Swingers Page #7

MIKE:

I know. I know.

TRENT:

They know what you want, believe me.

Pretending is just a waste of time.

You're gonna take them there eventually

anyway. Don't apologize for it.

MIKE:

I'm just trying to be a gentleman, show

some respect...

TRENT:

Respect, my ass. They respect honesty.

You see how they dress when they go out?

They want to be noticed. You're just

showing them it's working. You gotta get

off this respect kick, baby. There aint

nothing wrong with letting them now that

you're money and that you want to party.

The COFFEE SHOP WAITRESS approaches the table. She's cute,

but not nearly as hot as Christy.

WAITRESS:

Are you ready to order?

MIKE:

Coffee...

(points to Trent, who nods)

Two coffees. It says "Breakfast Any

Time", right?

WAITRESS:

That's right.

MIKE:

I'll have "pancakes in the Age of

Enlightenment".

It goes over like a lead balloon.

WAITRESS:

And you?

TRENT:

I'll have the Blackbeard over easy.

WAITRESS:

I'll be back with the coffee.

She takes the menus and goes.

TRENT:

(genuinely)

Nice, baby.

MIKE:

I should've said Renaissance, right? It

went over her head.

TRENT:

Baby, you did fine.

MIKE:

(disgusted with himself)

"Age of Enlightenment". Sh*t. Like some

waitress in a Las Vegas coffee shop is

going to get an obscure French

philosophical reference. How demeaning.

I may as well have just said "Let me jump

your ignorant bones."...

TRENT:

...Baby...

MIKE:

... It's just, I thought "Renaissance"

was too Excaliber, it's the wrong casino.

She would've gotten it, though...

TRENT:

You did fine. Don't sweat her. We're

meeting our honeys soon. You know

Christy's friend is going to be money.

MIKE:

I hope so.

(checks watch)

We gotta go soon.

TRENT:

Baby, relax. It's just down the hall.

She's gotta change... we'll be fine.

MIKE:

We didn't do so bad after all.

TRENT:

Baby, we're money.

Mike tries to catch the attention of their waitress, who is

passing with a huge platter containing a BREAKFAST BANQUET.

MIKE:

Excuse me. We're in a bit of a hurry.

WAITRESS:

Hang on, Voltaire.

She passes their table and sets the ENTIRE FEAST in front of

the BLUEHAIR from the casino who sits alone.

BLUEHAIR:

I said two lox platters. This isn't

thirty dollars worth of food. I have a

thirty dollar voucher. This isn't my

first time in Vegas, you know.

CUT TO:

16 INT. TREASURE ISLAND CASINO - LANDLUBBER LOUNGE - SAME NIGHT 16

Christy is at the bar wearing acid-washed jeans with a

matching denim top. She's sexy in a pathetic mid-eighties

sort of way. She's sitting next to a pretty brunette, LISA,

dressed in a similar fashion.

There is something bizarre about her appearance. Her hair is

tied into long pig-tails with powder blue ribbons. Her

makeup job is almost theatrical, with bright pink/red lips.

She can't be that out of it, or can she?

The girls have already been flanked by a herd of potential

COURTIERS.

The SWINGERS saunter up to the girls in a smooth, SLOW-MOTION

SHOT.

The girls notice them.

The courtiers sense their rejection and part like the Red Sea

for the swingers in perfect slow-motion choreography.

CHRISTY:

Hi, boys, we almost gave up on you.

TRENT:

Oh, are we late? There are no clocks in

this town.

CHRISTY:

Well, no harm done. This is Lisa. I'm

sorry, I never got your names...

MIKE:

I'm Mike...

(with contempt)

and this is my friend "Doubledown Trent".

TRENT:

(working the bit)

Stop.

(then to the girls)

Ladies, don't you double down on an

eleven?

CHRISTY:

Always...

LISA:

No matter what... like splitting aces.

MIKE:

Whatever.

TRENT:

Hello, Lisa. I'm Trent. What a lovely

makeup job.

CHRISTY:

Lisa works at the MGM Grand...

LISA:

(apologetically)

I'm a "Dorothy".

TRENT:

(trying to sell her to Mike)

Oh... a Dorothy.

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