Sweet Home Alabama Page #5

And you stole my pen!

That's all that matters|to you, isn't it?

Jake...|- The money...

the labels, the shoes...

you're pathetic!

Oh, like you're|goin' places!

Well, I am as soon as I|get my keys out of here.

Oh, no, you don't.|No, you don't, Mel.

Give me my purse!|- You want to kill yourself?

You want to kill yourself,|you do it somewhere else.

At least I'm doin'|somethin' with my life.

So what if you can't|play football anymore?!

Get a new dream!|- Get in the car.

Get in the truck, Mel.|- I did.

All right!

So, I... guess|the date's over, huh?

Do me a favor.

Follow us home.

Earl.

Evening, Jake.

Pearl.

Jake.

My battle's in the day and|runs on into tomorrow morning.

Be still.|I can't fasten this.

If we win, I might stick around|for old Billy's rabbit stew.

If we lose, I'll be home.

Tomorrow, then, sweetie.

Now, listen, Pearl,|you go easy on her.

There.

Oh, we were wondering when|we were gonna see you.

Christ Almighty, Daddy.

How am I gonna explain you|in New York City?

History's history.

No use sweepin' it|under the rug.

Wish me luck.

Go get them Yankees.

People need a passport|to come down here.

Hey, Bryant, where is he?

Come here. Come on, come on.|There you go, there you go.

Look good? Come on!

Bryant, Bryant,|come on! Come on!

What's she doin' here, huh?

I thought you'd be gone.

Bryant, there you go, boy.

I put the money back|in your account.

There you go!

Thanks.

Saves me from bouncin'|a lot of checks.

Can he swim?

Doesn't look like it.

I like what you did, though...|to the house.

Should help it sell quicker.

Are you movin'?

Well... I been spendin' a lot of|my time up around Tuscaloosa, so...

How deep is that water?|- About 8 feet.

Look, Mel...|I signed your papers.

Jake, I never meant to hurt you,|or anybody else, for that matter.

And I just came out|here to say... thank you.

You might want to find yourself|a place out of the way.

You can't just leave!

Sure I can.

You want to come?

Where you goin'?

I want to show you somethin'.

I can't.

Can't or won't?

Both.

The girl I knew|used to be fearless.

The girl you knew|didn't have a life.

Well, I... guess you better|get on with it, then.

Come on, Bryant!

Come on, boy, get in here.

Excuse me, do you know|Bobby Ray Bailey's address?

You don't remember me, do you?|- Oh, I remember you just fine.

You used to steal|catfish from my pond.

Yes, sir. I did that.|I'm sorry.

'Course, on the weekends,...

Bobby Ray goes over to|the Carmichael plantation...

visits with Colonel Murphy...

it being tourist season and all.

Thank you.

Oh, hi!|I'm Melanie Carmi...

Melanie Smooter.

I'm... I'm here|to see Bobby Ray.

If he's alive,|he's out back.

Come on.

They're out here somewhere.|Watch your step.

Bobby Ray?

Melanie?!

Don't move!

Hot damn!

Hold your fire, sir.|I'll be right back.

We weren't aimin' for ya,...

but I doubt I would have|gone to your funeral.

I guess I wouldn't blame you.

Forgotten how beautiful|this place was.

Guess it doesn't take much|to forget a lot of things.

Bobby Ray,|it's not like that.

You know what? I'll tell|you what it's not like.

It's not like Jake's the only|one that you run out on.

I'm so sorry I outed you.

I guess I figured|if I was pointing at you,...

then... nobody would|see through me.

Bobby Ray,|I can't find the fuse!

I should go|before he kills himself.

Bye.

Afternoon.

Can I help you?

Barry Lowenstein,|"New York Post."

Ho-ho, boy,|am I glad to see you.

I'll tell you, it's, uh...

definitely, uh,|another world down here.

Did you say the "Post"?

Yes, I did. I was hoping to get an|interview with you and your family...

maybe, um, a few pictures|if you don't mind?

No.|I mean, uh, yes, I do...

mind.

They're not here.

This is just|as you described it.

It must have been amazing,|huh, growing up here?

Like a fantasy.

Would you mind if I take|a quick look inside?

Actually, I'm on my way out.

I'll come back, then.

Uh, uh, okay,|but just a peek.

This is it...|home sweet home.

How old is this place?

It was built by my, uh,|great-great-great-grandfather,...

Charles Carmichael, in 1853.

Oh, boy, I bet you slid down|this banister a time or two.

And over here we have|the, um...

kitchen, but who hasn't|seen one of those?

Let's start over here.

Now, this is my favorite room.

It was part of the, um,|Underground Railroad.

Why are we whispering?

The whole place is haunted...

by ghosts of, um,|the Civil War soldiers.

Jake!|...buttons.

No wonder we lost the war.

Was that one of 'em?

Melanie?

What are you doin'|in a closet?

Hi. Barry Lowenstein,|"New York Post."

Miss Carmichael is just showing|me around the plantation.

Uh, Mr. Lowenstein is writing|a piece on the family,

you know, since I'm marrying|the mayor's son and all.

I had no idea.|Isn't that something?

Well, a plantation by any|other name is just a farm.

But it does roll off the tongue|a little sweeter, doesn't it?

Well, I do believe Miss Melanie|forgot her manners.

I'm Bobby Ray... her cousin.

Charmed.

See, when the Yankees|marched through Alabama,...

they tried to destroy|our metal-formin' capabilities...

by placin' barrels of powder|underneath the anvils.

Of course,|all that managed to do...

was blow 'em sky-high|for a few seconds.

So... in honor|of that act of stupidity,

we all... we get together to|re-create it for the tourists.

What the hell was that?!

Hey, Grandpa!|This here's Barry!

He's doin' an article|on Melanie's weddin'!

Never heard of her.

Thanks!

Well, aren't you|just a big, fat liar.

Bobby Ray!

Oh, go back to New York.

Hello.

I'm sorry about what I said.

Really sorry.

Melanie, forget it.

She was not sharing.

Okay, y'all, you need|to eat and be quiet.

We're gonna have us|a little visit.

You know, he went up there.

Who?

Jake? When?

About a year after you left.

He doesn't know I know,|but Clinton let it slip once.

Jake was in New York?

He told Clinton he'd never|seen anything like it.

He realized straight off...

he'd need more than|an apology to win you back.

He needed to conquer|the world first.

He's been tryin' ever since.

That's why he kept|sending the papers back.

It's funny|how things don't work out.

It's funny how they do.

Hey, look who I found|hangin' out by the parkin' lot.

Hesitant to join us.

Anybody think of anything in here|that, uh, might bother Bobby Ray?

Uh, Clinton's breath?

You still the same Bobby Ray|from last night?

Last time I checked,|yeah.

Well, then, I'm gonna|buy you a drink.

Well, you're really not|my type, I mean...

Oh, honey, you...|you drink that from the top.

I'm just lookin' to see who|makes this Deep South Glass.

I wonder if you can get it|in New York.

It's beautiful.

Hey, Jake,|Mel would like to know...

where she can find some of|that snooty-faluty glass.

Why ask me?

Oh, I don't know.|Maybe because you're...

You're all spiffed up|and... and all.

Am I missin' somethin'?

Let's show some respect.

When was the last time you|pushed me around the floor?

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