Sweet Charity Page #8

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This is not

a nice place!

Charity?

Hey, Charity, listen...

Hey, baby?

Charity?

Hey!

I'm up here.

Boy, oh, boy, am I tired of that

musical snake pit down there.

What's so bad about it?

You dance a little,

talk a little, roll your eyes a

little, swivel your hips a little.

Just like that

you can kill a lifetime.

How are things going

with the goofball?

Who? You know, the hand kisser.

Him? Who needs him? I don't

need him. I don't need anybody.

If I needed anybody, it sure

wouldn't be him. She's nuts about him.

It's no good.

He thinks I work in a bank.

So? Let him!

He trusts me;

he believes in me.

I gotta tell him the truth.

Who I am, what I do, all of it.

That much truth

ain't good for nobody.

I should have told him

before, but...

Oh, he's just the nicest thing

that ever happened to me.

I wanted it to last

as long as it could.

Let me get this straight. You're

gonna tell him you lied to him?

You're gonna tell him you've been

working in this dump for eight years?

Yep.

You're gonna tell about Frank

and Charlie and... Yep, yep.

Oh, Charity,

I gotta hand it to you.

You are an extremely honest,

open and stupid broad.

Yep.

Charity, what...

Sit down, Oscar.

Aren't you going

to sit with me?

I have some very important

things to say to you and...

if I have to look in your eyes,

I'll never be able to say them.

You alone, miss?

She's with me.

Charity, I was asleep when you

called. I'm still in my pajamas. Look.

Don't look at me!

Oscar...

I don't now, I never have...

and I probably

never, ever will...

work in a bank.

Oh.

I don't even have

a bank account anymore.

Whatever money I do have, I keep in

an empty jar of instant coffee. Oh.

You know how I earn that money,

Oscar? You're a dance hall hostess.

I'm a dance hall hostess.

I work in a cheap dance hall.

And I dance

with strange men...

and I drink with them

and sometimes...

sometimes...

Hey, how did you know?

When you left me in the phone

booth, I ran outside looking for you.

I saw someone. I thought it

was you and I followed her.

She went into

that... that place.

Then I knew it wasn't you.

Except I saw the photographs

outside, and it was you.

I didn't go in.

I couldn't.

I went home.

I tried to hate you,

Charity.

I tried very hard.

But I couldn't.

I just couldn't hate you.

Maybe you'll have better luck tonight

when I get finished telling you the rest.

It's not important.

"Not important"?

What do you mean, not important?

What about all those things you said?

Look, Charity...

Don't look at me!

Charity, I know what I said.

But I just can't let you get

away. You have to marry me.

Oscar, I've gotta

tell you everything!

I don't care what you are or what

you've done. If you only knew.

If you only knew,

all those guys.

All those guys that...

Charity, don't cry. Please,

don't cry. I believe you.

I know you believe me! I'm

crying about that other part!

What other part? That marrying part!

I didn't hear it the first time!

Excuse me, sport.

Marry me?

Oscar!

You're not just makin' fun

of me, are ya?

Because askin' a girl to marry her

is one of her most sensitive areas.

You really shouldn't say it

if you don't mean it.

I mean, you can seriously hurt a

person kiddin' around like that.

To tell you the truth,

Oscar,

I don't think I could stand

another injury of that nature.

You know, for the first time,

I'm happy.

I mean, really happy inside!

And it's all because of you!

Oh!

Don't look at me!

I can get pretty

emotional too, you know.

Give me your hand.

Charity, you know what we're gonna

do? We're gonna get out of this city.

Oh, I'd like that.

We'll move to the country.

I'd like that.

New Jersey maybe!

We'll open a nursery and greenhouse,

grow flowers. You'd like that.

The important thing is to forget

about the past. I've forgot it.

It's not important. It's

not important. It isn't.

We won't discuss it anymore. We won't even

think about it, especially not think about it.

We won't think about it. A lot of

men couldn't do that, but not me.

Not you. I'll never mention

it again as long as I live.

I'd like that.

Because I need you,

Charity.

I need you...

and I love you.

Besides, it's about time

I got married anyway.

I'm 34 years old.

He loves... me. Did you

know that the odds are 785...

Someone loves me.

Someone loves me!

Some... one... loves... me!

Some... one... loves... me!

Some... one... loves... me!

Somebody loves me

My heart

is beating so fast

All kinds of music

is pouring out of me

Somebody loves me

At last

Now

I'm a brass band

I'm a harpsichord

I'm a clarinet

I'm the Philadelphia

orchestra

I'm the modern

jazz quartet

I'm the band

from Macy's big parade

A wild Count Basie blast

I'm the bells of

St. Peter's in Rome

I'm tissue paper

on a comb

And all kinds of music

Is pouring out of me

'Cause somebody

loves me at last

Somebody loves me

She's a brass band

She's a harpsichord

She's a clarinet

She's the Philadelphia

orchestra

The modern jazz quartet

She's a brass band

She's a harpsichord

She's a clarinet

That's me!

She's the Philadelphia

orchestra

She's the modern

jazz quartet

She's the band

from Macy's big parade

A wild Count Basie blast

She's the bells

of St. Peter's in Rome

She's tissue paper

on a comb

Somebody loves me

At last!

Oh, look, you don't

have to come in.

No, it's all right.

It's all right.

I'll just be a few minutes.

I'm fine, just fine.

Hmm. Hey,

anybody in there?

Oh, it's you.

Herman, what's goin' on?

How come you're closed?

Business stinks.

I sent everybody home.

Aw, but I called Nickie and Helene

and I told 'em I was comin' by...

Hey, you heard the news.

I'm tyin' the knot.

I'm gettin' spliced!

I'm gettin' hitched!

Oh, yeah, I heard.

Look.

This is him.

This is the one.

Oscar Lindquist, this is Herman,

affectionately known as der Fuhrer.

How do you do? Right.

Well, I got work to do.

Wait, wait. I got to get

some things out of my locker.

Okay, but don't take

none of the hangers.

Every time a girl leaves here,

she always takes all the hangers.

He's kind of gruff on the outside, but

inside he's really a very rotten person.

Herman, would ya turn on a light?

You should know the way by now.

Eight years of your life

you spend in a place...

and nobody even cares enough

to turn on a light.

Surprise!

We really fooled ya,

huh?

You didn't think we'd let ya get

away without givin' ya a party?

You shouldn't have! I

told ya we shouldn't have!

Everybody, everybody,

that's him! That's the one!

This is

Mr. Oscar Lindquist!

This here, Oscar, is Nickie and Helene.

Remember I told you so much about 'em?

How do you...

All right, folks!

And now through the courtesy of the

hostesses here at the Fandango Ballroom,

in cooperation

with the waiters,

Chet, the bouncer,

Irving, the cop,

And our three regular

customers since 1949,

We present...

A $17 cake!

"Happy Birthday, Angelo"?

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