Synecdoche, New York Page #7

Dating, birth, death, life, family...

...all that.

- This doesn't look real.

- What?

- It's not real.

- I can't hear you.

- Morning, Haze.

- Hi, Caden. How was your night?

It was okay. Yours?

Phillip was colicky.

I was up all night.

- Oh, sorry.

- Sorry.

- Everybody here?

- Sammy's not here.

Jimmy called and said

there's some subway problem.

Sorry. Sorry.

- Hi, Hazel.

- Hi, Sammy.

Sammy likes you.

I need you to build this.

This is just the faade.

It's Adele's place.

We'll be casting an Ellen.

I can give you the interiors later.

A few days?

- Can I look again?

- A slight shift in perspective on this.

Millicent Weems?

- Caden, this is...

- Hazel, what do you think of this title?

Unknown, Unkissed and Lost?

Anyway, this is Millicent Weems.

Have a seat.

How are you at cleaning?

- Very, very good at it.

- This part requires a lot of it.

You'd be playing a cleaning lady.

I played Egga, the cleaning lady,

in Hedda Gabler at the Roundabout.

Great. Okay.

And Mrs. Dobson in Scrub-A-Dub

at the Pantages.

You're weirdly close

to what I visualize for this character.

Glad to be weirdly close.

Sorry, everybody.

- Maurice, what's going on?

- I'm sorry.

We have a couple of new guys on.

We're not in sync yet.

- We good to go?

- Yes, sir.

I'm sorry.

F***.

Are you Ellen?

Are you Ellen Bascomb?

Sh*t.

Line, please?

Ellen..."What?"

Right, right. What?

I'm to give the key to 31Y

to Ellen Bascomb.

Yes, I'm Ellen.

Oh, dear. It's the wrong key.

I'll be in, in a second.

- Did you hear that?

- What?

- You're breaking the fourth wall.

- This is the wrong key.

- I'm supposed to open the door.

- Hold on.

- Are you in there?

- There's no one in there.

- Adele?

- Caden.

I don't think it's... It's not quite...

I'm jumping in the shower.

I'll be out in a second.

Do you want some coffee?

I can make a fresh pot.

Did you look at the new painting

on my easel? What do you think?

Hey, thanks for the f***

this morning.

- People don't walk like that.

- What? Is it too?

No, just walk like yourself.

Watch. Watch this.

I gotta go.

Watch this.

Where's Hazel and Sammy?

Sammy.

Sammy. Sammy.

- Hi, Caden.

- What are you doing?

I was being you.

You know, you like Hazel,

I like Hazel.

This Hazel doesn't exist for you. If you

wanna like a Hazel, like that one.

That's what I tried to tell him.

No harm, no foul, Caden.

It's equity break anyway.

Ten minutes, everybody!

- Hazel.

- What?

- You don't like him, do you?

- Yeah, he reminds me of you.

I'm me. You don't need someone

to remind you of me.

Oh, don't worry, Caden.

I like you more.

I do. It's just, Sammy's fun.

- I'm fun.

- Oh, sweetie, no, you're not.

Hold on a sec. Yes?

- Is this Caden cotard?

- Yes.

This is Officer Melnin

of Schenectady P.D.

I'm sorry to inform you your mother's

been the victim of a home invasion.

- What does that mean?

- She is dead.

Was my father standing with us?

I don't know what he looks like.

He's dead.

- So he looks dead, I guess.

- Probably wasn't him, then.

He was a big guy.

Anyway...

Thanks for coming with me.

That's okay.

I asked Hazel...

...but she was busy tonight,

and you're the next best thing.

I mean, it's not

that you're the next best thing...

...but because you play her,

it feels comforting.

Does that make sense?

Although the thing is,

off-stage you're nothing like her.

But you play her very well, though.

Did Hazel mention

what she was doing tonight?

Because I called her house

before we left...

...and her husband told me

she wasn't gonna be back till late.

And I just thought that was weird

because she said Phillip was sick.

She's having dinner with Sammy.

- That's interesting.

- He's supposed to like me.

I'll have another talk with him.

Will you excuse me?

I need to go to the bathroom.

Don't forget your phone.

Thanks, Yammy.

It's Hazel. Leave a message or not.

It's your dime.

You can stay in my parents' room.

I thought someone

would have cleaned it up.

Who?

I don't know. Someone.

This is my room.

You can sleep here.

Where are you going to sleep?

- The living-room couch.

- Don't you want to sleep with me?

- It's just sex.

- Okay.

If you think it's okay.

- How can you be like that?

- I get undressed every day.

In front of someone is different.

I don't see why.

Maybe because

you have a beautiful body.

- Maybe that makes it easier.

- Yeah, I suppose it might.

Do you want to f***?

I do. Do you?

- Take your clothes off.

- I'm sorry.

I'm very, very lonely.

I don't...

...know what's wrong. I just...

I'm sorry.

Do you understand?

I mean,

can you understand loneliness?

Yeah. I mean...

I don't know, I feel okay, mostly.

F***ing might help.

I'm sorry.

It's okay, I don't mind.

Take your clothes off.

- You're very pretty.

- Thanks.

Sometimes I wish

I could be pretty like that.

What, you wish you were a girl?

Sometimes I think

I might have been better at it.

Interesting.

It's kind of a drag in a lot of ways.

- Do you like guys?

- No. I only love women.

Well, I'm getting cold.

You're pretty, Caden.

Thanks for saying that.

Come to bed, pretty Caden.

I shouldn't have drunk

so much f***ing beer last night.

- What are you gonna do about it?

- Get lunch. What are you going to do?

- For chrissake.

- Good, Roland.

Thanks, Caden.

We need to fire him.

We don't need to fire him.

Jeremy's playing to us.

Tell him to talk to Donna

and we'll hear what we hear.

Sammy's explaining too much.

It feels expository.

It needs to be shorthand, like,

"Jeremy, big."

Caden, can we stop a second?

Sure.

If Hazel's in love with Sammy,

and Caden's in love with Hazel...

...there would be a big confrontation

where Caden turns to me and says:

"It's obvious he's a substitute

for me."

Then I think Hazel would have

a good moment where she cries...

...or gets angry, I'm not sure which yet,

but I think it's dramatically sound...

- That didn't happen.

- I think Hazel would do that.

- But Hazel hasn't done that, Tammy.

- Caden, what do you think?

I feel like we could try it.

- Great.

- F***.

Let's try it. Maybe it could happen

at the director's table.

F***.

You know, Tammy's right.

I don't understand

why you're with Sammy.

He's nice, he's available,

he fucks me without crying.

Since when are you available?

Derek left because of you.

When?

How come you never told me?

I don't know, Caden.

How come a lot of things, huh?

F***. I gotta let go of the actor

who played Derek. What's his name?

What?

That is such a romantic response.

- I am touched.

- It's not my response.

Derek is played by...

We have enormous

budgetary concerns here.

...Joe.

- Stop. Okay? No, just stop.

I do not like Tammy,

and she's nothing like me.

- How can you like her, anyway?

- She looks like you.

- Joe Abernathy. No, she does not.

- She offered to have sex with me.

- Abernathy?

- Yeah.

- Was it good?

- It was nice.

I'm just being honest. It was nice.

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