Swingers Page #8

MIKE:

Well... we're not in Kansas anymore.

Another lead balloon. Uncomfortable silence.

CHRISTY:

What do you guys do?

MIKE:

I'm a comedian.

More uncomfortable silence.

LISA:

Do you ever perform out here? I'd love

to see you.

MIKE:

No...

LISA:

You should. A lot of comics play Vegas.

MIKE:

Well, I'm afraid it's not that easy...

LISA:

Why not?

MIKE:

There are different circuits... it's hard

to explain... you wouldn't understand...

LISA:

Who's your booking agent?

MIKE:

(flustered)

Oh? You know about booking agents... I

don't, uh, actually have a west coast

agent as of yet...

LISA:

Well, who represents you back east?

MIKE:

Actually, it's funny you... I'm

actually, uh, between...

LISA:

What do you do, Trent?

TRENT:

I'm a producer.

BOTH GIRLS:

Wow... Oooh... Ahhh...

Mike rolls his eyes at how full of sh*t he is.

CHRISTY:

Listen, I'm not really allowed to drink

here. We should go someplace else.

How's my place?

The swingers exchange a glance.

Beat.

TRENT & MIKE

Sounds good to me... Fine... Sure

CUT TO:

17 EXT. CHRISTY'S TRAILER - EARLY MORNING 17

Establishing shot of an Airstream trailer dug into the desert

on chocks. Trent's car and two El Caminos are parked out

front.

18 INT. CHRISTY'S TRAILER - SAME 18

The foursome, now somewhat more intimate, sit huddled around

the fold-out table.

They've been drinking whiskey and long-neck Buds, judging by

the recyclables.

The pairings seems to be Trent/Christy, Mike/Lisa.

The cramped compartment is filled with secondary smoke and

laughter.

TRENT:

No... no... The worst was when I went in

for this After-School special and I'm

sitting in the waiting room with all

these little kids. I see they're all

signed in for the same role as me...

CHRISTY:

They were auditioning for the same role

as you?

TRENT:

Wait... Wait... Listen... So, I check the

time and place. I'm where I'm supposed

to be. I call my agent... She says they

asked for me specifically...

MIKE:

What was the part?

TRENT:

Oh... "I love you... I can't believe

you're doing this... Drugs are bad..."

Whatever. After-School bullshit. The

role is Brother.

MIKE:

"Big Brother", "Little Brother"?

TRENT:

Wait... Wait... Just "Brother". So I go

in. "Hello... Hi... We loved your guest

spot on Baywatch... blah blah blah..."

Whatever. So, I start to read, and,

Mikey, I was money. I prepared for a

week. It's a starring role. I'm

crying... The casting director, she

starts crying...

MIKE:

No!

TRENT:

Yes!

LISA:

Oh my God.

CHRISTY:

Did you get it?

TRENT:

Wait... She's crying. I finish. I hold

up my finger like "Wait a second". They

sit in silence for, like, at least five

minutes. I look up and they all start

clapping, and now they're all crying.

Even the camera guy.

MIKE:

No! Not the camera guy!

TRENT:

I'm telling you!

LISA:

So what happened?

TRENT:

So, I swear to God this is exactly what

he said. The producer says to me... now

he's still crying... he says to me that

I was great, that that was exactly what

they were looking for...

MIKE:

... So give me the f***in part...

TRENT:

Right? ... that I nailed it... Whatever.

Then he says it's just that I'm a little

old. I'm like "How old is the

Brother?". He's like, he says this with

a straight face, I swear to God, he says

"Eleven."

MIKE:

So, what'd you say to him? "Double

down."?

They all crack up even more.

TRENT:

It's like, you looked at my tape. You

saw my picture. Why did you call me in?

You knew I was twenty-four.

CHRISTY:

What an a**hole.

MIKE:

I believe it.

The room dies down. The girls settle into the arms of their

men. There's a lot of body language and pheromones, but not

a lot of words.

CHRISTY:

How rude of me. I haven't given you the

tour.

She gets up and leads Trent into the sleeping compartment to

the rear. The door slaps shut.

Mike and Lisa, in all her made-up glory, look into each

others eyes.

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