented Lexlabs

supercomputer....

Your tone conveys a familiarity that

has not yet been earned, Lex Luthor.

You know, it's just

that kind of braggadocio...

...that got you brained to bits

in the first place.

By the son of Krypton, yes.

I'm feeling the love here. Are you?

Brainy, babe, you and I are both

muy simpatico.

We're both into the

world-domination thing...

...and we both despise the superpowered

boy scout of Metropolis.

If you have a point, make it.

I can provide you with the

ultimate opportunity...

-...to annihilate Superman.

-And in return?

You allow me to publicly avenge

the Man of Steel.

Put on a big show, playing hero,

chase you from Earth.

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