Sweet Talk Page #2

Hmm.

You know what I'd really like?

What's that?

Oh, boy. I don't know.

It's kind of weird.

Oh.

Come on, John.

Don't be shy.

Okay.

I'd like to be Gene Kelly in

"Singin' in the Rain."

Why'd you call this line,

John?

I mean, you know, you... you

can be Gene Kelly in

"Singin' in the Rain" without me.

Mm, yeah, but...

It's not as much fun.

Do you like girls, John?

Yeah!

What type?

Type?

Yeah.

You know what gets me?

What's that?

The way a woman looks at you.

Her eyes.

Take Jeanne Moreau in

"Jules and Jim."

You seen it?

Doesn't matter.

She has a whole history of...

Booze and cigarettes and bad

love affairs all in her eyes.

I mean, you get the feeling that

you could f*** her for three

days and nights straight, and

she wouldn't smile once.

Have you ever called a fantasy

sex line before, John?

No. I told you.

Well, you might want to save

your money, because this is a

line for guys who like to

get off.

I like to get off.

What makes you think I don't

like to get off?

Great! Then let's get off!

Okay!

Okay! What do you want to do?

"I don't know, Angie.

What do you want to do?"

Uh...

Ernest Borgnine from "Marty"?

Yes!

Yeah, you like old movies?

Yeah! I do!

I mean... Only the good ones!

I've seen "citizen Kane" like

15 times.

So, should I get undressed?

What are you wearing?

Not a whole lot.

Anything?

Mm, well, I'm wearing a

Teddy, but it's sheer.

You can see... Right through it.

Do you happen to have a fur

coat in your closet?

A fur coat?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah!

Sure! Doesn't everybody?

I want you to take off

everything else and go get your

fur coat and put it on.

Uh, I'm going to the closet

now, and...

I'm opening the door, and... oh,

there it is, the sable coat.

I'm, uh...

I'm slipping off my Teddy and

putting the coat on.

Okay, good.

Button it up.

I'm buttoning it up.

Tight. Button it up tight.

All right. Now what?

Now I want you in a train station...

In Europe.

Budapest.

Or Prague. What do you think?

I-I think it's your dime,

buddy.

Budapest...

Right before world war I.

I want you on one of those hard,

wooden benches.

The train station is deserted.

You're all alone.

It's the middle of the night.

It's winter.

It's snowing outside.

It's... it's bitter cold!

But the cold... it doesn't

bother you.

It excites you.

There's something erotic about

being there alone, naked under

your fur coat, in the middle of

the night, in the middle of the winter.

You can feel the silk lining of

the fur coat against your bare skin.

It turns you on.

Your nipples start to harden.

John...

oh, no, no! Wait, wait, wait!

Don't talk! Don't talk!

Your hands start to wander

beneath your coat.

You can't stop from touching yourself.

John, look.

I'm... I'm actually... I'm

really not into this, so...

Try.

Just try.

You go to warm yourself.

But you're not cold anymore.

You're burning up.

You're so hot, you feel like

running out into the snow and

diving in.

Your skin is so sensitive, it

hurts.

You can't bear to have anything

touching it, now, can you?

No.

You let your coat slide down

just off your shoulders...

Just enough to get the

station master's attention.

You don't know what's gonna

happen, but you know that

something has to.

You've gone too far.

So, who's it gonna be?

The station master...

a man with no present and no

past, a man who sits at a ticket

window of a train station where

no trains stop...

Waiting for someone to show up

in a fur coat?

If not him, who?

I'm gonna let you choose,

because this is very important.

Do you know why?

Because afterwards...

...When you light that cigarette

and the perspiration starts to dry...

You're gonna be all alone again.

That fateful moment when you're

back down on earth, surrounded

by the sadness of it all... like

the man said, post coitum omne

animal triste est.

What?

It means "after sex, all men are sad."

Are women?

Are w... are they sad, too?

Why... why did you say that?

What?

That thing in Latin.

Why did you say that?

Because it's true.

But women aren't sad, are they?

Why would they be sad?

They're triumphant!

I mean, they got us to go squirt

with the water pistol right

where they wanted.

Why would they be sad?

Well, they are.

Take my word for it.

What?

Um, I'm... hey!

I'm hanging up.

I-I hope you got off.

Wait, you can't ha... you

don't...

you don't hang up!

I'm... we're in a train station!

Our bodies are burning!

What are we supposed to do?

Oh, come on, Delilah.

There may never be another

moment like this in your entire

existence.

Talk get a little too sweet for

you?

Hello. Sweet talk.

This is Delilah.

You want to talk?

Hello? Anybody there?

Hi, there!

What's your name?

Hi, Marty. How you doing?

Have you, uh... have you ever

called us before, Marty?

All right, Marty.

Fasten your seatbelt.

Here we go.

Marty?

Who gave you permission to come into my room?!

I didn't hear you knock!

Stop babbling!

If I catch you looking at me,

that's what I'm going to have to

punish you!

Bad boys get spanked, Marty!

Take down your trousers!

That's right.

Underpants, too.

Well, well, well.

What have we here?

Get your hands off it, Marty!

Don't touch it!

Naughty boys aren't allowed to

touch themselves down there.

Marty, I-I want you to stand in

a corner, and I want you to

think about your nicest little

boy voice and how you're going

to ask me, and I don't want you

to touch it, okay?

Don't go away.

I'll be right back.

Sweet talk.

This is delilah. Want to talk?

Do you want to talk?

That's the question!

Hi.

Of all the phone-sex joints in all the

towns in all the world, why'd I

have to dial hers?

I'm on the other line.

You left me all alone in a

cold railroad station in Budapest!

That wasn't very nice of you!

I can't talk to you right now.

I don't know if you want to

talk to me at all!

Can you call me back later?

I might not be available later.

I might be asleep... All alone

in my big bed with satin sheets.

Okay, call me back in five minutes.

Five minutes?

Yes.

Marty, you naughty boy.

I can see what you're doing there!

Marty.

Marty.

What do you say we make her

wait a little bit?

Hmm?

Piss her off?

You see, Leon...

Women...

Want to be wooed.

They want you to do it...

Slowly...

Tenderly...

Gently.

Women, Leon, want to be...

Teased.

And then boom!

They're like a wild animal,

scratching at your back, clawing

at your hair, screaming, "f***

me, baby!" Loud enough to break

an eardrum!

Then you got them back in the cave.

But it all starts...

By making them wait.

Why'd you say that thing in

Latin?

Post coitum omne...

...Animal triste est.

Yeah.

Wow.

I... Usually say it to all the

girls on the first date so they

know what to expect.

I had just said that exact

same thing to somebody right

before you called.

I mean, that is... that's really

weird, right?!

Yeah!

Yeah.

Is that why you hung up on

yeah.

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