Synecdoche, New York Page #3

- Yeah.

What's wrong with your face,

Daddy?

It's pustules.

It's called sycosis.

Spelled differently than "psychosis,"

but it sounds the same.

I don't know what that means.

Of course not.

Well, there are two kinds of psychosis.

They're spelled differently.

P-S-Y is like if you're crazy,

like Mama.

S-Y is like these ugly things

on my face.

- You could have both, though.

- I could, but I don't.

Can I ask you something, Ad?

Have I disappointed you somehow?

I don't know what I'm doing.

We're just spending a little time apart.

We'll talk when I get back, okay?

Everyone is disappointing.

The more you know someone, it just...

This whole romantic-love thing,

it's just a projection anyway, right?

I mean, I don't know.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I love you.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I don't know.

We'll talk when I get back.

Okay?

Flurostatin TR

allows you to live life...

...when it's your turn to face

the challenges of chemotherapy.

Ask your doctor

if Flurostatin TR is right for you.

- And I'm on the first train

out of Palookaville.

- The Miracle Brush

can scour everything from bottles...

- Rise and shine...

- Lift those legs...

- I'm lonely.

- Yes. Anything else?

- I'm hurt.

- Yes. And?

I think Adele's right.

I'm not doing anything real...

What would be real?

I'm afraid I'm gonna die.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I wanna do something important

while I'm still here.

That would be the time to do it. I have

a book that might help you get better.

- Better?

- It's called Getting Better.

- Who wrote it?

- I did. All of these.

- Wow, I never knew that.

- Yes. Well, wow, indeed.

In conclusion... Cats eat rats...

Within his own plumbing...

Me who am as a raw nerve...

Synthetic vaginal juices...

Substantial crease...

That's $45.

Five. Five.

Five.

Some fives. That's not good.

Keep with the flossing.

We'll see you in three months.

Six. Six. Six.

I'm gonna recommend

you see a periodontist.

He'll probably recommend

gum surgery.

- Hello?

- Hey, I'm so glad I finally got you.

- Hello, who is this?

- It's Caden.

Ellen?

It's Caden. I can't wait to see you

and Olive on the 12th...

No, I have to go.

I'm sorry, there's a party. I'm famous.

Have fun...

911, state your emergency.

- I'm sick! I'm sick!

- Ma'am?

Mr. Cotard?

Mr. Cotard.

You've had a seizure of sorts.

What does that mean?

Seems to be some synaptic

degradation, fungal in origin.

Autonomic functions

are going haywire.

You'll lose your ability

to salivate, cry, et cetera.

- Is it serious?

- We don't know. But, yes.

We'll get you enrolled

in some biofeedback program.

Maybe you can learn

some sort of manual override.

We should get a drink.

It would be fun.

- It would be weird.

- I like weird. I like you. See?

Anyway, I don't wanna

make you uncomfortable, I...

Okay, so I do

wanna make you uncomfortable.

And what do we do with all this?

You wanna come over to my place,

Cotard?

I won't let you off the hook this time

by saying, "Never mind."

Adele is only on vacation.

She hasn't called since she left.

It's been a year.

It's been a week.

I'm gonna buy you a calendar.

Okay.

Just for one drink.

Come on. Scraps for my scrapbook.

I can't... I really can't drink very much

because of my condition.

Did you put something in it?

If that's what it takes,

consider it done.

Love potion number 69.

- It's good.

- Does it make you wanna kiss me?

- Kind of.

- Tell me why.

Because I feel a lot of longing.

Beg a girl, why don't you?

- Please, Hazel.

- On your knees.

What?

I want you to beg me

on your knees for a kiss.

Just for fun.

Why am I doing this?

For fun, baby.

Will you help me

forget my troubles?

Oh, kiddo.

You don't even know.

- What?

- I don't know.

- What is it?

- I don't know, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

- What?

- I don't know, I'm just...

I'm just really confused.

I'm sorry.

I...

I'm really sick.

And I think I'm dying.

I have a kid, and I'm married.

I just thought

this might change things, you know?

I had a good time,

and I think you're a very nice person.

That is just the wrong thing

to say right now, Caden.

You should go.

Hazel. Leave a message or not.

It's your dime.

Hi. You know,

I haven't heard from you in a while...

...and I just thought I'd call

and say hi.

Hi, Hazel.

Now. Now. Be here now.

Olive wanted me to ask you

not to read her diary.

She left it under her pillow

by mistake.

Dear Mr. Cotard,

it is my pleasure to inform you...

...that you have been named

a 2009 MacArthur Fellow.

It is our hope that you will use

your newly found financial freedom...

...to create something unflinchingly

true, profoundly beautiful...

...and of unremitting value

to your community and to the world.

- I got this MacArthur grant.

- Oh, Caden.

- Yeah, a lot of money.

- Know what you're gonna do with it?

Theater piece.

Something big and true and tough.

I'm gonna finally put my real self

into something.

What is your real self, do you think?

I don't know yet.

The MacArthur is called

"the genius grant"...

...and I wanna earn it.

That's wonderful. God bless.

I guess you'll have to discover

your real self, right?

Yeah.

I wanted to ask you, how old are kids

when they start to write?

There's an absolutely brilliant novel

written by a 4-year-old.

- Really?

- Little Winky by Horace Azpiazu.

- That's cute.

- Oh, hardly.

Little Winky

is a virulent anti-Semite.

The story follows his initiation

into the Klan...

...his immersion

in the pornographic snuff industry...

...and his ultimate degradation

at the hands of a black ex-convict...

...named Eric Washington Jackson

Jones Johnson...

- Written by a 4-year-old?

...Jefferson.

Written by a 4-year-old?

Well, Azpiazu killed himself

when he was 5.

- Why did he kill himself?

- I don't know. Why did you?

What?

I said, why would you?

Oh, I don't know.

Yeah, I wanna bring my production

to New York...

...to get it seen by people,

you know, who matter.

- The sooner the better.

- This theater, centrally located.

Heart of the theater district,

so, you know, great for plays.

- Yeah?

- Oh, yeah. Absolutely. There it is.

- What was this used for?

- Plays.

- Like, theater plays?

- Shakespeare.

King Lear.

The storm.

You see, the idea

is to do a massive theater piece.

You know, uncompromising, honest.

Here's what I think theater is.

It's the beginning of thought.

It's the truth not yet spoken.

It's what a man feels like

after he's been clocked in the jaw.

It's love in all its messiness.

You know, and I want all of us,

players and patrons alike...

...to soak

in the communal bath of it...

...the mikvah, as the Jews call it.

Because we're all in the same water,

after all.

You know, soaking

in our very menstrual blood...

...and nocturnal emissions.

This is what I wanna try

to give people.

Okay, here you go.

Here's your salad.

- Here's your soup.

- Thanks.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes