Support Your Local Sheriff! Page #4

throw it away, it comes back at 'em.

They got some animals there...

They got one that hops. It'll box you.

It carries things in its tummy.

When you shot

that friend of Joe's in the back,

you fired two shots.

I figure they went in, oh...

about that far apart, huh?

Pretty sloppy shootin', Jake.

I was in a hurry to save your life.

I wasn't trying to group my shots.

If you'd been five feet further away,

you'd have missed him entirely.

I'd say that was

a pretty pitiful showing, Jake.

- You see that bottom nail on the right?

- Yeah.

- That's weird.

- What's weird?

- That anybody can shoot like that.

- Just a matter of practice.

How come nobody ever heard of you,

a man that can shoot like that?

- How come you ain't got a reputation?

- What would I want with a reputation?

That's a good way to get yourself killed.

You just go on practisin'

while I put Joe back in jail.

Joe.

I took the bullets out.

You just won't play the game, will you?

I keep layin' down the rules.

You don't pay any attention.

Just wait till my pa and two brothers

find out you've got me in here.

I'm lookin' forward

to meeting your whole family.

Go on.

It's bad enough I was dragged

out of that saloon in front of my friends.

Oh, I doubt if you have all that many

friends that you need to be upset, Joe.

And then I have to sit there

in that lousy cell.

Pa is gonna skin me alive

for getting caught.

He won't mind you murderin' that man,

he just doesn't like you gettin' caught?

I didn't murder anybody.

That was self-defence. It was him or me.

Well, we'll let the judge decide that.

We do have a judge around here?

Never needed one till you come to town

and ruined everything.

- Spoiled all your fun, huh, Joe?

- You can say that again.

That's funny...

That's real funny.

I hope you ain't got no religious

convictions against drinking.

Not since I gave up my parish.

I'm only kidding, Mayor.

- Mayor, what about my deputy?

- No problem.

- I'm curious as to why you picked Jake.

- Jake backed me up when it counted.

I'd have to wait and find that out about

another man. Then it might be too late.

How about a judge?

The need for one

ain't exactly been felt up to now.

- That's what Joe said.

- If I can't appoint one, who can?

Some show you put on

at the saloon this afternoon.

- Kind of sobered up the whole town.

- That's good.

Maybe. Maybe not.

It has been a lot of fun here up to now.

Everything kinda wide open and relaxed.

Nobody lookin' down their noses

at anybody who shot somebody else,

poking their noses

into nobody's business

without getting their big noses

blasted off in the process.

I guess now that we've got law and order,

churches will start movin' in.

That's usually the next thing.

Then the women will start forming

committees, having bazaars.

Then they'll chase Madame Orr's girls

outta town or make 'em get married.

But what the hell. Like you said, the law's

the law and we all gotta face up to it.

- When did I say that?

- You know what I mean.

Well, I was just short of money

when you offered me this job.

But you didn't have to take it. I mean,

there's dozens of other jobs around.

Well, don't worry about it.

I'm not going to keep it too long.

I'm just passin' through

on my way to Australia.

I'll drink to that.

Argh!

- What are you...?

- You was on fire, Prudy! You was on fire!

Fire?

Oh...

I'm sick and tired of these stupid things

that have been happenin' to me.

And somebody'd better

do something about it soon.

- That's quite a daughter you got.

- I think she's crazy.

Why would you think that?

I know why I'd think...

She had some shocks this year. She got

wealthy overnight. It unhinged her.

Then she was always big for her age

and puberty hit her hard. That'll do it.

- I didn't know that.

- Well, it will!

As a disinterested stranger,

how does she hit you?

- Well, she...

- You are disinterested, ain't you?

Oh, I think you could safely say that.

She's a rich gal in her own name, Sheriff.

Sole owner of the Millard Frymore

Memorial Mining Company.

- Whoever marries her gets the mine?

- Shaft and all.

Yeah, well, that won't hurt her

in certain circles, will it?

I better fry us up something to eat.

No, thank you. I better go down and

relieve Jake. This is his first night on duty.

- You expectin' trouble?

- What do you think?

The Danbys. Some people think

you could've waited a couple of days

before you stuck your nose

in our biggest hornet nest.

When you set out to clean up a mess,

you don't watch that mess get bigger.

I guess you know what you're doin'.

I don't know what I could've said

to give you that idea, Mayor.

Puberty.

You gonna stick to your plan of

handling this by yourself, are you, Pa?

Since when did it take more than one

Danby to take care of a thing like this?

You know what a tiger you are.

You're liable to go chargin' in there...

- And what?

- Nothing. I didn't mean nothing.

You ain't got brains enough

to mean nothing.

You two go in here

and order yourselves a drink.

I'll be back with Joe

before you can finish 'em.

I believe you've got one of my children

in your jail here.

How dare you walk into my office

and pull a gun on me?

- Get your finger out of the end of my gun!

- How dare you pull a gun on me?

I said take your finger out.

Until I do, take your finger off that trigger

and let the hammer down real slow.

If that went off,

it'd have blown up in my face.

It wouldn't have done my finger

a hell of a lot of good, either.

- What can I do for you, Mr Danby?

- My son Joe.

Well, it seems Joe

murdered a man this afternoon.

I heard he killed a man

in a fair gunfight.

- I was standin' right there.

- Standin' right where?

In the saloon when Joe killed him.

Well, now, that was

real smart of him, wasn't it?

I've been around Joe all afternoon.

I haven't seen him do one smart thing yet.

- Anything else?

- Can I see him?

Why didn't you take that approach

when you came in? In there.

I'm obliged to you.

- Hi, Pa.

- What is this?

No bars on the window.

No bars in the cell.

No bars nowhere.

- What's keepin' you in here?

- That guy out there.

He won't let me move

without jumpin' down my throat.

Besides, he lies to me

about whether my gun is loaded.

- He does what?

- Are you gonna get me outta here or not?

Never mind that. Who was it you killed?

I don't know his name.

He was some bum in the saloon.

Besides, he drew first. Are you gonna

believe me or that liar out there?

- Why don't you shut up?

- It wasn't anybody that we know.

Pa, you always told me there wasn't

a jail that could hold a Danby.

- Well, now they built one.

- Oh...

You'll have to stay here

for a couple of days.

But we run this town.

I gotta throw in with that sheriff that

you don't dazzle with your intelligence.

Now, you just sit tight here till I've had

a chance to think this thing out.

Couldn't you do it

when he weren't lookin'?

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