Sweet Charity Page #6

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Oh, it's moving!

Well, of course,

your big problem is panic.

Seventy-eight percent of your

common household accidents...

could be avoided

by calm, clearheaded thinking.

Well.

See ya around.

Around.

Ah, miss?

Miss, what, uh...

Do... Do you

suppose we could...

Well, you know, uh, uh... Do

you think that maybe that...

That I don't suppose

that we could...

I know you're tryin' to ask me for

somethin', but ya gotta give me a bigger hint.

Well, can I see ya

this Sunday?

Aren't ya late

for work or somethin'?

Well, I was supposed to go to, to

group analysis, but I guess I missed it.

You gonna be all right? Oh, yes. It

was my last session this week anyway.

I'm finished.

Good.

What was your problem? Well,

one of my problems was that...

I was painfully shy.

Oh. And now

you're cured?

No, I... I never had the nerve

to bring it up, so I quit.

I guess you're

busy Sunday.

Look, can I ask you

a personal question?

You're not otherwise

affiliated, are ya?

Like a wife? Oh, no! No,

no, nothing like that.

Are you busy Sunday?

No.

Oh, well, uh,

where do you live?

Maybe you prefer

to meet me somewhere.

Are you familiar with that

little bridge in Central Park?

Yeah, well, maybe we better

forget the whole thing.

Please, 2:
00, Sunday?

L- If you're not there,

I'll understand.

I'll be there anyway.

I've got nothing else to do.

I must be out of my head.

What am I doin' here?

Mmm-uh.

Charity!

I'm glad you

could make it.

I thought after what happened in

the elevator you might think I was...

Well, you know,

some kind of a nut.

Oh!

I almost forgot.

Here. I grow them myself

in my apartment.

Do you mind if we get off

this bridge? Oh, sure, sure.

Listen, I've made all kinds of

plans for today. I thought maybe...

Mmm-hmm. Here it comes:

The "I must have left my wallet

in my other pants" routine.

Well, forget it, Charlie.

You ain't gettin' a nickel outta me.

Do you like modern art?

I have several really fine

reproductions at home.

Do you know where

I'd like to take you now?

Yeah, to your place,

to look at your reproductions.

Boy, if Nickie and Helene

could see me now.

Who are Nickie and Helene?

Two of the girls I work with.

I've been so busy talking I haven't

given you a chance to say anything.

Where do you work?

Well...

Nope, wait, let me guess,

because usually I can just look...

at a person and tell you

right off what they do.

I'd say you definitely

work... in a bank.

Am I right?

Did I get it?

You got it.

Well, you see, it's, it's kind

of a sixth sense. Which bank?

You familiar with Brooklyn? No.

It's in Brooklyn.

You want a stick of gum?

No, thank you.

See, I, I...

Working in a bank can be

very dangerous, you know?

In the greater New York area the odds

are 1 in 75 that you will be held up...

at least once

in any 12-month period.

Listen, just livin'

is dangerous, right?

May I see you home?

Where do you live in Brooklyn?

Oh, it's...

it's way far out.

And it's late.

You got to get up early.

I'll be okay.

Honest.

Uh, listen. May I see you tomorrow?

Maybe we could go to a movie.

Okay, but one with a happy ending.

I'm nuts about happy endings.

Good! I'll pick ya up at 5:00

in front of the bank, okay?

Suppose we, uh, meet...

At the bridge.

Night.

Good night.

Oh, look, I want you to know

I had a very nice time.

Being with you, I mean. So did I, Oscar.

A very nice time.

I had a very nice time too.

Well.

Well.

You're a lovely girl,

Charity.

Sweet Charity.

Gee, for a weirdo,

he's very nice.

Oh! I just live

around the corner.

"Sweet Charity. "

Sweet Charity?

Hmm, Sweet Charity.

Hey, Nickie, Helene,

guess what happened?

Something every girl

in the ballroom dreams about!

You've been drafted!

No, I met a man,

a nice man.

Here it is, folks, the 11:00

news. We listen to it every night.

Can you imagine, I spent

the whole afternoon with him...

and he never once tried

any funny business, not once.

All he did was kiss my hand.

Hey, that's not makin' a pass, is it?

Naw. Is it, Helene?

What?

If a guy kisses your hand, would

you classify that as a pass?

Depends.

On what?

On where your hand is

when he kisses it.

Ha, ha! Hey,

where was your hand?

On the end of my arm!

Okay, so besides slobbering all over

your knuckles, what else does he do?

He's a reactionary.

A what?

He figures out odds.

A horse player.

No! For an insurance company.

And he also grows flowers.

Sounds like a goofball.

He is not a goofball.

What does the goofball

think of your profession?

Have you told him you're in

the rent-a-body business?

Well, it just so happens

he doesn't think anything of it.

She ain't told him.

He is very highly educated. A little

thing like that wouldn't bother him.

He already knows

because I already told him.

You told him?

Yep.

- You mean you really told him?

- I told him! I told him!

- When?

- Tomorrow, that's when I told him.

Do you like peanuts?

Yep.

For our anniversary.

Huh?

It's exactly two weeks since we were trapped

together between the ninth and tenth floor.

Boy, what a two weeks

this has been too.

We've been to six movies, four museums,

a lecture on air pollution and a pet show.

I'd like to do something

different tonight.

You want to rob

a supermarket?

Would you like to go

to church? To church?

It's the Rhythm of Life Tabernacle.

It started out as a jazz group in San

Francisco and turned into a religion.

Hey, baby, like,

let there be light.

Lights! Lights!

Lights!

Oh, yeah!

Lights!

Get it! Get it!

Ow!

Ow!

Let there be light!

Ow!

And the title of the sermon

tonight will be...

"We Have Beat Our Swords Into

Plowshares" and the beat goes on.

Swing it, Daddy!

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Daddy started out

in San Francisco

Tootin' on his trumpet

loud and mean

Suddenly a voice said

Go forth, Daddy

Spread the picture

on a wider screen

And the voice said Daddy,

there's a million pigeons

Waitin' to be hooked

on new religions

Hit the road, Daddy

leave your common-law wife

Spread the religion

of the rhythm of life

And the rhythm of life

is a powerful beat

Puts a tingle in your fingers

and a tingle in your feet

Rhythm in your bedroom

rhythm in the street

Yes, the rhythm of life

is a powerful beat

To feel

the rhythm of life

To feel

the powerful beat

To feel the tingle

in your fingers

To feel the tingle

in your feet

Daddy, go

Go, go, go

Tell them everything

you know

Daddy spread the gospel

in Milwaukee

Took his walkie-talkie

to Rocky Ridge

Blew his way to Canton

then to Scranton

'Til he landed

under the Manhattan Bridge

Daddy was a new sensation

got himself a congregation

Built up quite

an operation down below

With the pie-eyed piper blowing

while the muscatel was flowing

All the cats were

go-go-going Down below

Daddy was

a new sensation

Got himself

a congregation

Built up quite

an operation down below

With the pie-eyed piper blowing

while the muscatel was flowing

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