Swearnet: The Movie

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You clip it, point,

and straight up,

You stupid quiff.

It was straight up,

you fuckhead,

Just like my cock

for your slutty mom.

Holy f***,

it's the trailer park boys!

Are you guys gonna get the show

goin' again this year?

No, actually, we have two brand

new shows we're shootin'.

Well, hopefully.

Oh, you f***in' sharp

little f***in' slut!

F*** you!

I see anger management's

workin' like a charm, Smith.

I quit f***in'

anger management!

Actually,

that f***in' counsellor

Was makin' me nuts,

that cocksucker!

Hey, boys, how you doin'?

Hey, Johnny,

how's it goin'?

- Hey, Johnny.

- Oh, it's great to see ya.

Hey, Johnny,

how you doin', man?

Oh, man, it's great to have

you on the show.

The fans are still

so fascinated

With "trailer park boys",

you have no idea!

We're here to talk

about new sh*t.

Yeah, right.

They're swoopin' in.

They're comin' for you,

bubbles.

John...

hey, do the voice, bubbles,

do the voice!

You're not

Jim Lahey anymore.

Yeah, I know,

I'm just f***in' with you.

Come on, boys,

We're gonna talk

about all your new sh*t.

All right, let's just get

this goin', John.

Robb and I are gonna

hit the racetrack

First thing in the morning,

okay?

Oh, yeah, right, um...

look, I read the story

about you and your old man.

Sorry for your loss, JP.

Yeah, it f***in' sucks,

you know.

He was trying to hang

on long enough

To do one more rally with me,

and he just couldn't make it.

Cancer can go f*** itself,

bud.

Oh, uh, hey, Robb,

Do you mind

if I tell everyone

That you're workin'

for a cigarette company?

The fan's will love

the Ricky connection.

John, we can't f***in' talk

about "trailer park boys".

We're not allowed.

No "trail park boys"

sh*t on the air.

Hey, no problem.

Welcome to "on the rocks"!

I'm your host,

John Dunsworth.

Today we have some

very special guests

Who need no introduction.

Mike Smith, John Paul Tremblay,

Robb Wells!

Ricky, Julian and bubbles

from the "trailer park boys"!

The f*** are you-?

We just f***in' talked

about this.

I know, I know,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Listen, I hear you guys are

workin' on some new projects.

I hear they're great.

Well, that's what we're here

to talk about.

We're really excited

to be movin' on,

Doin' something different.

It's great.

The big question

on everyone's mind,

Including mine, is, uh,

Do you think we'll ever

do any more episodes

Of the "trailer park boys"?

- Holy, f***.

- F*** this.

F*** this, John!

Hey, hey, Mike,

have a sense of humour. Ricky?

We can't do this. We're not

allowed. We said that.

Hey, hey, Ricky!

- Nice goin', John.

- Yeah.

F***in' tree!

Faster, faster, faster!

Oh, come on, son,

yeah, just like that!

Yes, faster, faster!

Oh, yeah, oh, f*** yeah,

John Paul, nice drivin'!

I think I'm gonna blow

a big load

All over your chest, son!

You're doin' great!

Robb, Robb, don't make my dad

jerk himself off.

It's disrespectful.

Oh my god, it's just a doll,

you f***in' fruit.

It's not just a doll.

My dad's ashes

are in that thing!

What?

Yeah.

Why didn't you tell me that,

man,

Before I started

jerkin' him off?

Oh, I'm gonna tell ya I put my

dad's f***in' ashes in a doll?

Sorry, Mr. Tremblay,

you were an incredible racer.

I didn't mean to Jack

your beautiful cock.

- That's enough!

- Punch it!

- Go, Robb, go! Go!

- Oh yeah!

Are these guys ever

gonna grow up?

- Oh, I hope not!

- Go, baby, go!

Nice runnin', baby!

You shave off

11 seconds of time!

F***in' women!

Oh my god,

that was so much fun!

Daddy's gonna kick some ass

next week, you little alien!

- Oh...

- Baby.

Thanks for lettin' me do this,

babe, you're f***in' awesome.

Oh, are you sure you have

to go to that meeting,

'Cause I want this

inside of me right now.

Oh, Jesus,

you're makin' me hard.

- I f***in' love you.

- Oh, I love you more.

Hey, that's not nice.

Okay, okay, okay,

I love you same then!

I need you to run

some errands.

You can pick up that paint

I ordered on your way home.

- Sure.

- Gotta go, bud.

- Let's move it!

- Gonna be late!

I love you?!

Sorry, I love you too.

- Give me those lips.

- Oh, the paint!

Dad's in the car, okay?

Oh, don't worry!

I'll take care of him!

F***, I love you!

Oh, it's so exciting!

The three boys on the TV again!

Oh my goodness!

I just wish Mike

wasn't involved.

He's such a f***in' idiot.

What do you mean?

They're on the same team,

Julie!

Didn't she just paint

the entire f***in' house

Like a month ago?

Yup, she's bored with

the colours, man.

You know what

women are like.

No, man,

that's insane.

It was only 1200 bucks.

1200 bucks?!

Jesus Christ, man!

You're making that much money

selling half-Sized cigarettes?

F***!

Well, it'll keep her distracted

while we're racin' next week.

Yeah, thanks for fillin'

in for the old man, bud.

F***, man, of course.

Sorry again for making

your dad Jack himself off

And say he was gonna blow loads

all over your tits.

I didn't know it was

actually him inside.

Ah, it's cool, man.

I shoulda told ya.

Yeah, you should have.

Oh my f***!

Is that Smith gettin' loaded

into an ambulance?!

Nope, that's conforti.

I told you that was too much

you stupid f*** splint!

- I can fly!

- I can f***in' fly!

You can't f***in' fly!

Call me later when

you come down.

It's gonna be a f***in'

crazy one tonight, man.

What's up you p*ssy whipped

shitblasters? Ah!

Jesus Christ, Smith,

what the f*** happened?!

Party got a little outta hand,

nothin' major, baby.

Did you forget about this

morning there, moose clit?

I'm f***in' 100 percent, boys,

ready to f***in' rock.

I thought you said you weren't

gonna have a crazy night.

It wasn't that crazy

of a f***in' night, man.

Mike! Mike!

We can't get the whiskey bottle

out of Patrick's ass

And he's freakin' out!

It's right up in his ass!

It's really f***in' up there.

We should really call

an ambulance.

No, we're not callin' any more

f***in' ambulances!

Jesus Christ!

Pat drove the f***ing

thing up there,

He can get it out himself!

I'm sorry.

No more ambulances,

my little tits out cookoo bird.

Ah, right on, Robbie boy!

F*** off, Smith.

Half the length,

twice the flavour,

Just like your cock.

Would you get

in the f***in' van?

We're late! Come on!

You've got serious,

serious f***in' problems.

Keep this party goin'!

Boys, I f***ed every

one of them.

What are you up to now, Smith,

30 nights in a row?

No f***in' idea, bud.

So pat's driving liquor bottles

up his ass again, is he?

Yeah, except he's upgraded

to 40-Ouncers now.

Man, you can't be crashin'

at pat's house forever.

One of you guys

is gonna f***in' die.

I don't have the money to afford

a f***in' place, fucktits,

Liquor's expensive, man.

I thought you were gonna

chill out for a bit?

I have!

F***, I was celebratin',

ya locked up god damn nerds,

You should try it sometime.

No, you should try taking

"Goin' to f***in' meet

the network

To find out what our fate is"

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