Support Your Local Sheriff! Page #3

I'll have to give you this badge back,

cos that is no way to run a town, Mayor.

I couldn't agree with you more.

Furthermore, I'll expect all the law-abiding

citizens to back me up in this job.

They will, Sheriff. Well, maybe

not all of them. Not right at first.

You see, it's like I told you.

I'm just on my way to Australia.

You go ahead

and do what you think is best.

I'd better go and alert everybody...

We're all behind you, Sheriff.

Don't give it another thought.

You don't need any help with Joe Danby?

- No, I can handle it.

- Oh, good. Good.

- You're the strangest girl I ever met.

- Go away.

Do you always show this side of your

nature or am I just lucky on my first day?

I suppose you have some reason

for sitting up there like that?

Ordinarily, a girl doesn't get undressed,

pour a bucket of water over her head,

then climb a tree.

I'm warnin' you...

- Hi, Mrs Danvers.

- What in the world...?

Prudy, is this man bothering you?

- Do you know this young lady?

- Of course.

That's Prudy Perkins.

She lives here in this house.

Does she have any past history

of strange behaviour like this?

Why, no. Prudy's always been

a sweet, normal, loveable...

Of course,

there were a couple of times last year.

What happened last year?

It wasn't really anything.

The annual town picnic, she got

her hair caught in the ice-cream freezer.

I think we ought to be merciful and forget

about this whole unfortunate incident.

Good day, ma'am.

Sheriff, I didn't go down there

and tell Joe like you asked.

- Why not?

- Nobody's paying me to take chances.

You never know

how that Joe is gonna react.

Why should you worry what Joe thinks?

Cos he's mean, Sheriff, and he's nasty.

He enjoys killin' people.

- All them Danbys enjoy things like that.

- You're faster than Joe.

- Who says so?

- I do. I've seen you both draw.

You're faster than he is.

Supposing it's true,

why should the matter ever come up?

Jake...

How would you like the job as my deputy?

I'd hate it.

Even if I lived through it, I'd hate it.

I don't know how much they're paying you

but you gotta believe me, it ain't enough.

He's expecting you. Some of these

other people told him you was coming.

I hear you're gonna try and arrest me.

You don't look near as tough

as those other sheriffs we've had lately.

Particularly that old boy who done run off

an hour and a half after he took the job.

Joe, you just make me feel tired all over

when you talk like that.

Now, what do you mean by that?

It's bad enough to have to kill a man

without having to listen

to a whole lot of stupid talk from him first.

And remember, Joe, I've seen you draw.

All right, Sheriff, hold it.

Now, drop your gun belt.

- I couldn't let him shoot you in the back.

- Oh, you could have.

Is this the kind of town you people

want for yourselves, this kind of life?

Three killings in one saloon alone

and the sun hasn't even gone down yet.

Any more of this foolishness,

I'll close this place up tight.

- Yes, sir. I wouldn't blame you a bit, sir.

- Pick it up, Joe. Go on, pick it up.

I'm gonna get you for this, Jake.

You are the toughest-talkin' blowhard

I ever heard.

You might as well come on. Whether you

like it or not, we're on the same side now.

Come on, Joe.

Take it easy, boys. Me and the sheriff

takes a dim view of show-offs with guns.

Remember.

No more shooting till the sun goes down.

- Is that what he said?

- Close enough.

Drinks are on the house.

Jake, why don't you look around the desk

and see if you can find a deputy's badge?

I never said I was taking no job

as a deputy.

You're tryin' to corner me into this.

I'm surprised

at what's happening to me too.

I was just ridin' through on my way

to Australia... Where are you going?

- This is just plain stupid.

- Are you callin' the sheriff stupid?

Do I have to listen to him?

He's the town character.

Was the town character!

I'm now deputy sheriff and probably

the second fastest gun around here.

- Did you hear that?

- He probably is.

If he isn't, he will be after I have a chance

to work with him for a couple of days.

Come on, Joe.

Joe, the cell on the right here is yours.

We don't have any bars yet.

- You're kiddin'.

- That's what I said.

But we're going to operate

just as if the bars were there.

You stay on that side of the line

and everything should work out fine.

What?

While you're in this jail,

you stay on that side of the line

and you and I will get along fine.

You expect me to sit here

in this lousy cell...?

What is that red stuff

all over the floor there?

Oh, that's the poor fella

that crossed the line earlier today.

Now, Joe, you just stay right there

and behave yourself.

- Maybe if you wanted something to read.

- Read?

No, I guess you wouldn't.

Sorry.

- Well, I see you found a badge.

- Yeah.

Are we gonna set out

to clean up this town?

- I guess that's about it.

- All by ourselves?

Not that we'd turn down any help

cheerfully offered.

Nobody is gonna offer no help,

cheerful or any other way.

I think you're probably right, Jake.

How much money

am I makin' in this job?

Well, let's see. I'm the sheriff

and they're paying me $150 a month.

Shall we put your salary

at about half that, plus room and board?

Plus all the ammunition you need

to carry on the job.

Of course, I haven't checked out your

employment with the mayor and council.

- You mean they might turn me down?

- I don't think so.

No, I think their attitude is going to be,

if we found somebody cra... willing

to take the job, don't rock the boat.

You can bet

that's what their attitude's gonna be.

Ever been sheriff of a town

that needed cleanin' up?

- No, I haven't.

- Ever been the sheriff of any town?

No, not that either. But the mayor seemed

to think my qualifications suited the job.

He'd have thought that if you was blind

in both eyes and crippled in both legs.

I think you've got

the situation pegged, Jake.

- Want me to warm some coffee?

- I never turn down a cup of coffee.

- How long you been out west?

- About four years.

- From where?

- East.

- I was raised up in Indiana.

- Well, that could be either good or bad.

Them four years you been out west,

what you been doin'?

Well, mostly,

I've been on my way to Australia.

- For four years?

- It takes some people longer than others.

- What's in Australia?

- A lot of things. You'd be surprised.

- Any other questions, Jake?

- Oh, I... There's no...

No, it's all right. If there's anything I want,

it's a deputy who's at ease in his mind.

Well, you ain't got one.

I don't know where you're gonna

get one in this town, either.

- Why Australia?

- You'd know if you'd read a book about it.

- I ain't never even seen a book about it.

- They got one in the library in Chicago.

If you're ever up that way,

take a look at it.

They got pictures, everything.

They got little people over there, like that.

They got a stick that when they

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