Surfer, Dude Page #4

Whoa. Whoa whoa whoa, dude.

Wait a minute, man.

I'm seriously about to pound you.

Man, do you understand that?

Are you gonna turn

my travel card back on

- or what?

- Okay. Whoa whoa.

Mama! Here we go!

Here we go.

This is the anger

I've been looking for.

This is the big-wave passion

I need for the show.

Huh? Oh, it's beautiful.

It's beautiful, anger.

Am I right?

Yeah, fantastic anger.

Really good stuff.

- What the f***?

- You're gonna love this.

- Roll the tape.

- I'll tell you something else:

Surfing's lame, dude.

- Surfers... they're ass-clowns.

- Enjoy.

And I'm not feeling it.

Not into it.

Into video games,

reality TV.

Lying cocksucker fascist

bastard a**hole

- son of a crooked f***.

- They're ass-clowns.

I'm gonna kill him!

And I'm not feeling it.

Not into it.

Into video games...

Eddie:

Oh my God.

Oh, baby,

the magic of montage.

How was that for a moment, huh?

You cannot do this,

- you unethical, unprincipled...

- Careful.

...scumbag a**hole.

- Fired.

- No sh*t.

Those with the gold

make the rules, sweetpea.

- Remember that.

...surfing's lame...

Cut to three here.

I want to see it.

Man:

Going to three.

- Eddie:
Hello, Steven.

...not feeling it.

Jack?

Man:
Hey, we got some Free Surfer

hoodies for you at the end of the hall there,

if you're getting cold.

...video games and reality TV.

Man:

Look, it's King Sh*t.

...surfing's lame.

Whuh-oh!

It's macho man.

You got cajones, papi.

- Here we go.

- Addington,

this has got to stop.

- You're sort of stalking me.

- What?

You messing around

with my b*tch, mamao?

Nothing happened.

Believe me, he tried.

Hi, East Coast,

you seen Jack?

Whoa whoa whoa!

Lupe:

Yeah, baby!

Coo!

That's the one-hitter quitter, papi.

How you like that?

Good night, Steven.

Addington? Steve?

I can't believe this is happening.

This is so great.

Please, I feel awful.

- Jack?

- He's with the police.

He threw a brick

at Zarno's car.

His car?

He threw it at Zarno.

A brick?

And a bottle.

They took him to jail.

- Addington?

- Danni?

Steve Addington just said

your name with his dying breath.

This is so romantic.

It's like a Jane Austen novel.

Hey.

Man:

Welcome to Breakline.

To check for surf, press one.

Those breaks are flat flat flat

and flat.

- Hey.

- Oh.

Ah, hi.

Um, good morning.

Excuse me, who are you?

I'm Stacey.

- Right.

- You're in my apartment...

me and Danni's.

Oh.

Hey, Stacey, did...

did we...

Oh, um, yeah... no.

But you're up now.

Juice?

No.

Thank you, though.

- Muffin?

- I'm fasting.

No.

Hey, Luanne.

Why are those dudes driving off

with Jack's mowers?

We have many lawns

but no one to push them.

I don't know what else to do.

Business is bad.

We need the money.

I have to go, Addington.

I have to visit Jack

in jail now.

Oh, it's all right, baby.

Oh, Jack.

That's f***ing Steve Addington

right there, man.

That long-haired hippie

was talking sh*t on YouTube.

Throw your f***ing

burrito at him.

Eat that, ass-clown.

Boy:

Enjoy the breakfast!

Hello?

Hello?

It's Danni.

Hello?

Steve?

You okay?

Quick,

don't just do something;

stand there.

What?

I'm waiting.

but I'm trying not

to even do that.

What is that, like,

Zen or something?

It's whatever waiting

without waiting is.

What are you waiting for?

Waves.

Well, I'm sorry, Steve...

- but, you know, I was just

listening to the radio

and they said there isn't gonna be

a rideable wave

on the California coast

for days, at least.

South, maybe, in Mexico.

Mexico.

- You got wheels?

- Um, do... do...

Uh, I got Stacey's...

Stacey's truck.

Yeah yeah yeah.

I know a cat.

If it's breaking in Baja,

it's breaking at Greenbough's.

Go to Mexico!

Mexico!

Ahem.

Danni:

Can I just say something?

I feel I need to apologize

for what happened with Zarno

and my footage.

I did not...

No, I know, I know.

It's cool.

You don't want an explanation?

I didn't say what

they had me saying,

so I don't need that

explained to me.

Check that glovebox.

Go on.

Yeah.

Man:
Mr. Zarno,

there are three guys at the gate

looking for Addington.

I think they're friends of his.

- Shall I let them in?

- Yes.

Are you kidding me?

Yes, let them in, definitely.

And ask them

where the f*** is Addington?

Lupe:

Of course, ladies, you can lick Lupe.

Anytime... Oh, mira!

The three mamaos.

Yeah, let them in.

It's okay.

Ladies, continue licking.

Don't stop.

Ahhhh!

- Ahhh!

- Oh!

Hi.

You scared me.

Best to breathe, then... deeply.

There's nothing

we can do for him, Chip.

The transplant didn't take.

We're lifeguards, not lawyers.

Hello?

- Hi.

- Where's my truck?

I am so sorry.

I took it to Mexico

with Steve Addington.

- Stacey?

- You disgusting slut!

Okay, um, I can't really

talk right now,

but I will be back

as soon as I can.

I promise.

Is that okay?

Not without details, it isn't.

And I mean right now.

- I gotta go.

- No no no no no no...

No!

Americano?

What you do in tree?

Looking for waves, buddy.

Waves are in ocean,

not tree.

No, waves are not

in ocean, buddy...

so I'm in tree.

Hey, americano,

We make big crazy fire.

Look at him...

it would break my heart

if he didn't look so pathetic.

When he was yea high,

he'd hitch rides down

from Topanga,

watching us surf

till the last wave.

His mom left him up there

with some far-out folks

who let him grow up outside,

follow what he loved.

- And he loved to surf.

- Boy:
Is crazy.

Like it answered all his questions.

Americano?

Until now.

So there's never been

a drought like this before?

Nah... not for him.

Boy:

No! No no no no...

So how come you're not

going crazy then?

I mean, you're a surfer too.

I fish.

Add's got nothing but waves.

Whoa!

Qu pas? Are you okay?

I think I put

too much gas on it.

Mi corazon's...

it's muy heavy.

I know, amigo.

I know.

Boy:

Americano, no hay nada all!

There is nothing there!

- Yes, a huge show.

- Man:
Right.

- A hit show; it'll go through the roof.

- Yes, I know...

- Huge ad buy...

- Eddie, I know, I know!

Listen, where is this guy,

Steve Addington?

Addington?

Yeah, Addington!

Listen, Simons says...

- Yeah.

...you promised him Addington.

He's seeing La Rosa on the tape.

He's not seeing Addington.

Listen, I will have Steve Addington

under control very soon.

Under control!

What the f*** does that mean?

Man:

Dressed from head to foot

in black.

# Break it up, wind it up,

one, two, three #

# Now you're ready

to roll with me... #

Hurry up, Brillo.

Guapa, mi gente, huh?

F*** if you're cutting, La Rosa.

Yeah, "da da da da da da da!"

Don't think so, "papi."

Pero, amigos,

we're friends, right?

Familia?

How is he?

Not very good.

He hasn't eaten anything

and he's pacing.

Pacing? That's bad.

- This was good.

- What's that?

Well...

this is a big, f***ing monster bud.

That's what it is.

Hey, Add?

Yeah?

I scored this for you, son.

Sweet.

Let's thread up some

morning earth and burn.

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