Swing Vote Page #6

Get the guys

who do those Miller Lite spots.

The ones with those girls

wrestling in the fountain.

I don't know, Mr. Crumb.

I like the narrator's voice.

His cadence.

Just call them.

Galena hates those ads, Artie,

she says they send the wrong message.

Your wife's not our target demographic,

that son of a b*tch is.

Great.

He's got the Secret Service

running flight patterns!

All we need is an issue

that matters to this guy.

One issue, one man...

one vote.

Boy.

I already own it.

Alright, I'm gonna buy a hotel.

Hi, there.

I've got a delivery for Bud Johnson.

From who?

From everyone.

Tell me,

what drives Bud Johnson?

Right now,

an '89 Chevy Silverado.

You don't have to lift that up.

If you leave it, it's probably better.

- This thing is getting away from you.

- I'm doing the best I can.

Do better! I thought you wanted

to get out of this shithole town!

I want to get out the facts!

You hear that? The clicking.

Click, click.

The sound of a million remote controls

changing the channel on your ass.

Click equals death!

You got to get people a reason to watch.

This is the prime time news.

The key word, being new!

Find me something.

You just got taken down by Mary Hart!

Bud, in looking at it, is there

any issue in particular that...

has touched you personally?

Yeah, yeah, insourcing.

You mean, outsourcing.

No, I mean in.

- Can you elaborate?

- Yeah, well...

where I used to work, there's a bunch

of guys I know, they got laid off.

Instead of sending our jobs,

losing our jobs to Mexico...

they're bringing

in Mexicans to take our jobs.

And we're out.

Wait a minute, could I say that again?

I don't think that came out right.

That came out great.

That came out very well,

Mr. Johnson.

Very authentic.

Central casting?

Border patrol?

So, they're actual

undocumented workers?

We prefer undocumented actors.

Alright, rehearsal's up,

back it into one please!

But we courted

the Pro-Immigrant movement.

Inclusiveness is the foundation

of our party. It's our base!

We no longer have a base.

Bud Johnson's our base.

I don't even recognize

myself anymore.

And what about...

Rainbow House?

Screw!

This guy cares about immigration.

You wanna win? Go out there and rip

the Statue of Liberty a new one!

And action!

Bud, in the last four years,

President Boone...

has allowed millions of illegal

aliens to cross the border...

Flooding cities like Los Angeles,

New York and Texico.

With your help, Bud, my administration

will mend our broken borders...

and stop insourcing.

A vote for Greenleaf

is a vote for America...

An America

where Americans come first.

This land is our land, Bud.

Help me keep it that way.

Dear Tommy, I was very moved

by the letter from your 6th grade class.

Global warming

is a serious issue...

and I promise to make it a top priority

in my discussions with the candidates.

"Dear Mrs. Anderson,

thank you for your letter.

I am doing everything I can to press

the candidates about health insurance."

"Dear Mr. Olsen, I sympathize

with your fears about job security.

I promise you,

I will not ignore the issues...

Education, veterans,

the economy...

health care, the environment.

I am working tirelessly.

I'm doing everything I can.

Sincerely,

Earnest Bud Johnson."

Now!

Now!

Oh, my God! Don!

The goose is down!

How many fingers?

America wants to know

what it's like to be Bud Johnson.

It doesn't suck.

Come on!

I've heard you've received

marriage proposals in the mail, true?

Yeah, you can tell

that Miss September...

that

I'm weighing my options.

Hurry up, Bud!

People Magazine named you

the Sexiest Man of the Year.

Yeah? Well, what can I say?

Guilty as charged!

These people!

Molly, what do you think of your Dad?

What do you think?

Go ahead, go on. Stick your head up

with that little camera. You turd!

Bud... Bud!

- Freeze!

- Stop.

Stop.

Stop!

Come on, Molly? It's just chocolate.

From the gun people.

- I fixed you bacon and eggs.

- You did?

That's nice!

- I want you to look nice.

- What's the occasion?

There's someone

I think you should talk to.

Sit.

She's different than all the others.

I think her heart's in the right place.

I want you to try not to say

anything embarrassing, okay?

- To who?

- Ms. Madison.

- The TV woman?

- She's outside.

- She's outside?

- Yes. In the kitchen.

- She's in our kitchen?

- Yes.

Just try and be normal.

Do I smell?

Then, give me the Old Spice.

God darn it! I was just having some fun!

Molly, these eggs are amazing.

Yes, they sure are.

Thanks.

Well...

I like this new look on you.

It's good, isn't it?

Professional.

Yeah, its damn good.

Anyway, Bud, I was thinking about

interviewing you over the next days.

Get to know you

and your thoughts.

Think people really care

about my thoughts?

I really do considering

the choice you're about to make.

Did you say

you went to Texico High?

She did.

Only her name was Morales.

Morales?

You're kidding.

One of Bobby Morales little sisters?

Yeah, that's me.

Small world!

Small town.

Then, Bud, are you ready?

It's a good time?

Yeah, go ahead, shoot.

Thanks, Bud.

Why don't we get started

with your opinion of gay marriage.

Sh*t! Do we have to?

- So, you're against it.

- I... no, I didn't say that.

Then, what is your position?

I don't have a position on it. Actually,

I don't give a rat's ass about it.

My daddy always said whatever a king

does in his castle is his business.

I guess the same can go

for two queens.

I'm President Boone, and I'd like

you to meet a few friends of mine.

They're our doctors,

and our peace officers.

They teach our children,

they serve nobly in our armed forces.

For two long,

homosexual Americans...

have been persecuted

by the country they love.

This President, if re-elected,

will implement the open door initiative.

Gay Americans alike will be able

to proudly step out of the closet...

and on to the alter, to exchange the

sacred vows enjoyed by the rest of us.

Bud, With your help,

this Republican administration...

will say, I do.

To gay marriage.

I do.

I do.

I do!

I do.

I do!

I do!

- I did it!

- That 'a way, baby!

When we were kids, this was the only

thing to do on the weekends.

Still is.

Well done, Bud.

See?

Let's get to some real issues.

Okay.

Pro-life or pro-choice?

Where do you stand?

Well...

Life's pretty good.

Right about now.

So, you're pro-life then?

Who isn't?

Artie.

- Artie.

- What?

I don't feel comfortable with this.

We're headed in the wrong direction.

No, it's gonna be great.

- Artie.

- And action! Action!

And action, Donald!

What is our future?

I'll tell you what our future is.

Children like these,

like your daughter, Bud.

Happy, free, full of promise.

But imagine a world

without all this joyous laughter.

I'm talking about abortion.

President Boone,

he claims he's pro-life.

But yet under his leadership...

no significant challenge has been

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