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Swinging Safari Page #7
- Year:
- 2018
- 97 min
- 155 Views
Tommy got away.
- Eugh!
- What's it like?
Awful.
Is this it?
We're gonna be grown-ups soon,
like our parents.
It's not like the movies, is it?
Maybe she's trying to tell us something.
If our parents have everything,
why are they so miserable?
- What do you reckon?
- Piece of piss.
Get rid of it in about three seconds.
Seagulls do the rest.
Christ, it's almost 9:00.
We gotta go. Come on.
Come on. Come on!
Stop. We've got to go back.
- No, we need to leave now.
- What about the whale?
No, we've just got to get out
of these damn clothes
and just go... we'll go back...
Hey, lovebirds.
Hey, are you having fun, Engelbert?
Yeah. Great. Happy it's over.
Who says it's over?
Love you.
Stop, Melly.
Come.
Put your arms around me.
Like your Nanna.
Come on, love.
- Morning, morning, morning.
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Hey, mate.
- Hey, Rick.
How'd it go?
It sounded like the bloody
Oh, sh*t!
- Stop it! Shush!
- Alright!
Let's get this over with.
- Right?
- Couldn't agree more, mate.
Springboks - best team in
the world. Why can't we watch?
I don't agree with that. Not at all.
I just want to watch rugby.
Let's go and talk to them. Yoo-hoo!
- Hello.
- Hello, darling.
Did you have a good night?
Cripes! Look at the time.
Better get a move on.
Yeah. Big news down at the beach.
Your whale is all over the telly.
Christ, he's right.
We've gotta get a park.
Every bugger and his dog
will be down there!
Come on, then.
We've gotta beat the queue.
- Gonna be a bloody nightmare.
- Come on, love.
Now there's two lanes and
Oh, my boy.
Everybody clear off!
This is your last warning!
This is a blast zone!
For the last time, move back!
Sod the lot of youse! Hope you
all get blown to kingdom come!
Hey. You getting a good shot
there, tiger?
- Yeah, Dad.
- On ya, son.
You see? That's why
we had to beat the traffic.
Look at us. Winners are grinners.
Every news crew. Let's just
hope that it all goes to plan.
Oh, yes. Oh, yes.
Every news crew in Australia.
Don't take any chances.
- Make sure you get rid of it.
- You're the boss.
Hey, boys!
Double it!
- Yeah, tops.
- Double it, boys.
Looking at it from this angle,
it's just massive.
It's a... massive mammal.
It's a dead whale, not a fish.
You see? That's why I get here early.
Hey, Keith. Keith! Over here.
Saved you a possie.
- Sorry we're late.
- Position A.
Gerome's driving the porcelain
bus like a right nong.
Hair of the dog. Drink it.
Get it into ya, mate. Good for ya.
Come on, suck it up.
Found a better view?
I'm sorry.
I don't know what happened.
Maybe...
Maybe I was just too nervous.
Maybe you were just looking out for me.
Do you still want to go to Melbourne?
Race you.
Come on.
What do you reckon will happen?
I don't know.
It's gonna be a mess, though.
Aww!
The big fish, christened Chips
by the boys at the station,
is about to spend his last day
in paradise
thanks to Mayor Bradley
Brimshaw's final solution.
any strip of sand in the
country to end his days,
1975's Tidy Town winner!
That's a good one, that one.
Our glorious beach
is about to get even tidier.
- Ladies and gentlemen...
- Nigel.
...boys and girls,
bid a hearty farewell
to our great blue whale.
The whale's gone!
Goodbye, whale!
What a f***ing fizzer.
She did it! She finally escaped!
Oh!
' Eugh! ~ Oh!
Oh! Oh!
Oh! Eugh! Eugh!
Oh! Sh*t a brick! Run!
Sh*t!
Ohhh!
S' Ah... S'
So, if this is
then it ended with two superheroes
and two tonnes of dynamite.
Melly and I took flight
Don't get me wrong -
I loved my childhood.
Our parents did the best they could
with the bent tools, they were handed.
And the upshot of trying
to force a kid into manhood
with a packet of condoms
was the licence to be a 14-year-old
for the rest of his fabulous life.
When people ask me
what happened in the 1970s,
I've got a simple answer...
You should have just left
her at the airport, honestly.
Because we come here to have
a holiday, a family holiday,
and you just... all you've done is yell
and sit there and look fat
in your purple togs.
Fiji is a dump! I told you
we should have gone to Tonga!
Here, sir! Look what I found here.
Look how beautiful this turtle is.
Hey, come, look what I found.
Look at this.
Has he got a hole drilled in his shell?
Yes, he does.
It's Tommy!
He used to live opposite Mum and Dad.
We have to take him back.
OK. Are you recording?
Go, Mama!
Oh, sh*t!
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"Swinging Safari" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/swinging_safari_19247>.
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