Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street Page #2

Rest now, my friends.

- Never you fear, Mr. Todd,

Soon I'll unfold you.

- you can move in here, Mr. Todd.

Soon you'll know splendors you

never have dreamed all your days...

will be yours.

- My lucky friends.

I'm your friend too.

- Till now your shine

I think they shine beautiful.

- was merely silver.

Silver's good enough for me, Mr. Todd.

- Friends,

you shall drip rubies,

You'll soon drip precious rubies...

Leave me...

At last my arm is complete again.

Green finch and linnet bird,

nightingale, blackbird,

how is it you sing?

How can you jubilate,

sitting in cages,

never taking wing?

Outside the sky waits,

beckoning, beckoning,

just beyond the bars.

How can you remain,

staring at the rain,

maddened by the stars?

How is it you sing

anything?

How is it you sing?

My cage has many rooms,

damask and dark.

Nothing there sings,

not even my lark.

Larks never will, you know,

when they're captive.

Teach me to be more adaptive.

Green finch and linnet bird,

nightingale, blackbird,

Teach me how to sing.

If I cannot fly,

let me sing.

Alms!... Alms!...

For a miserable woman

on a miserable chilly morning...

Thank you, sir, thank you.

Maam, could tell me whose house this is?

Thats the great Judge Turpins house,

that is.

And the young lady who resides there?

Thats Johanna, his pretty little ward.

Keeps her snug, he does, all locked up...

So dont you go trespassing there

or its a good whipping for you

or any other young man with

mischief on his mind...

Alms!... Alms!...

For a desperate woman...

I feel you, Johanna.

I feel you.

I was half convinced I'd waken,

Satisfied enough to dream you.

Happily I was mistaken, Johanna!

I'll steal you, Johanna.

I'll steal you...

Come in, lad. Come in...

...you were looking for

Hyde Park, you say?

Yes, it's terribly large on the map

but I keep getting lost...

Sit down, lad, sit down.

It's embarrassing for a

sailor to lose his bearings,

but, well, there you are.

A sailor, eh?

Yes, sir. The "Bountiful" out of Plymouth.

A sailor must know the ways of the world, yes?

Must be practiced in the ways of the world...

Would you say you are practiced, boy?

Sir?

Oh, yes... such practices...

the geishas of Japan...

the concubines of Siam, the catamites

of Greece, the harlots of India...

I have them all here...

Drawings of them.

All the vile things you've done with your whores.

Would you like to see?

I think there's been some mistake-

Oh, I think not.

You gandered at my ward, Johanna.

You gandered at her.

Yes, sir, you gandered.

I meant no harm-

Your meaning is immaterial.

Mark me:
if I see your

face again on this street,

you'll rue the day you were born.

Hyde Park is that way, young sir...

A right and then a left,

then straight on, you see?

...Over there.

You heard Judge Turpin, little man.

Next time it'll be your pretty

brains all over the pavement.

I'll steal you, Johanna.

I'll steal you!

Do they think that walls can hide you?

Even now I'm at your window.

I am in the dark beside you,

buried sweetly in your yellow hair.

I feel you, Johanna,

and one day I'll steal you.

Till I'm with you then,

I'm with you there,

sweetly buried in your yellow hair...

He's here every Thursday.

Italian. All the rage he is.

Ladies and gentlemen!

May I have your attention, please?

Do you wake every morning in shame and despair

to discover your pillow is covered with hair

wot ought not to be there?

Well, ladies and gentlemen,

from now on you can waken at ease.

You need never again

have a worry or care,

I will show you a

miracle marvelous rare,

Gentlemen, you are about to see something

rot rose from the dead!

On the top of my head.

'Twas Pirelli's Miracle Elixir,

That's wot did the trick, sir,

True, sir, true.

Was it quick, sir?

Did it in a tick, sir?

Just like an elixir ought to do!

How about a bottle, mister?

Only costs a penny, guaranteed.

Does Pirelli's stimulate

the growth, sir?

You can have my oath, sir,

'Tis unique.

Rub a minute,

Stimulatin', i'n it?

Soon you'll have to thin it once a week!

Pardon me, ma'am, what's that awful stench?

- Are we standing near an open trench?

- Must be standing near an open trench!

Buy Pirelli's Miracle Elixir:

Anything wot's slick,

sir, soon sprouts curls.

Try Pirelli's!

When they see how thick, sir,

you can have your

pick, sir, of the girls!

Want to buy a bottle, missus?

What is this?

- What is this?

Smells like piss.

- Smells like - phew!

Looks like piss.

This is piss.

Piss with ink.

Let Pirelli's activate your roots, sir-

Keep it off your boots, sir-

Eats right through.

Yes, get Pirellis! Usable in all ways.

Ladies seem to love it-

Flies do too!

I am Adolfo Pirelli,

Da king of da barbers, da barber of kings,

E buon giorno, good day,

I blow you a kiss!

And I, da so-famous Pirelli,

I wish-a to know-a

Who has-a da nerve-a to say

My elixir is piss!

Who says this?!

I do.

I am Mr. Sweeney Todd of Fleet Street.

I have opened a bottle of Pirelli's elixir,

and I say to you that it is

nothing but an arrant fraud, concocted

from piss and ink.

And furthermore, "signor" -

I have serviced no kings, yet

I wager I can shave a cheek

with ten times more dexterity

that any street mountebank.

You see these razors?

I lay them against five

pounds you are no match, sir.

Either accept my challenge

or reveal yourself as a sham.

You hear zis foolish man?

Now, please, you will see

how he will regret his folly!

Toby!

Who's for a free shave?

Will Beadle Bamford be the judge?

Glad, as always, to oblige

my friends and neighbors.

Ready?

Ready!

Ready.

The fastest, smoothest

shave is the winner.

Now, signorini, signori,

We mix-a da lather

But first-a you gather around,

signorini, signori,

you looking a man who have had-a

da glory to shave-a da Pope.

Mr.

Sweeney-so-smart-

Oh, I beg-a you pardon - 'll call

me a lie, was-a only a cardinal-

Nope!

It was-a da Pope!

To shave-a da face,

To cut-a da hair,

Require da grace

Require da flair,

For if-a you slip,

You nick da skin,

You clip-a da chin, You rip-a

da lip a bit Beyond-a repair!

To shave-a da face Or even a part

Without it-a smart Require da heart.

Not just-a da flash, it take-a panache,

it take-a da passion for da art.

To shave-a da face,

To trim-a da beard,

To make-a da bristle

clean like a whistle,

Dis is from early infancy

da talent give to me by God!

It take-a da skill,

It take-a da brains,

It take-a da will

to take-a da pains,

It take-a da pace,

it take-a da graaaaaace...

The winner is Todd.

Sir, I bow to a skill far

greater than my own.

The five pounds.

May the good Lord smile on you...

until we meet again.

Come, boy.

Suppose it's just me gentle heart, but

I do hate to see a boy treated like that.

Congratulations, Mr. Todd.

May I ask you, sir, do you have

an own establishment?

He certainly does.

Sweeney Todd's Tonsorial Parlor -

above my meat pie emporium in Fleet Street.

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