Superman: Brainiac Attacks Page #2

Then you take over some other world

far away...

...and leave the domination

of this one to me.

-We both live happily ever after.

-The end.

We make strange allies, Lex Luthor.

But giving up Earth is small sacrifice

for ridding the galaxies

of my mortal enemy.

Let's rebuild you, partner.

I am a biotechnic entity.

All that I require

is proximity to technology...

...to incorporate into my very being.

Hey, I didn't mean

to step on any proverbial toes.

But if that's the case...

...I suggest that we incorporate you...

...with something other

than a toaster oven this time.

Something with a little more...

...muscle.

Clark, is something troubling you?

You hardly touched

your chicken and dumplings.

Yeah, you usually have

at least six helpings.

I'm watching my carbs, Mom.

Well, we're sure glad you flew home

for the weekend, son.

Since you've been in Metropolis,

we barely see you.

Figured it was work keeping you busy.

Or a lady.

-Any thoughts about settling down?

-On Earth?

Oh, I'm here to stay.

Lois has been on my mind. Again.

How are things, you know,

going with her?

As Superman? Dandy.

But she can't seem

to look Clark Kent in the eye.

Well, maybe it's the spectacles.

Ever consider getting

that new-fangled laser surgery?

He doesn't need glasses.

Right, right, x-ray vision. I knew that.

Look, Lois is a crack reporter.

Best there is.

It's only a matter of time

before she gets past the glasses...

...sees through my disguise.

I'm concerned she won't ever trust me...

...or Superman again.

I need to tell Lois the truth.

So, what's keeping you, Clark?

You got our support.

I have powerful enemies who would give

anything to find my weak spot.

If any one of them were to discover

what Lois might learn...

...that Clark Kent is Superman....

Well, I can't knowingly put Lois...

...put anyone I care about,

in that kind of danger.

Son, we know you're Superman,

and we're just fine.

Clark, if there's one thing we've learned

since being blessed with you...

...a risk is worth taking if it's for love.

Since you've already hijacked

Lex 9000 once on your own...

...I have an automatic alibi.

You just build the stuff.

Enough dallying.

My biotechnic-grafting process

requires an incubation period.

Hold your horses, Brainy.

We have a couple of extras

for your travel kit. One:

Kryptonite.

A smidgeon, but who knows?

Combined with your new firepower...

...it might be just enough

to kick things up a notch.

And second?

We took a swab

off your shiny little dome...

...and guess what turned up.

Your IQ.

Seems Super-Duperman

clocked you so hard...

...he left a little something

for you to remember him by.

A strand of DNA.

With the Kryptonian's DNA,

I can lock on to his energy signature...

...track him wherever he may be.

That's right, partner.

Superman may run

faster than a speeding bullet...

...but he can't hide.

See you at Superman's funeral.

Night.

See you in the a.m.

Not so fast.

Kent, need you

to cover for Sarah tonight.

She just called in sick.

Lovesick.

No, ate some bad clams.

You'll be reviewing

Lamont Laboe's new hot spot.

Trs chichi.

But, Perry, I don't know

the first thing about how to--

Lane, the reservation's for two.

Help the man out.

Hungry?

Once again, I am reborn.

-I didn't know it was gonna be so....

-Dark?

Welcome to Le Chateau Laboe...

...the most romantic

dining experience in Metropolis.

Are we celebrating

an anniversary tonight?

Honeymooning?

Dating.

-Actually, we're....

-Critics.

So let's keep things professional, huh?

I love to dine surrounded by beauty.

After I make a show of mopping up Brainiac

with one of my patented Lexosuits...

...l'll be the new boy scout

of Metropolis.

And the military will finally beg

to pay you top dollar for them.

You're learning, Mercy.

Now, parmesan, por favor.

Sir, mission control

has lost all contact with Lex 9000.

It vanished.

It's showtime.

Well, no, no, I'm sure....

Calamari not your thing, Smallville?

I'm 1 00 percent corn-fed.

If it's not Mom's

chicken and dumplings....

Well, I'm glad there's squid on the table.

My pen just ran out of ink.

You know, Lois, I never pegged you

for such a romantic.

I mean, with Jimmy.

Playing matchmaker and all.

I just hate seeing people

miss opportunities.

Life's too short, you know what I mean?

I think I'm starting to.

So I meddle in Olsen's affairs.

What's your story, Kent? Seeing anyone?

I'm waiting for a special someone

to take notice of me.

Kent, why so mild-mannered?

You shouldn't be afraid

to tell a girl what's on your mind.

I mean, you're kind, intelligent...

...good-looking, well-built....

What is it, Lois?

For a moment, you...

...reminded me of someone I know,

that's all.

Lois, this is hard for me.

Maybe harder than anything

I've ever had to say.

But there's something I need to tell you.

Son of Krypton.

Yes, Clark?

You have something right here.

-Son of Krypton.

-I'm here, Brainiac.

Clark? Clark?

I have been keeping pace

with current trends in technology.

And I have upgraded

with one goal in mind:

Your destruction.

Chief, trust me.

This is one restaurant review...

...you'll want plastered

on the front page.

All I need is my ace photographer.

Hey, wait a sec.

Technology.

Enemy engaged.

You cannot hide from me,

son of Krypton.

The more I try to resist him,

the weaker I become.

This time, son of Krypton,

I possess brawn as well as brain.

Oh, no.

Ms. Lane.

Lois. Lois.

Superman, I...

...should be more careful.

We're doing everything we can

to keep her comfortable.

She can be comfortable at home, doc.

What's her condition?

We're still running tests, but...

...her blood cells seem to be fusing...

...with traces of metal alloy.

As if she's being galvanized

from the inside out.

We've called in specialists, but...

...if Ms. Lane's blood

continues to mutate at this rate...

...she hasn't much time.

Superman.

He didn't save her this time, Mr. Kent.

Superman didn't save her.

I need to go away for a while, Jimmy.

But I promise you...

...Superman will do everything

in his power to save Lois.

Was quite a slugfest

at the new fondue joint last night.

But I'm not sure

which I find more tragic:

Superman's corpse

failing to turn up in the rubble...

...or Lane's little mishap.

Maybe she'll think twice next time

she decides to snoop in your business.

If there's a next time.

Mercy, send flowers.

We could use the PR.

Welcome to your

Fortress of Solitude, Kal-EI.

Lois has been harmed, and it's my fault.

Brainiac knew I was at the restaurant.

Which means he's either

discovered my identity...

...or a way of tracking me.

Then I must question the wisdom

in your coming here, Kal-EI.

All of Krypton's secrets

could be compromised.

I need to save Lois.

Nothing else matters.

And this is the one time neither my speed

nor my strength can help her.

My analysis of Ms. Lane's

condition is complete.

Most curiously, I have detected a faint

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