Synecdoche, New York Page #2

of desolation.

Okay.

That's great.

- Let's try it again. How long, David?

- I think 15.

Anything?

So now what?

- Hey.

- Hey.

- In search of the elusive signal.

- The signal's good here, oddly.

- That is odd.

- I know. Cell phones, they're crazy.

- See you in a few.

- Yep.

Yeah, Dr. Heshborg said

I should see a Dr. Scoriano.

My pupils don't work.

I think I have blood in my stool.

That stool in your office?

- When I was pregnant with Olive.

- What was it like?

I don't know. Hopeful or something.

Like something was gonna change.

- Yeah, something did. No?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, of course.

- I mean, bigtime.

I mean, maybe not as much

as I'd hoped.

I'm sorry.

That's a terrible thing to say.

There are no terrible things to say

in here, only true and false.

- Can I say something awful?

- Yes, please do.

I've fantasized about Caden dying.

Being able to start again, guilt-free.

I know that's... That's bad.

- Caden, does that feel terrible?

- Yeah.

Okay, good.

It's a nightmare in there.

I'm sorry.

So, I'm reading The Trial.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- You like?

- Love.

I'm such an idiot

for not knowing about this book.

- It's famous, as it turns out.

- Yeah.

You're not an idiot.

Then you say:

"In fact, Hazel, you're very bright,

and I love your eyes."

- In fact, Hazel, you're very bright.

- Oh, am I?

- And I love your eyes.

- Do you? Oh, you're a darling.

Then what do I say?

- I can't say what then you say.

- Why?

Because it's dirty.

Could you step out for a second?

Go ahead. I've seen boy parts.

- Can I take a piss in your sink?

- Yeah, sure. I guess.

We're sold out.

Great.

Gorgeous.

Thanks.

- How was rehearsal?

- Awful.

We have 560 lighting cues.

- I don't why I make it so complicated.

- Because that's what you do.

Yeah.

We got through it though.

That's really pretty.

Caden, I'm sorry, I...

I can't come tonight. I'm sorry.

I have two canvasses I have

to get ready to ship for tomorrow.

- I know it sucks...

- It's opening night.

I know. I wish I could come.

I would if I could.

- I've gotta get ready.

- Tomorrow...

I have to get ready.

I don't know what I'm gonna wear.

I have to figure out

what I'm gonna wear.

Hey.

- Oh, boy, oh boy.

- Willy?

It's all right, I came back.

I hated myself tonight.

- Plus, I'm so... Excuse me.

- Hey, Tom.

I'm so bloated and enormous.

No, you look good. You were great.

I was very pleased.

- You okay?

- Sorry. A little bit of a headache.

Willy Loman.

I just wanted to say thank you

for everything.

You've been absolutely brilliant.

It's gonna be miserable

going ahead without you.

- I'll be around. I'll check in.

- I'm such a baby.

Okay. I'm gonna go get drunk,

that's what.

Okay. Claire. Sweetheart.

- Good. Good job.

- Oh, don't worry, I'll get better.

- Good work.

- Don't worry, it'll get better.

Hey. I figured I'd better get in fast.

- Hey, you wanna sit?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Where's el wife-o?

- Had to work.

Her show in Berlin is in two weeks.

We're gonna go there

for like a month.

- Why do I like you so much?

- I couldn't begin to guess.

Me neither.

Do you get high, my friend?

You know, sometimes.

Do you want to now?

With me, in my car?

I get kind of...

...something when I'm stoned.

What does "something" mean?

You know...

...bothered.

- What does "bothered" mean?

- You know.

Bothered. Horny.

And me with a station wagon and all.

Could be dangerous.

- Yeah, could be.

- You're absolutely zero fun.

When are the reviews

gonna get here?

Don't know.

His best friends finger two babies...

One this big, one this big.

- And two kittens.

- Hey.

- Hi, Caden. How'd it go?

- Hi.

- Hi.

It's late.

Maria came over

to keep me company because...

And we just lost track.

I got everything done.

But I'm sorry I missed your play.

I'm sorry. But how'd it go?

Great. We're a hit.

Reviews are great.

Times said it was brilliant casting

young people as Willy and Linda.

- That's great, Caden. Good for you.

- Great.

I can't wait to see it tomorrow.

That's... Tonight.

That's great.

Wow, it's really late... Early.

Early.

It's late.

Hey, I would love to see it too.

- Can we get Maria a ticket?

- You're stoned.

I mean, a little. It's, you know...

I don't know.

But are you happy with it?

Yeah. Yeah, I'd love for you to see...

To know what you think.

It doesn't matter what I think.

Absolutely. It's all about

your artistic satisfaction, Caden.

- Congratulations.

- Yeah.

- I've always loved this house.

- Yes, it's a wonderful place.

The truth is, I never really imagined

I could afford it.

Well, the sellers

are very motivated now.

It's a scary decision.

I never thought I'd buy a house alone.

But, you know, I'm 36,

and I wonder what it is I'm waiting for.

- Home buying is always scary.

- And with the fire and all especially.

Well, it's a good size though,

2200 square feet...

...not including

the partially finished basement.

Oh, I don't know.

- I'm thinking I should go.

- It's a perfect size for someone alone.

I like it, I do. I'm just really concerned

about dying in the fire.

It's a big decision

how one prefers to die.

Would you like to meet my son?

Derek.

Derek's living in the basement

since his divorce, if that's okay.

Hey, Mom.

- Let's go, Ma.

- I want just a minute.

I never...

Forgive me, dear. I can't cry.

I don't know what it is,

but I can't cry.

It seems to me

that you're just on another trip.

I keep expecting you.

Why did you do it?

I search and I search

and I can't understand it.

I made the last payment

on the house today.

We're free and clear.

We're free. We're free.

- Well done.

- Bravo.

- Well done. It was very successful.

- I thought it was wonderful.

Why did the older people

look so young?

It was a choice, Dad.

I'll explain later.

I can't get excited about your restaging

someone else's old play, it just...

There's nothing personal in it.

People are coming out of the theater

crying.

Great. Be a f***ing tool

of suburban, blue-haired...

...regional-theater subscribers.

- You didn't you think it was long?

- No.

But what are you leaving behind?

You act as if you have forever

to figure it out.

When you're dead, there's no time.

The world is...

I don't know.

I slept maybe three hours.

So we're both tired.

No, I cuddled with Olive all night.

It was great.

Morning. Morning.

- Morning, Caden.

- I think I might have arthritis.

Friends on fire.

I'm going to.

No, I know exactly.

Okay, I will. I'll call you later.

I know. You're right. Bye.

My joints are stiff.

Who was that?

- Maria.

- Right.

Three hours since you spoke.

Caden, I think I wanna go to Berlin

with just Olive.

- I think it would be good for us.

- Oh, Christ.

Morning, kiddos.

Why don't you want me to go?

You know, I think it would be a good

thing for the two of us to do alone.

How do you think I'm supposed

to respond to something like that?

- Want me to zip your coat up?

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