Swingers Page #13

ROB:

Sounds more like Aids...

MIKE:

... That's probably a more appropriate

analogy.

At this point they come upon an unmarked BLACK METAL DOOR,

which Mike successfully pulls open to reveal...

34 INT. "THE ROOM" - HOLLYWOOD BAR - SAME 34

A smoke-filled, windowless, black-walled room. There are

several round padded booths lining the walls. The place is

packed, and the funk standard "Brick House" throbs over the

P.A..

A HANDHELD SHOT as the two guys serpentine to the mirrored

bar at the far end of the room. Enshrined in its center is

a framed photograph of SINATRA smiling in approval as he

presides over the evening's activities.

Mike proudly points out the photo to Rob.

MIKE:

Kinda money, huh?

ROB:

(smiling)

Classy.

Mike catches the attention of a cute female BARTENDER.

MIKE:

I'll get a Dewars rocks...

(looks to Rob)

ROB:

Bud.

MIKE:

...A Dewars on the rocks and a Bud,

please.

She goes.

ROB:

I can't get over how cute the girls in

this city are.

MIKE:

I know. It's like the opposite of

inbreeding. The hottest one percent from

around the world migrate to this gene

pool.

ROB:

Darwinism at its best.

MIKE:

I've been around here six months and I

still can't get over it.

ROB:

It's like, every day I see a beautiful

woman. I'm not used to that. I'm used

to seeing a beautiful woman, I don't

know, once a week. I can't handle it.

MIKE:

Wait till summer. I swear, you can't

leave the house. It hurts. It

physically hurts.

ROB:

I can't wait till I actually get to touch

one of them.

MIKE:

Ah, there's the rub...

ROB:

There's the rub.

The bartender serves them their drinks.

CHARLES:

(o.s.)

Whassup Mikey?

Mike turns to see CHARLES. A young black man with a tight

Dolomite fro. He wears a black leather blazer over a black

turtleneck. Just look up "cool" in the dictionary.

A handshake turns into a hug.

MIKE:

Charles! What's up, man?

CHARLES:

Oh. You know.

MIKE:

Did you, um, did you get that pilot?

CHARLES:

No, man. I know you didn't get it 'cause

you wouldn't've asked me. It wasn't that

funny anyway...

MIKE:

... piece of sh*t. Listen, Charles, this

is my friend Rob from Back East.

Shake.

CHARLES:

Hi.

ROB:

My pleasure.

MIKE:

Charles and me went to network on this

pilot together.

ROB:

I just tested for one...

MIKE:

... yeah, a month ago.

CHARLES:

Oh, I'm sorry. How'd your folks take it?

ROB:

I haven't heard an official "no" yet.

CHARLES:

You haven't told then, huh?

ROB:

No.

CHARLES:

I still haven't told my folks I didn't

get "Deepspace 9". You'd think they'd'a

figured it out by now, but Mom keeps

asking...

MIKE:

... and boy does it hurt when they ask.

CHARLES:

I don't even tell them about anything I'm

close on anymore...

MIKE:

... not until you book it...

CHARLES:

... and even then...

MIKE:

... you might get cut out.

ROB:

I'm considering taking a job as a

"Goofy".

CHARLES:

Hey, man. At least it's Disney.

MIKE:

You want to come with us to a party at

the Chateau Marmont? They got a bungalow

and lots of beautiful babies.

CHARLES:

(yelling over the roar of the

wall to wall crowd)

Why not? This place is dead anyway.

CUT TO:

35 INT. "SWINGERS DINER" - BEVERLY BLVD. - LATER THAT NIGHT 35

MIKE, TRENT, SUE, CHARLES, and ROB sit around the round

scotch-plaid corner booth of the retro-hip coffee shop. All

of our boys, with the exception of Rob, are classily dressed.

They wear a lot of black, brown, and gray with a splash of

gold and maroon.

The CAMERA REVOLVES around the table in a repeating

"Reservoir Dogs" style over the shoulder 360 DEGREE PAN.

TRENT:

... No, baby. I got a better one. You

gotta admit the steadycam shot in

"Goodfellas" was the money...

ROB:

... through the basement of that

restaurant...

MIKE:

... the Copa, in New York...

TRENT:

... through the kitchen...

CHARLES:

... I heard it took four days to light

for that shot...

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