Sydney White Page #2

No.

She... died nine years ago.

I'm sorry.

Oh, it's OK.

Kappas could use a girl like you.

I should know - they're our sister sorority.

Oh!

So we'll be like brother and sister!

Not in, you know,

the related, familial way,

but, you know,

more in the fraternal, sororal...

Sororital? Is that a word?

Sorry. I kinda tend to overtalk when I'm nervous.

It's a disease, one without a cure.

So stop me any time, please.

You're nervous?

Oh... No.

No, it's not you.

Tyler, was it?

No, it's because of the whole rush,

you know?

The very term "rush" is an amper-upper.

It amps up the old nerves.

I have to go.

(chatter)

OK, ladies.

Listen up.

The doors are about to open.

Our objective is?

(all) Target cute pledges.

Exactly.

And what do we want to avoid?

(all) Fat losers.

Now, now.

We all remember the code.

When I ask you to show a girl

to the "koi pond," ditch her.

We also have two legacies coming today -

Dinky Hodgekiss and Sydney White.

When you meet them,

find me immediately.

OK, girls.

Are we ready?

(all chant)

Here comes a Kappa, queen of the Row.

She's hot, she's cool, she ain't no ho.

She's got style, she's got class,

and from behind a kicking...

Kappa! Kappa! Kappa!

Kappa! Kappa! Kappa! Kappa!

Excuse me, Amy.

Don't you remember?

You've been reassigned.

Kitchen duty.

Go on.

That's what happens when you gain 27 pounds

of breakup weight over the summer.

(all chant)

Kappa! Kappa! Kappa! Kappa!

(screaming)

Kappa! (giggles)

Kappa! Kappa!

Hey.

Kappa! Kappa! Kappa!

(chanting continues)

Hey!

We've been dating for two years.

I love him so much!

And next week,

he's gonna pin me.

Pin you to what?

Hi.

Hi.

(girl) Hi there.

Oh, hi.

I'm Katy and this is Christy.

I'm Sydney White.

You're one of our legacies.

Rachel's gonna be so excited!

Rachel, we'd like you

to meet someone.

Oh...

Hi.

Girls, why don't you show

this one the koi pond?

Ooh! I love koi ponds.

Great.

Off you go.

This is Sydney White.

Three words - Leg-a-cy

Sydney, so pleased to meet you.

I'm so excited.

My mom had a great experience here.

Katy, have you offered our guest a drink

from the refreshment table?

I'm actually not that thirst...

No, no. Katy.

The refreshment table?

We have a situation.

That girl is not Kappa material.

(Christy) Really?

I didn't see anything wrong with her.

Christy, you know you're not

as perceptive as I am.

She wouldn't know

her Gucci from her Pucci.

Not to mention, I saw her throwing herself

all over Tyler before she came in the house.

It was embarrassing. Trust me,

we do not want a Kappa who behaves that way.

See what I mean?

But we have to give her a bid.

She's a legacy.

Her mom gets her the bid,

but she has to survive pledging all on her own.

Oh, my gosh. I saw him outside,

and he is definitely the hottest guy on campus.

Who's the hottest guy on campus?

Tyler Prince,

the Beta president.

Oh, you know, I know that guy.

He was really nice.

He showed me around Greek Row.

Off limits. He's Rachel's boyfriend.

Oh.

Yeah, they're off now,

but they'll be on again.

It's all part of

Rachel's 20-year plan.

He'll be a top litigator,

she'll be a senator.

It's so romantic.

Yeah, it does sound romantic.

Because there it nothing more romantic

than a 20-year plan. Am I right, ladies?

(laughs)

So, Sydney,

where does your dad work?

Oh, he works mostly on construction sites.

Oh.

My uncle's made a mint building malls.

So, your dad's a developer, too?

Yeah...

something like that.

(Rachel) Night, girls.

Get your beauty rest.

Now that you're Kappa pledges,

it's a requirement.

(all) # Lay you down, dear sweet pledge

# Lay your head on the pillow

# May you have lovely dreams

# Just as lovely as you are

(all) Shh.

(Sydney)

Has anyone found the koi pond?

(airhorns blasting)

It's 1 2:
01!

Welcome to hell, skanks!

Over the next week, we'll be conducting

what I like to call..."pledge enlightenment."

We're not allowed to call it "hazing,"

not after what happened to Suzie.

We're gonna find out which of you

Prada princesses has what it takes to be a Kappa,

and which of you don't.

This is your first pledge task -

the date dash.

You have until 1 2:1 5 to find a date

and meet me at the State Street Diner.

No changing clothes, no makeup,

no brushing your hair or teeth!

You have 15 minutes!

Let's go!

Go! Go!

Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

(girl) Come on!

Dinky! Dinky! What do we do?

Oh, you just grab a guy.

Excuse me, sugar.

Can I borrow you for a date dash?

(laughs) Hurry up, girl. Come on.

OK.

Come on!

(boy) Ah-choo!

Hello? Hello?!

Uh... Oh, uh, sorry.

I'm sorry. Uh...

Hi. Uh... I'm sorry I startled you.

Can you...? Can you help me?

Ah-choo!

OK.

Thanks.

Sure.

Ah-choo! Oh, sorry.

Sorry, thanks.

What are you doing

in a, uh, bush?

I don't know what happened. I was walking home

and this crazed pack of girls came toward me.

So I dove for cover.

Yeah, vision not impaired.

Sense of balance restored.

Feeling in fingers and toes.

No visible...

Wait!

You're a guy, right?

(uncertainly) Yeah.

What are you doing now?

I'm waiting for an antihistamine to take effect.

I need you to be my date.

(laughs)

Your date?

Yeah.

Let's go.

Oh, um, watch out.

When I get this excited, I tend to throw up.

It's OK. Just tell me when to duck.

OK.

(Sydney) Let's go!

Oh, um, no. I... I...

(plates clatter)

What's good?

Wonderful. You just made it.

(Sydney) How's the BLT?

Mm!

Oh, my God.

Look at her with that pie.

It's a so-rority, not a ho-rority.

So, tell me about the Vortex.

What's it like?

Uh...

I guess you'd call it a, uh... haven,

uh, for people who don't have anywhere else to go.

Some of us didn't get along with our roommates,

some of us made others feel uncomfortable.

Some of us wet the bed.

Some of us wet the hallway.

Uh, all of us are outsiders.

Yeah, I know what that's like.

Uh, are you serious?

You're a Kappa pledge.

By definition, very much an insider.

Would all the Kappa pledges

join me over here for a moment?

OK. I guess I'll be right back.

Yes.

OK, girls.

It's time for your next pledge task.

The date-dash ditch.

This year's unsuitable date

belongs to...

Sydney.

Sorry, you're gonna

have to ditch him.

Ah-choo!

But my guy's really nice.

And I dragged him all the way down here.

And he has a sinus infection

and his athlete's foot is flaring up.

And he has glaucoma... he thinks.

I cannot just ditch him.

I don't make the rules, Sydney.

If being a Kappa is important to you,

then this is the price you pay.

Hey, "date."

Hey.

I ordered you

another cup of coffee.

Oh...

I need you to meet me

in the girls' bathroom.

Another pledge ritual.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

OK.

I'll meet you there.

(door opens)

Sydney?

(both scream)

Pervert!

Ow!

Looks like you

get stuck with the check.

We live in a country that's considered to be

the ultimate model of government.

By the people,

for the people, and of the people.

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