Support Your Local Sheriff! Page #5

He wasn't the sheriff

when he done seen me do it.

I didn't think of that before. That could be

a loophole to get me out of here.

Don't you try to do nothing about this

situation. Leave that to me and the boys.

- That's a lousy jail you got in there.

- We're just gettin' started.

- What's he supposed to be?

- That's my deputy.

Last week, he was shovelling horse...

working in the stable.

Well, he's been promoted.

I'm gonna find out

what's happened to this town.

What did Danby want?

Oh...

He just came in and we talked a while.

He went in to see Joe.

He came back out,

we talked a little more, then he left.

You know...

- He strikes me as being a lonely man.

- Lonely? Danby?

He's a mean, no-good,

low-down bushwhacker.

Well, now, there, you see?

No wonder he's lonely.

He stuck his finger in your what?

Would you shut up?

Everybody will be lookin'.

I don't understand what happened.

You said you had your gun on him.

I ain't gonna explain it again.

I don't have to explain nothing to you two.

Instead of sittin' here askin' questions,

why don't you come up with suggestions?

Why don't the three of us go over there?

I don't care

if he is the fastest gun anywhere.

- Who says he's the fastest gun?

- Everybody.

That's all they're talkin' about

all over town.

- What could he do against three of us?

- He could kill two of us.

You ain't talkin' like yourself, Pa.

You always charge in

and we hold you back.

- We ain't gonna leave Joe to get hung?

- Well, of course we ain't.

Who says we gotta

take care of the sheriff?

Who says anybody has to? Why don't we

run him outta town like the last sheriff?

Because this one won't go.

He didn't throw a scare into you,

did he, Pa?

I didn't mean that the way it sounded.

I just meant...

Well, what did he do to you, Pa?

He maybe made me

a little more thoughtful.

He maybe made me realise that now

we've got a little money for the first time

and a chance to get a lot more,

this would be a dumb time

to find out who's fastest with a gun -

us or some show-off that might be lucky

even if he weren't good.

- If we don't take care of him, who does?

- There's always some tramp to be hired.

But you always said that

the Danbys fight their own battles.

Maybe I was talkin'

about another branch of the family.

I'm gonna take a little trip tomorrow. You

two behave yourselves while I'm gone.

I don't want nobody to make

no martyr out of this here sheriff.

- What's a martyr?

- I'm sorry.

They didn't use words like that

in the third grade, did they?

- How would I know? I didn't get that far.

- Ah!

You remember when I was stuck

all them years in the second grade.

Shut up!

Sheriff?

Can I talk to you a minute?

Sure, Miss Prudy.

Could... could we sit down?

Sure.

Well...

- How can I be of service, Miss Prudy?

- What?

- How can I be of service?

- What do you mean, service?

I don't mean anything by it.

What do you think I mean?

Look. I'm just a dumb little girl from a hick

town in a jerkwater part of the country.

What?

Nothing. You said

you were dumb little girl...

I know what I said.

I wanted to explain some of those

stupid, silly things you saw me doing.

- What stupid, silly things, Miss Prudy?

- What stupid...?

- How about when I burned my dress off?

- That could happen to anyone.

How about in the mud when I was trying

to defend myself from that... pervert?

That's just one of those things that any

overstimulated girl might get caught into.

How about up in the tree,

half-naked, drippin' wet?

That one could take a little explanation.

Well, it was one of those days

when everything goes wrong.

Actually, every one

of those ridiculous things

has a perfectly simple explanation.

Not that it matters. I just thought

it was dumb to have such an...

attractive man thinking

I was a hopeless loony.

Well, loony maybe, but hopeless...

You...

- You think I'm attractive?

- Well...

I don't think a girl would curl up and die

because you smiled at her.

But, yes, I think you're attractive.

Well, Miss Prudy, I can see

that you're a young lady

who believes in laying

her cards on the table.

- In what?

- Laying your cards on the table.

When a girl does that, I think that a man

should lay his cards on the table too.

Anybody can see that you're

a very pretty and very attractive girl.

Any man in his right mind would be

only too glad to take you out on a picnic

or out for a walk in the evening.

Well, I'd feel privileged to do just that.

However, if you're thinking of anything

more serious, I'm on my way to Australia.

- I'm just passing through here.

- Why, you conceited...

I'm only telling you

that I'm on my way to Australia.

Who cares where you're on your way to?

Any girl who was thinking of a permanent

relationship would be glad to know...

I'm not thinking of entering into...

one of those.

- What's the matter with you?

- You think something is?

Do I think...? There isn't enough time

to tell you how much.

Good night.

- You all right, Miss Prudy?

- Shut up and mind your own business.

- Damn! Damn! Damn!

- Prudy!

You shut up too!

Well, do you see anything?

No. What are we lookin' for?

What are we lookin' for?

Nuggets. Veins. The mother lode.

What's the mother lode?

I'm beginning to get the feeling you know

less about gold-mining than I do.

Of course I don't know about gold-mining.

Why do you think I brought you along?

Everyone around here knows about it.

I don't. I might be able to give you

a few tips about shovelling horse...

working around a stable, but I don't

know nothing about huntin' gold.

- Mind if I put this stuff down?

- No, you better not.

If I know anything about prospecting,

you gotta keep on the move.

Pity.

Well, here.

Let me redistribute the weight for you.

I feel like a jackass.

There, that oughta do it.

- Come on, Jack.

- Jake.

You're a pretty good fisherman, Jake.

- This is more like it, huh?

- More like what?

This is more like the kinda place

I want to go gold-minin' in.

What makes you think

there's any gold here?

What makes you think there isn't?

It don't bother you none that Joe is gonna

be miles away by the time we get back?

Not unless he's learned to travel fast

handcuffed to a potbellied stove.

- What do we do now?

- I think we oughta have lunch,

take a little rest,

and then you start diggin'.

Hey, Jake, how do you think

we oughta split whatever we find?

60-40?

60 for who and 40 for who?

There, you see?

See what gold does to men?

We haven't even found anything

and already we're arguing.

60 for who and 40 for who?

I just wish you could see

the greed in your face.

What you mean is 60 for you

and 40 for me.

Well, thank you, Jake.

That's very generous of you.

Hey, Jake.

Jake, what did you do

before you became my deputy?

I did odd jobs.

Like what?

I was a whore-holder

at Madame Horse's...

A horse-holder at Madame Orr's house.

- You were a what?

- Horse-holder.

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