Swing Away Page #6

we will keep you in

courts for years.

- Is that so?

Well, I'm guessing

that by the time

you Greeks get

your sh*t together,

I will have made this sale,

they will have filled in

this place with concrete

and we'll all have ourselves

a really nice ribbon-cutting.

- I hear you're a gambling

man, Mr. Henderson.

Maybe there's another

way we can settle this.

- And what would that be?

- I don't know,

maybe a simple golf

match between you and me.

- How stupid do I

look, you're a pro.

- A pro with questionable

mental health

as you so kindly put it

and a bad case of the yips.

- Unless maybe you're

afraid of losing to a woman.

- All right, I'll bite,

what are the stakes?

- You win, you make your sale,

and they can build

whatever they like.

- And if I lose?

- Ownership of the property

reverts back to the village.

Do we have a deal?

- One change.

I want somebody who will

properly represent the village,

somebody who's got a

little skin in the game,

somebody who was born here.

Where you born here,

Ms. Papadopoulos, I think not.

- It's a little unfair given

they just learned the game.

- Yeah, isn't that a shame?

Their player for their

property, that's my deal.

Any takers?

I didn't think so.

So, if you don't mind,

I'm gonna excuse myself

and I can call and

have you arrested

or you can turn around and

leave the way you came.

- Wait.

I'll play you.

- Stella.

- I can win, Baba.

- You've got to be kidding me.

You people are pathetic,

you're embarrassing yourselves.

- You're right, why

don't we ask the village?

How do you feel about

Stella representing us?

- Yes!

- Yeah, of course.

- I think you have your answer.

So, do we have a bet?

Goodnight, Baba.

I want you to know

I'm very proud of you.

You're much braver than I am.

I wish mama could be here

to see me beat the American.

She'll be watching you

from above...

And she'll be proud of you, too.

Goodnight, my angel.

Goodnight, Baba.

- I must be out of my

mind letting her do this.

If she loses...

- she won't lose.

- He's an adult, Zoe,

he's a mature man

who has been playing this

game for who knows how long,

the whole idea to

me is really absurd.

- Wait, listen, I've been

doing a lot of research

on Glenn Henderson's game,

at best, he's a five handicap,

and Panayiotis said he didn't

even shoot par at colossus.

- Say it in English,

what does this mean?

- It means that she

can take him, Marcos.

She has a chance to win.

- Hi, Derek.

- Finally, you pick up,

I've been trying to

reach you forever.

- I know, I'm sorry, I just

really needed to unplug.

- I wanted to let you know

your suspension is over.

- Really?

- Yeah, they

dropped it a week ago,

so come into my office tomorrow,

I've got a few dates lined up.

- I kind of have

tournament here tomorrow.

- Where is here?

I don't know what you're doing.

- Relax, Derek,

it's not a paying gig.

- Is this charity again, Zoe?

I hate when you do charity.

- Derek, besides,

I'm not even playing,

I'm just being a caddie.

- Oh god, this is

worse than I thought.

- Would you stop?

- Okay, call me when you get

back, hopefully that's soon.

- I will.

Goodnight.

- Ouzo, I love the

way that sounds.

- I want this

business deal done.

- Roland, you're

getting all of this

pristine oceanfront property

for 20 cents on the dollar.

I've gotta be crazy for selling

it to you for that price

and you know that.

You work your developmental

magic on this,

you're gonna have

a piece of property

that's worth 10 times what

you paid for it, 10 times.

- Shall we begin, Mr. Henderson?

- All right, come on, gentlemen,

let's go have some fun.

Well, it looks like we've

got ourselves a gallery.

Stand aside, everyone,

I take large steps.

- Welcome, everyone and

"kalimera".

- "Kalimera".

For today, format will

be an 18 hole match play

between Mr. Glenn Henderson

and our very own Stella Russos.

I will serve as today's referee.

Now, we shall flip to

see who goes first.

- Why don't we dispense with

the formalities there, padre?

I'll tee off first.

Owner's prerogative.

Keep that close.

I'd bet you'd like

a piece of that.

- It's called

sportsmanship, my friends.

- Just go play your game,

Stella, you got this, okay?

- That had so much box.

It's okay.

- Do you wanna sweeten

the pot a little bit,

say, $100 a hole?

I'll just play for

a box of thin mints.

Oh, like a god.

Don't hand out titles easily.

Oh, that's a shame.

She's been spraying that

ball all over the frontline,

legs are probably getting

a little tired now, too.

Hey, Roland, see the

top of that hill,

that flat pad up there,

that is where you

put the waterpark.

- Oh, nice.

Jackass!

- Wait, there's a

word I recognize.

Defeat sounds the

same in any language.

You'd know all about

that, though, wouldn't ya?

Zoe with the sign of a Z,

washed up has-been pro

that's relegated now

to caddying for a child.

Boy, I'd say your life

has hit an all-time low.

- Yeah, well, you're

an all-time low.

- After nine holes, Mr.

- Henderson is four up.

What happened? Why is she angry?

- What is that, the ancient

Grecian rattle torture?

- God and I both saw

that, Mr. Henderson.

- Really?

Well, I'll tell you what,

I'll deal with god later,

how about a small

donation to your church

that says you didn't?

- I'm afraid it

doesn't work that way.

- Come on, padre,

do we have a deal?

- Now, you'll be hitting your

second shot, Mr. Henderson.

- They will never

find your body.

- No, my five iron

for everything.

- Everything?

- Yes, have a

little faith, okay?

- I don't have a little faith.

I don't even have

a lot of faith.

What you have, Stella,

is all of my faith.

- You're Goliath and I'm

David, I will watch you fall.

- Feeling any

pressure, Henderson.

- I don't feel pressure.

Some people get headaches,

I like to give 'em.

Give me a nine iron.

Get down.

Get down.

Get down.

- Out of bounds.

Out of bounds.

You're killing me!

- I asked for a nine

iron not a six iron.

Bozo.

- That is a one stroke penalty.

You'll be hitting your

first shot from the field.

- You son of a b*tch.

- All even with only

one hole to play.

- Whoops.

Cocktails.

What can I say, it's a gift,

and I've gotta share it.

- Okay, you might be in the

bunker, Stella, come on.

- Now, that's why

god made a nine iron

because that's how far

it's supposed to go.

- Relax, you can hit

the green from here.

It's okay, you can

still make the putt.

Stella, Stella!

Stella, what happened?

- What happened, Agapi?

- I hit something

hard under the sand.

- Come on, let's get

you out, come on.

- Great, can't dig

anywhere in this country

without discovering

an ancient city.

- How good are you at

lining up a gimme, padre?

- The child is hurt.

The game is over.

- Gentleman, let's

go sign a contract.

- Wait.

Let me hit the putt.

- You?

- And I'll sweeten the deal

with a little side bet.

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