Sweet Talk

God!

Oh, my God.

No restaurant! Hey!

You buy, you take away!

Man, she meaner than your mama.

Man, nobody meaner than my mama.

You got something for under

5 bucks that's not gonna kill me?

Mm.

- So tense.

Very good stuff!

It's, uh, $4.29, plus taxes.

Okay. Very good, very good.

Now, tell me something, huh?

Nice girl like you.

How come you dress like that?

Don't you want a husband?

A husband?

Sh*t...

You marry her?

Marry her?

I wouldn't even f*** her... not

even with your dick.

Hey. Hey!

You'd need a microscope to find

it.

No, no, no. Hey!

Hey, my dick ain't lacking

none in the size department, baby.

Hiya.

Hey, you're late tonight, honey.

Yeah, that's the story of my life.

Well, better late than never, huh?

Dolores.

Those cigarettes are gonna kill

you one day.

You know that, right?

Something's got to.

Oh, God.

See you.

Madame?

Anna?

- Ah!

- Anna Karenina.

- heh!

Oh!

You look ravishing...

this evening, my dear!

Oh.

What could you have in that bag,

My dear?

Nothing.

It's nothing, Professor.

It's domestic.

But not undrinkable!

Am I correct?

Well...

Well, and you're not going to

enjoy it alone!

Please, sit! Please!

Please!

No.

Uh, you are. Here.

Oh...

come on.

Thank you, my dear.

Yeah.

Anna?

Mm?

Don't do anything stupid.

- Leon?

- As you were.

- What do you think, Leon?

Gonna kill me?

"Marlene had a tendency to use

her narcissism as the long end

of the wedge."

Give it your best shot.

Ooh. Oh, so good.

Keep going, baby.

Keep going. That's right.

Oh, yeah. That's the g-spot.

Mmm. Mm-hmm!

Oh, you son of a b*tch!

You big, beautiful son of a b*tch!

Guess who just walked in the door.

Delilah.

You want to say hello?

Mm-hmm.

She's sitting right here,

getting very, very horny just

thinking about you.

Uh-huh. Aren't you, honey?

You still there, baby?

Mm.

Do it, Hank.

Do it hard. Oh, yeah.

That's the spot.

Oh, right there, baby!

Ooh. Keep going!

Oh, right... right there.

Ooh, you be a stud, and you f***

me, baby!

Oh, f*** me! Oh, yeah!

Oh! Don't stop!

Don't stop!

Oh! Harder!

Harder! Oh...

No!

That's the spot right there, baby.

Harder...

Harder...

Don't stop!

Oh, that's the spot!

That's it!

That's it! Right there!

That's how I like it!

- Don't stop!

Oh, yeah!

All right!

Ooh!

Oh.

Hank? You still there, baby?

Oh.

Hank?

Hank.

Hank!

Ugh!

I cannot stand it when they do that.

What do you want them to do...

hold you and say they love you?

Well, they could say goodbye,

for Christ's sake.

That's the least they could do.

Post coitum omne animal

triste est.

Huh?

It means "after sex, men are

sad."

Huh.

You'd think for once, they'd be happy.

Yeah, well, that's why they

always want to roll over and go

to sleep afterwards.

They're deeply depressed.

You were supposed to be here

at midnight, you know.

I know. I'm sorry.

So, there's this guy in my

building, and he's kind of shy

and pudgy and funny-looking,

with hair falling in his eyes.

I bet you he calls places like this.

He's the type.

You know what I mean?

I mean, don't you think about

what they're like, these guys,

when you're talking to them?

No. Never.

I do, especially when I get a

nice-sounding voice on the line...

you know, shy, like this

guy in my building.

I want to tell them to go join a

club or go on Facebook...

Or something!

Or just ask someone!

I mean, maybe someone will say yes!

You never know!

But getting off over the phone

seems... So lonely.

Uh-huh.

What did men do before

telephones, like in the

19th century?

They patronized whores.

Well... We're not whores.

No. That's right. We're not.

We are...

we're fantasy facilitators, and

that's the problem with the

world today, Ginny.

There are no competent whores

out there!

There's... there are no whores

who, you know, they really care

about their work!

But given the state of the

profession, I guess phone sex is...

A better idea.

I'll see you tomorrow!

Mm-hmm. Okay.

And could you try not to be

late, please?

Yes. Right.

7...?

Duffy's tavern, where the elite

meet to eat.

This is George Papandreou.

Mr. Papandreou!

How's it going?

You got a new number!

You're behind on the rent again!

Uh, the rent?

What do you me... the rent?

Oh. Here's what happened.

I got a new bank account, and

they sent me the wrong checks.

I...I asked... I had asked for a

coat of arms.

Did you know my family has a

coat of arms?

Jesus, I'm talking to a f***ing bird.

Ah, f***.

"Sweet talk."

Sweet talk.

Hello. Sweet talk.

Who's this?

This is delilah.

You want to talk?

About what?

Uh, you name it, baby.

Anything.

Anything?

Anything... the hotter, the better.

What about dancing?

Can we dance?

We can do whatever you want to do.

Oh, hey. Come on. Don't be shy.

No one's gonna bite you... Unless

you want to be bitten.

Hello?

Hey.

He-hey, don't hang up.

I'm here.

Okay.

What do I have to do?

What do you have to do?

Well, uh, yeah.

I've never done this before, so

you're gonna have to help

explain how this works.

All right.

That's not a problem.

What's your name?

J...

John.

John.

Okay, John.

Here's how it works.

We can talk about... Anything you

want for as long as you want,

and then...

how much does it cost?

I'm getting to that.

Just want to know what I'm in for.

Okay.

We charge 20 bucks to start out,

and then $2.99 a minute goes

automatically on your

credit card.

Unless, of course, you want to

do something... More unusual...

that's gonna be a bit more expensive.

What do you mean by unusual?

Well, there's, uh... uh,

there's French.

There's...

Greek.

There's threesomes.

Make it just straight.

Um, your basic face-to-face

missionary position is 20 bucks

plus whatever... $2.99?

Yes. Right.

Everything else is extra?

Yeah.

What's my credit card gonna

say... like, "jerk-off services"

or something like that?

No, it'll say "universal

communications, incorporated."

That's all?

That is all.

So, John...

We gonna party, you and me?

Hmm?

What do you look like?

John, I look terrific.

Take my word for it.

But we're gonna have to get the

formalities out of the way

before we can go any further, so

i am going to need your card number and the expiration date.

You know what?

- i think I'm gonna call back later.

I may not be here later.

I might be asleep, all alone in

my big bed with satin sheets.

Do you live alone?

I do.

Uh, it's just me... well, and

you, if you want to join me.

4-0-0-3-4...

7-6-7...

7-8-12...

how do you know this is a real number?

I put it in my mouth, and if

it gets hard, I know it's real.

- That's pretty funny!

This is your last chance,

sweetie... I have to hang up on

you if you don't give me the number.

- 4-0-3-4-7-1-0-3...

2-5-0-4-2-2-4-6.

Expiration...

what if it was already expired?

I'm counting to 3.

1, 2...

September 2015.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Now what?

Now, John...

We're in business.

So... Why don't you tell me what you like?

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