Sweet Hearts Dance

He did the monster mash

- It was a graveyard smash

- He did the mash

Jimmy Hill is dressing up

as a box drink...

with a straw and everything.

Kenny goes down the straw,

and there's a compartment.

That is kind of dumb.

Can I have a beer, Mom?

May I have a beer, please?

May I have a beer, please?

Absolutely not.

- When are we going to go?

- As soon as your papa gets here.

Where would he go?

Come on, you tickle bunnies.

It's time to go.

Come on. Let's go.

Kyle's not going with us.

Oh, yeah? Why, you don't

want to be with the family?

No, he wants to be

with his friends.

- What for?

- To have fun.

Oh. Well, okay.

Have fun.

Hey.

Be cool.

You people look so great.

Here, my little bee.

Did You get the film?

No. How is my little bumblebee?

- Fine.

- You had the car.

You couldn't get film

in the truck?

Nope.

Come on. Let's go trick-or-treat.

Did I scare you?

I scared you.

Yes, I did.

I scared you. I got you good.

You liked my mask.

- No.

- Okay, trick-or-treat.

Here we come.

Trick-or-treat.

Hello. Well, it's a little rat.

- I'm a mouse.

- Oh, all right.

- There you go.

- Thank you.

- Hello, Mr. Manners.

- Hi.

- Hello, Mr. Manners.

- Hello.

It's Lois Clarent.

Hi. How are you?

I didn't recognize you.

Because I put on weight,

you mean.

No, because you had

the mask on.

How's her dad?

He's in Rittsburgh

for two more weeks...

in case you want to know.

Trick-or-treat.

Happy Halloween.

Hi, Sam.

Here you go.

Yes, there you go.

Don't eat it now.

Rut it back in the bag.

- Who's the pig?

- Oh, Lois Clarent.

Oh? Is that on again?

Sam, she's married.

Wait till you see how beautiful

the brochure for the Caribbean trip is.

Thank you, Wiley.

Look. Holiday Isle.

Oh, isn't that won...

You know, I remember

when Sam's father left the Horses.

They gave us a free week in Boston.

But this... Sam, have you seen this?

Yes. Everybody looks

happy and thin.

There's probably no such place.

Yes, too bad you won't be able

to come and find out.

Should have gotten married.

Lived happily ever after.

- He was too smart.

- Come on, Daddy.

Too bad you going to take

someone you're related to.

Oh, Sam, you could take

your mother.

Hey, Rearne.

You want to go to the Caribbean?

Oh, sure.

Oh, wait.

I got a better idea.

Sam, get this.

Maybe old Lois Clarent's husband

will be out of town.

You could marry her,

go on the trip.

Come back, divorce her.

He'll never know the difference.

What do you think?

- Hi. How you doing?

- Trick-or-treat.

- Hi. How you doing?

- Trick-or-treat.

Come on, Bernie.

Fill them up there.

Okay. Here you go.

Last year we had to go out and buy them

candy after they came to your house.

Trick-or-treat.

Hey!

Hey, come back here!

- Wiley, what are you doing?

- Sh*t.

- Cut through Grady's.

- Can't see a shitting thing.

Wiley, do you realize

you're trying to run down a Fiat?

Yes, let's go.

- Slowing down, aren't you?

- Cramps.

Sam, what are we going to do

if we catch them?

Well, we could have heart attacks

and die. Then they'd feel bad.

Hot wire.

Hey, stop right there!

You boys...

you know that there's

kids out here in the street.

Little kids. My kids!

What are you trying to do,

hurt them, huh?

- Give me the eggs.

- They're for school.

Yes, for what, home ec?

You guys, if I even hear...

- Sam.

- Wiley, let me handle this.

- If I even hear about you guys...

- Sam.

Thanks.

If I hear about you guys misbehaving,

you're going to have me to answer to.

Do I make myself clear?

- Get outta here.

- Sorry, Wiley.

- Kids, huh?

- Yes, well, what are you going to do?

This is a dumb idea, Wiley.

Oh, don't be such a dong.

You ready?

Car's coming.

Ready, set, now!

Oh, sh*t.

Wiley, is that you?

No.

There's been an accident

out at Cavender Bog.

Kyle was driving.

Is he all right?

He's okay, isn't he?

He's all right, goddamn it.

That's what I tried to tell you.

He's fine.

What the hell were those dumb-ass kids

doing down at Cavender Bog?

Joyride, I guess.

Hot-wired the car.

Kyle hot-wired a car?

Where did he learn how to do that?

Oh, great.

You taught him.

I didn't think he'd go

and damn and do it.

Jesus. I'm going to kill him.

Don't overreact, Wiley.

It's just a material possession.

The hell you say.

That's my car.

No, actually, it's Sam's car.

What? It's my...

Wayne, it's my car?

Uh-huh.

The important thing

is that you're all right.

The important thing

is that you're all right.

I don't want you getting sick.

- Wiley, wait.

- Get outta the way.

- Look.

- Kyle.

- He had an excuse.

- Oh, he had an excuse.

Oh, good, I'll hear it. Then, when it

isn't any good, then I'll kill him.

I am going to trick-or-treat

every bone in your body.

- He was just doing what we did.

- Jesus. What did we do?

- We... With Sam's car.

- What?

You stole it,

and then you drowned it.

You've been telling him how you put

the car on the raft since he was two.

Jesus, I didn't mean

that he should do it.

- You did it.

- Sank it, just like your kid!

Do you remember the look on his face

when the back end hit the water?

- Come on, Sam.

- I remember the look on your face.

Yes, sure. Go ahead. Laugh.

Very adult.

He wouldn't talk to me

for two months.

And I was grounded.

Oh, yeah. And I got hurt when I got

in your bedroom window that night.

- Remember that?

- Stop.

Let's get a picture of this.

This is fun.

Oh, damn it.

We don't have any film.

Oh, God, the goddamn film, man.

All I said was that there's...

I heard what you said.

Jesus, you never let up, do you?

You always want to make

a big f***ing deal out of everything.

Maybe that's the only way

you'll ever pay attention.

- You want pictures?

- Yes, I want some pictures.

- You want to take some pictures?

- I'd like to take some pictures.

Here, take some pictures of this,

why don't you, huh?

Maybe that'll make you happy.

Jesus!

Okay, here we are

home furnishings...

linens, ladies' undergarments.

Watch your step there, Eunice.

That a girl.

How soon is all this

scaffolding mess coming down?

Oh, it won't be too long.

Any second now, hopefully.

Listen. Feel free

to look around there.

And if you need anything,

just give a holler.

Watch your step, though.

It's a big day, isn't it?

- What are you doing?

- Marching in the parade.

- Okay?

- Yes, sure.

- Name's Adie Nims.

- Yes, I know. I remember.

So, how are things going

over at the elementary school?

Why? Feeling guilty about not letting

me teach at the big kids' school?

No, I think I'm just curious

as to how things are going.

Oh.

Well, just great.

You could come visit sometime.

Then you would know.

Yes, well, guess I could.

Sh*t.

I told those guys to make

one nice, big pile over here...

so we could haul

all this stuff away.

This is what I get.

The school board wants

the rest of the construction tour...

and they would like

to check the cost report.

How the hell am I supposed to get

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