Sydney White Page #8

Go, Sydney!

Oh, my God.

(girl) Go, Sydney!

I vote for Sydney!

Go!

You've been oppressed by the Greek elite

who take everything for themselves

and leave nothing for us.

(crowd boos)

It's time for the rest of the school

to take back the school.

Yeah!

I bet most of you have no idea how great

the campus a cappella group is, and why would you?

The social and cultural landscape

is entirely run by the Greeks.

Those guys are forced to practice

in a dank basement that's hard on their vocal cords.

(man) Yeah!

Professor Carlton...

Let her finish.

I have met so many great

and interesting people here

that I never would have met

if I didn't step out of my own little world.

Before, all I wanted was to fit in.

But I've learned that

we're all searching to fit in

and we... we all feel like outsiders

and we all do things and feel things

that are bizarre

and unconventional and dorky.

We're all dorks.

Yeah!

My name is Sydney White.

My dad's a plumber.

I collect comic books

and I'm secretly terrified of balloon animals.

(laughter)

I'm a dork.

Yeah!

I'm Tyler Prince. I'm the current

high scorer in Gurkin of Honor.

I'm a dork.

My name is...

Well, it's really Sanford

and I've never had sex

with a girl before.

(crowd) Oh.

But I really, really want to.

I'm a dork.

Hi.

My name is name is Jeremy.

I used to speak only through my puppet.

I'm a dork!

My name's Moose. When I was 1 3

I was the top-ranked male figure skater

in the state of New Jersey.

(man) Dude!

So I guess that makes me a dork.

I've hated Rachel Witchburn

ever since she told me I had mom arms

freshman year,

and I have a voodoo doll of her

in my underwear drawer and I stick pins in it.

Oh, and I'm a dork.

Hi. My name is Dinky Hodgekiss

and I think I'm in love with a dork.

(cheering)

Let's hear it for the dorks!

Rachel Witchburn, you've exhibited

behavior unsuitable for a Kappa.

You've lied, manipulated and verbally abused

your sisters and fellow students.

And you are just such a...

a b*tch.

We, all of us,

hereby strip you of the privileges

of the Kappa sisterhood.

But you can't! You can't just...

We just did.

Here comes a Kappa, queen of the row.

She's hot, she's cool, she ain't no ho.

She's got style, she's got class.

Prada...

And from behind, a kicking...

Gucci...

(screams)

(# "Good Day" by The Click Five)

Oh, no. You're not

getting sick, are you?

Nah. It's just the mulch.

Oh.

(car horn)

Hey, we're from Southeast State and we're lost.

Can you help us?

I will be your guide.

Give me five minutes.

Take all the time you need.

(Terrence) OK. Bye.

Terrence! What happened?

Hey, guys. I finally perfected

my predictive analytic probability theory.

It can predict anything from the behavior

of amino acids in a stable isotope peptide bond

to the outcome of sporting events.

So I sold it to ibet.com for $10 million.

Are you kidding me?

You a rich man!

You know I helped. I did.

(wolf whistles)

Aw!

Oh, let's take a picture.

Come on.

Get together.

Say cheese.

Cheese.

(Sydney) So, that's the story of Sydney White.

My mom was right. I did make friends for life.

And we all lived -

well, do you even have to ask? -

dorkily ever after.

(# "I'm Not Worried" by The Drop)

(# "Beautiful Surprise" by Kyle Paas)

By LeapinLar

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