Syrup
1
- [People chattering]
- [traffic noises]
[sirens approaching]
Narrator:
"Marketing 101"
[pop music playing]
if you live in any major city,
you see 800 ads a day.
In most of them, models are
going to be looking at you
- like they want to f*** you.
- [honks]
You're so used to this that you
don't even notice it anymore,
but your body does.
Your heart rate increases,
your pupils dilate,
you breathe faster...
- [fireworks popping]
- you become more alert.
- [Woman singing]
- You've been tapped.
Looking at a billboard
is supposed to feel
like love at first sight.
But it's not real.
It's just marketing.
And without that,
you wouldn't even know
who you are.
[Phone ringing]
You see, the first thing
is that you need to market yourself
before the ads do it for you.
Which is why they teach you
to pick a new name--
brand yourself
and become the product
- that you're trying to sell.
- Your name's Scat?
Yeah, my name's Scat.
Narrator:
A name he chosebecause it was closely associated
- with jazz, beat poetry and...
- Animal sh*t.
N-- like jazz.
It's a type of music.
You've had 16 sexual partners?
- Okay...
- Yeah.
Provided your blood test
comes back negative,
that'll be $54.
Fifty-- don't you think my sperm's
worth a little more than that?
Because you've had
16 sexual partners,
there's already a 90% risk...
Scat:
But I put on my formthat I don't have an STI.
Woman:
You could havewritten anything.
Ma'am, what am I supposed
to do with $54?
I can't pay my rent with $54.
Do you know how hard it is for me
to just give away my future spawn
for 54 bucks?
- How do you think they'd feel?
- Shh.
Cool name.
Narrator:
This is Scat's roommate Sneaky Pete.
He broke his jaw sophomore year
after a motorcycle accident,
and had it wired shut.
He couldn't speak for three months.
The accident just so happened
to coincide with "Marketing 304:
Persona Creation," where Sneaky Pete
received the only perfect score.
He hasn't said a word since.
You're a perfect candidate, Mr. Pete.
This is wonderful.
Provided your blood test...
Narrator:
Pete visited the health clinicand it wasn't because he had the flu.
That will be $270.
Narrator:
But the truth doesn't matter,
because perception is reality.
Woman:
...saving it for marriage.
Narrator:
It's all just...
marketing.
- [Cars honking]
- [distant barking]
- [chickens clucking]
- Woman on phone: $54 a week?
at her lemonade stand.
Mom, it's just temporary.
Competition's stiff in this climate.
- [Sighs] You're settling.
- I'll get--
You used to be so innovative.
Remember when you won
the science fair, Michael?
Mom, my name is Scat now.
Man on TV:
This form is now...- [TV channels changing]
- [bagpipes play]
Newscaster:
Recapping the stories...
Announcer:
Introducing the Tiddy Bear.
- That's T-I-D-D-Y Bear.
- [coughing]
The cute little guy
that eliminates all those
- irritating shoulder-strap problems.
- [coughing continues]
Designed to make
driving more comfortable,
the Tiddy Bear snaps
onto your shoulder strap
and moves up and down to eliminate
uncomfortable pressure...
- Going to bed?
- Now you can have you own Tiddy Bear,
and eliminate those annoying shoulder...
Narrator:
They say every person has three
million-dollar ideas in their life.
Scat had three of them
before he turned seven...
- See you tomorrow.
- ...and many after.
In high school, he won
for inventing
a new flavor of ice cream.
for the taste test.
They just wanted vanilla.
You see, people don't care
about something new.
They just want the same old thing
behind a new, sexier label...
- [soda opens]
- F***!
...because taste doesn't matter.
It's all about the branding.
And without that...
it's just syrup and water.
[Techno music playing,
woman vocalizing]
Pete, you awake?
I have an idea...
it's a drink idea. It just clicked!
I'm gonna run with this, Pete.
could be it for me.
I might even be able to pull you in too.
You've got great ideas.
What do you think?
Do I-- I mean do I go indie?
Do I try to sell
to one of the majors?
Yeah, it definitely
feels mainstream.
One of the majors.
I just need to get it
- [Pen clicking]
- Narrator:
Little did he knowher name is Six.
- Wow.
- [pop music playing]
Go party down now...
Narrator:
Six sounds like sex.
That's the point.
Studies show that
the more men associate
sex with decision-making, the more
likely their answer will be "yes"
- to anything that you might request.
- Morning, Six!
Narrator:
"What was the question?"you might ask.
- Man:
Grade A.- Man #2:
Great ass.[slams]
Do you really think it matters?
- [Phone rings]
- Addy. This is Beth.
Sure!
Welcome to the Addison Company,
how may I help you?
Hello, Beth is it?
I'm the brother to your
New Products marketing manager
and I...
[clears throat]
it's the whole family. We have
this special birthday surprise planned--
Who do you wish to see, sir?
- Six.
- I'm sorry,
New Products doesn't accept
unscheduled meetings.
Yeah, I know that, Beth.
That's why I'm here.
I was hoping you'd put me through to her
so that I can sort this all out.
- [Phone rings]
- Addy. This is Beth!
Sure, you're welcome!
I'm sorry, New Products doesn't
accept unsolicited calls.
Tell me, Beth, how do you suggest
that I contact my own sister?
- That's just absurd.
- Try her cell.
- Have a nice day, sir.
- [phone rings]
Addy. This is Beth.
Yeah, the ingredients
in Addison beverages
are suitable for a vegetarian.
[Alarm bell ringing]
Woman:
Should we reschedule?
Man:
No, I don't know.
[People chatting]
Man:
Not sure how longwe'll have to stay out here.
[Scat exhales]
- [clears throat]
- Woman:
All over my phone.Man:
I suppose we should stand over here.
You know how they first
marketed fire alarms?
- Hired arsonists.
- Yeah.
"Marketing 101
I hear 'em from my manicurist,
my Pilates instructor,
my girlfriend.
I don't need yours.
You don't need my what?
A drink idea.
Okay, I have to say it: bravo.
You've got the sex thing,
you've got the wealth thing,
- you've totally got the mystery thing.
- You think this is an image?
You're right.
Don't ruin the magic.
The insurance company only obligates
a four-minute mandatory evacuation
for all fire alarms,
which means you have 25 seconds
before Addy starts losing money.
What? Can't we set up
a meeting, something?
I have an idea that could make
your company millions of dollars
and you're giving me 30 seconds?
That's how long we have
to sell our customers.
It's called advertising.
Five seconds.
All right.
Okay okay!
8:
00 PM, Alain Ducasse.11:
00 AM, coffee.I don't do dinner.
12:
00, lunch!Abe & Arthur's.
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Syrup" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 2 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/syrup_19273>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In