Support Your Local Sheriff! Page #2

With the spiralling prices around here,

that'd only allow a man to eat

and sleep about eight days a month.

- The job includes room and board.

- Not at Emma's Tasty Food Emporium?

At my house.

My daughter does the cooking.

Gentlemen, it's only fair to tell you I'd only

be interested on a temporary basis.

Oh?

I was on my way to Australia

when I heard about your gold strike

and I decided to travel through here

to see if I could pick up a little stake.

- What do you want to go to Australia for?

- It's the last frontier country.

- I thought I might do a bit of pioneering.

- I thought we was pioneers.

- So did I.

- To get back to the sheriff's job.

If I take it, it's with the understanding I get

time off to do the prospecting I came for.

Well, you ain't said nothing yet

about your qualifications for the job.

Don't worry about that.

If I take it, you'll be glad.

It ain't just a question of taking the job, it's

also a question of being able to handle it.

Olly, we ain't in much of a position

to be choosy.

Him talking about it at all

certainly shows the right attitude.

I don't care what it shows. As mayor,

it's my responsibility to hire us a sheriff

that's not only got qualifications

but ain't gonna get killed

the first time he sticks

his nose out of the door.

There you go.

- What's your point?

- Just an exhibition of marksmanship.

- The bullet went through the hole.

- Maybe it did, maybe it didn't.

- Oh, it did. Take my word for it.

- I'd like to take your word but...

Would you mind doing it again,

Mr McCullough?

- You want me to do it again?

- If you don't mind.

- Well, I already shot one hole in your roof.

- That's all right.

I hope you didn't take offence

at nothing I said earlier, sir.

No. Gentlemen,

just to keep the record straight, now.

$150 a month

and the room and board is fine.

But I've got to do my prospecting.

I'm on my way to Australia.

You just name your terms, mister.

We'll rush to meet 'em.

Fine, as long as everything is straight.

Is there some kind of badge with this job?

Oh, you bet there is.

- I'm afraid it's a little bent up.

- That saved the life of whoever wore it.

It would have if it wasn't for all them

other bullets flyin' in from everywhere.

Gentlemen.

- Do we have a jail here?

- Do we have a jail?

A brand-new one with two cells that

the whole community built last month.

Even the dance-hall girls showed up,

made sandwiches and carried on.

It was designed

to be practically escape-proof.

Good, because I'm gonna have

to throw a couple of people in it.

- There's one thing. It's got everything.

- Even a new stove with a coffee pot.

The only thing it hasn't got

is iron bars for the cells.

You're kiddin'.

We had to send away for 'em

and they ain't arrove yet.

It's got glass windows and brooms

and kerosene lamps. You name it.

- Just no bars for the cells.

- Right.

- Well, all right, I'll think of something.

- You ain't wanted for anything anywhere?

Not that it matters. We understand

how them little things can happen.

No, I'm not wanted for anything anywhere.

You realise the chance you was taking

asking him that?

He might have took offence.

I'm the mayor and I got responsibilities.

The question had to be asked.

Mr Mayor, if I could get

a few men on this pump over here,

I think we could stop this thing.

Sure thing, Sheriff. Give us a hand, men.

All right, men. Let her go.

A little more.

Break it up.

OK, cut it.

- What are you tryin' to do?

- Stoppin' a fight.

- Who are you?

- I'm the new sheriff.

Oh, we got a new sheriff.

Let's see if he scares

as easy as the last sheriff.

I want all you people to quit disturbing

the peace and clean up this mess.

Yes, sir. Anything else?

- You got a name?

- Jake.

Right, Jake, I want you

to go into the Mint Saloon.

There's a fella in there

by the name of Joe Danby.

Tell him I remember his name.

He's under arrest for murder.

I'll be in to pick him up in not 20 minutes.

- You talkin' to me?

- You hard of hearing?

You want me to tell Joe Danby

that he's under arrest for murder?

- What about after he kills me?

- I'll arrest him for both murders.

- Where's the jail?

- Just follow me, Sheriff.

You won't find a better jail

for 200 miles.

That is, if he can find one at all.

- Everything seems to be in order.

- Our last sheriff was a good organiser.

Yellow clear through,

but a good organiser.

We should be getting the bars in

any day now.

- That oughta do it.

- That oughta do what, Sheriff?

That oughta take care of it

till we get the bars in.

I've got my bedroll and other things

over at the stable.

I'll pick them up, then settle in

where I'm gonna stay.

I got a nice room for you at my house.

Shall we go over there?

Then I can pick up that Danby fella.

There is something you better know

about the Danbys.

Why bother the sheriff

about that stuff now?

- But, Fred...

- We can fill him in after he settles in.

- You comin', Mayor?

- I'll be right with you, Sheriff.

This is like murder.

I hope you know that.

Just cos we've lost three sheriffs

don't mean we're gonna lose four.

- Our luck is bound to change.

- What about his luck?

Prudy! Prudy!

- Just put your things over there.

- All righty.

Prudy!

I want you to meet my daughter, Sheriff.

A good cook. Mighty fine-lookin' girl.

Takes after her dear, departed mother.

- Mother died, huh?

- No, she just departed.

Come on, Sheriff.

I'll show you the parlour.

That little organ,

that came all the way from Dsseldorf.

The furniture was shipped

through St Louis and Chicago.

- This desk is where I do my mayor work.

- Very nice.

I guess you could say

this is about the finest house in town.

Let me show you the dining room.

That's where you'll be having your meals.

Prudy! I want you to meet someone.

- This is the dining room.

- You sure have a nice place here.

Thank you, Sheriff. A drink?

- Water, if you have some.

- Water?

Sure thing.

We've got a pump inside the kitchen.

Inside the house?

There's the pump.

Sheriff.

Before you go down

to arrest Joe Danby,

a couple of things you oughta know.

- All right.

- The Danbys, there's four of them.

Father and three sons,

all of 'em pretty tough customers.

- Outlaws?

- No, not exactly.

But in many ways,

you might say they're like outlaws.

- How's that?

- They do pretty much as they like.

And they get real nasty

when anybody tries to stop 'em.

You mean...

You mean you don't want me

to arrest this boy?

No, not at all. It's just it's a new idea.

Takes a little bit of getting used to.

I stood there in that saloon and watched

him gun a man down in cold blood.

Oh, I believe you, Sheriff. It's just

the kind of thing you'd expect Joe to do.

- But are you sure it wasn't self-defence?

- Not a chance.

Sometimes them things happen so fast.

It didn't happen all that fast.

Look, Mr Perkins.

You're the mayor of this town. If you order

me not to arrest this man, you're the boss.

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