Sydney White Page #7

put on some clothes. OK.

Rachel, why don't you get the hell outta here?

Ooh, I love it when you get rough.

And, Ty, thanks for playing your part so well.

That's the other good news.

The Witchburn-Prince Greek Life Center

is now a reality.

Witchburn-Prince? What the hell...?

You didn't tell her?

I thought you guys were so close.

It's a little joint project of ours

and the only thing standing in our way

was the Vortex.

So, like you suggested, Tyler,

I went ahead

and had it condemned.

Now you can eat

with the homeless every night.

You had something

to do with this?

No. I mean, I said the place

was a dump, but I didn't...

Witchburn-Prince, huh?

So you wanted to tear down the Vortex.

Yeah, I did, but...

I don't wanna hear it.

Sydney!

No.

Don't grovel, Tyler.

You're above it.

Things are looking grim,

brothers.

I am so sorry about this,

you guys.

You should've just left us alone.

We were fine until you came along

and made us your guinea pigs.

You guys... It's so important

for us to stand up to the Greeks

and show them that

they can't trample all over us.

Well, it's also important for us

to have a place to live.

(phone rings)

Hello?

Dad?

(laughs) Got you. You've reached Royal Plumbing

at the White House. No, not that one.

This is Paul and Sydney's. Leave a message.

(beep)

Hi, Dad. I was just calling

to say... I miss you.

And that's it. Um...

Everything's great here. Really great.

I love you.

It was that message last night. I could tell something

wasn't right. I could hear it in your voice.

So I got in the van

and I drove all through the night.

I was a little surprised to find

you weren't at the Kappa house, though.

I wanted to tell you

so many times but...

I kept thinking about Mom

and I felt like I'd failed her.

And you always sounded

so proud of me on the phone.

Sweetheart, following in your mother's footsteps

is not about reliving her life.

It's about being

the same kind of person she was.

Hey.

Your mom was much more

than just a Kappa.

She was a woman who always fought

for what she believed in, and so are you.

Nothing could make me

prouder than that.

Not even when I installed

that water filtration system in under an hour?

That was pretty great.

(laughs)

(knock at door)

(grunts)

But it says, "Do not disturb."

(knocking continues)

Up and at 'em, guys.

It's time to make some plans.

I know you're still pissed at me, but come on.

Are you gonna wallow here in this fleabag motel

because some prissy girly-girl who probably

doesn't know who Gandalf is screwed us over?

You're right.

I bet she doesn't know who Gandalf is.

(laughter)

We're still mad at you, though.

That's OK. I want you to be mad.

I want you to get fired up

so we can win this election,

because the Freedom to the 7th Power

party will prevail.

Yeah!

With our new candidate for president.

Me. I'm gonna run against Rachel.

And we're gonna take her down.

(# "Stand Up" by Mle)

I'm Sydney White

and I'm running for student council president...

I'm Sydney White and I'm running for student council

president on the Freedom to the 7th Power ticket.

Your papers count for three quarters of

your final grade and no late papers will be accepted.

As you're writing these papers, I want you to think

about the mechanics of modern campaigning.

You may be wondering why you should even care.

Why bother voting?

The Greeks win every year

and it's one more way they run the school.

There's a whole lot of talk today

about the need to cater to your base,

but there's something to be said

for thinking outside of that box.

(Sydney) Freedom to the 7th Power!

Whoo-hoo!

Freedom to the 7th Power!

(man) Good job.

(groans)

The fact is that 80% of the student body

at Southern Atlantic is not Greek. 80%.

Take the Kennedy campaign in 1 960.

He was inherently an outsider -

a Catholic had never been elected as president -

who reached out to other outsiders.

(students chant in Hebrew)

L'chaim.

L'chaim.

(Sydney) To those students I say,

it's time for you to be heard.

(Carlton) Minorities, women, the poor -

the disenfranchised won

that election for John Kennedy.

"Naked Pain."

An epic poem in 1 2 parts.

It's time for you to be heard,

and we are here to listen.

(cheering)

(chanting in Hebrew)

It's a lesson worth remembering.

Whoo-hoo!

(cheering)

(Rachel) Here you go.

Don't vote for Sydney White.

Let's keep it Greek, all right?

Does this look like your next president?

Vote Rachel Witchburn.

Hi, ho.

Bye, ho.

Don't vote for Sydney White.

Vote Rachel Witchburn. Rachel Witchburn.

No way. You read

peoplespunisher too?

I write it.

Oh, my God.

It's the most genius thing ever.

Did you know that the Brew House has

a spoken-word night devoted to that blog?

Really?

Yeah.

And I know

this is really embarrassing,

but I swore that if I ever met

the peoplespunisher guy,

well, I'd hook up with him.

Dammit!

Need some help?

Oh. Hi.

Listen, I'm really...

Is that a Stanley 22 ounce

AntiVibe framing hammer?

Yes, it is.

Can I touch it?

You can have it.

I saw you guys with the signs.

I thought I could help.

And I'm really sorry about

what happened the other night.

I had nothing to do with

what Rachel pulled.

Yeah, I was involved in the Greek Center,

but Rachel twisted everything around.

Yeah. I know what that's like.

You're gonna do great

at the debate tomorrow.

(heavy rock music)

I thought we might

do a little business.

Huh.

I thought you finished Carlton's paper last week.

I did.

I wanted to add some of the ideas

from our campaign.

You really are a dork.

What just happened? Make it come back.

I don't...

She just opened it.

Voil. One poisoned Apple.

(groans)

(computer voice) Self-destruct.

(Lenny) Oh, my God.

Oh, no.

All right, pay up.

Yes!

She's gone catatonic.

It's no use.

Even I can't fix this.

My paper, due tomorrow.

The debate, tomorrow.

The guy definitely

knew what he was doing.

(Terrence) What about...? Ow.

I can't let her win like this.

But the debate starts in 1 2 hours.

I'm just gonna have to pull an all-nighter.

(PA) The debate's about to begin.

Candidates, please report to the stage.

We couldn't find her anywhere.

She should be done with her paper by now.

We need all candidates on stage now.

Sydney.

Sydney, you gotta wake up.

I know you're tired, but you can't give up now.

You mean a lot to those guys out there.

(grunts)

You mean a lot to me.

OK. I'm awake now.

Come on.

Well, I'm afraid we can't wait

any longer for Ms. White.

I'm here! I'm here!

(crowd gasps)

Ms. Witchburn,

if you win another term as president,

what will you do differently?

Why fix what isn't broken?

This has been a great year for the university

and I am proud

to be breaking ground

on the Greek Life Center very soon.

Ms. White, your rebuttal?

(crowd boos)

I guess your people couldn't make it.

It's just you and your dorks.

(doors open)

(# marching band)

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