Swing Vote Page #5

There's a football in there?

That case holds

the launch codes...

to America's nuclear arsenal.

That's what

this election's all about.

launch codes like...

missiles and sh*t?

I want you to pretend

that America is a team...

- and you're the coach.

- Okay.

Let's say it's the 4th quarter. We've

got possession, but we're down by five.

North Korea has us pinned

in our own fifteenth line...

with one second on the dooms day clock.

What are you doing to do?

Okay, you go long. The only thing

standing between victory and defeat...

is a successful Hail Mary.

One play.

Who are you

gonna give the ball to, Bud?

Do you pin your hopes on some

liberal second string quarterback...

who hasn't had five minutes

in the big show? Of course you don't.

You do the smart thing.

The only thing. You go

with your strongest arm, the man...

who's carried you through the season,

who's never let you down.

Bud, America's counting on you.

Yes, sir.

I'm not gonna let them down.

But, here.

Wouldn't want to drop

the old football.

Blow up France or something.

You couldn't.

There's a whole bunch of secret

codes and these special little keys.

Here's to you!

Look at all... Look at all

this stuff they give us, Molly.

They give us the same shampoo

that the President uses.

Great.

So, what did you guys talk about?

- Stuff.

- What stuff?

You know...

grown up stuff.

Like?

Like...

Bud!

What stuff?

Like grown up stuff.

You know, coaching. Football.

Geothermal nuclear war.

Andy's, a great... great guy.

He's not Andy.

He's the President of the United States.

And he just wants your vote.

And gee, guess what?

He's gonna get it.

It's not even yours to give!

You're gonna...

ruin everything.

Andy, the President,

invited me to watch the game...

- with him on Monday night.

- That's a bribe!

That's not a bribe.

- Is too.

- It is not.

- Is too.

- It is not.

- Is too!

- Is not! What it is, "too"?

- What the hell do you know?

- More than you.

- You do not.

- Do too.

- You do not.

- Do too.

- Fine.

- Fine.

Did you smell

all the leather on that plane?

If I made you feel second best

I'm sorry I was blind

No, baby, leave it, leave it.

That's Willie.

You were always on my mind

Hi, I'm Willie Nelson.

And when I'm not performing,

I'm usually getting involved.

Hey, Bud, if you're out there

and you're watching...

He's talking to us!

There's a special dinner,

especially for you in your honor...

hosted by my good friend and

Presidential candidate Donald Greenleaf.

- I'll see you here tonight.

- I'll do it, Willie!

This is really getting weird.

Democrat or a Republican?

I'm Art Crumb,

Donald Greenleaf's campaign manager.

- Nice to meet you.

- Same here.

You must be Molly. Quite an essay.

You have a future in politics one day.

You might too. One day.

Shall we go in?

Not too hard to be nice,

come on.

Party. Party!

Right this way...

make yourselves at home.

Hello.

As you can see,

we've got a lovely buffet.

Would you like a bud, Bud?

Sure.

Look at that.

You got chipped meat on toast.

My momma used

to make that for me.

- No kidding?

- Yes.

There's all you can eat.

It's all in your honor.

And there's all the Willie Nelson

you can listen to.

I understand

you're an aficionado.

Yes, sir, I was in an all Willie

tribute band for about five years.

Called ourselves

The Half Nelsons.

Only his songs?

No other request.

But you know, I got my own stuff.

So, why don't you guys

do one of your songs tonight?

I would but my rhythm

section's incarcerated.

We've pulled a few strings.

- Hey, Bud! Bud!

- Hey, boys!

Come on up!

They paying us?

You really did, you got them out.

Thank you. Pull strings.

Bud! Buddy, Buddy!

Buddy, look at me!

Damn, Hank, you look good.

Just like prom.

Thank you. Thank you, amigo.

This is the best day of my life.

There's someone very

special I'd like you to meet.

Mr. Johnson!

Donald Greenleaf.

Too tight.

Hell of a party you got here,

Mr. Greenleaf.

Yes, sir. We democrats

are one hell of a party.

Call me Don.

Okay, Don.

The stage awaits.

Well, he said so, right?

Pontiac, Pontiac

Out there in my backyard.

I'm gonna fix it up, paint it red

gonna make that engine go

Chevrolet, Chevrolet

Chevy year that running

Past fly, this and that

Gonna make that engine go

You ready?

They're all in my backyard

Them old cars

I love everyone of them

Molly?

You remember me?

Hi, Ms. Madison.

Don't worry,

I didn't bring a camera.

I'm gonna get one running yet.

All this craziness.

I don't know how you're doing it.

If you ever want to talk,

you call me anytime, okay?

I'm gonna give you my card.

There you go.

You want an interview

with Bud, right?

I'd like him to think about it.

Okay.

I'll get one running yet

I'll get one running yet

I'll get one running yet

I'll get one running yet

I'll get one running yet

Bud! You're the man!

Well... I like you, Bud.

You seem to be a real

genuine sort of guy.

Thanks, Don.

Tell me about yourself.

You got any hobbies?

Just...

just fishing.

You're a fellow angler!

What kind of rod do you use?

Well, I use a six and a half foot

graphite Johnny Morris signature series.

Heavy?

Medium heavy.

Bait catching reel,

twelve pound test.

Don't tell me.

Seven inch power grub,

purple shaky worm.

Yes, sir! Damn, he, he,

you know your equipment!

I figured you for a bass man.

Well, I...

try to take Molly out

as much as I can.

We caught a two dinner stripe

on the Pecos just the other day.

I'm sorry to hear that, Bud.

Why?

There's a bill in the House

targeting the Pecos River for...

reallocation.

You lost me there.

That's where a big

corporation builds a dam.

Limits the flow of water, the fish

can't get to their spawning grounds...

eventually the whole

population dies off.

That sucks, because I've been

fishing there my whole life.

You'd better look for another river,

because President Boone has received...

ten million dollars in contributions

from the energy company...

and he's got to pay

them back somehow.

Come on, now. Come on,

Andy wouldn't do that.

He already did, Bud.

He already did.

Okay. Can't you do something?

If I'm elected President.

What?

No, tell me

exactly what was said.

It's my commitment to protect

the wild places in this country...

for future generations.

And I'm not going

to stop there, Bud.

With your help,

my administration...

will be a leader

in environmental protections.

My fellow Americans...

I give you, the Pecos River

National Wildlife Preserve!

And what can only be characterized

as a complete policy reversal...

the President has surely

alienated his corporate donors...

by adopting

a pro-environment stance.

Bud and Molly Johnson

were on hand today...

We are the environmental party!

Those bastards

stole our platform.

Put the PR people on standby.

- You want Spiegelman Fischer?

- Too high brow.

- What about those iPod guys?

- No, Larry, too urban.

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