T2 Trainspotting Page #4

and he says, "George Best..."

Greatest footballer of all time.

Exactly. "The greatest footballer of all time,

I have to ask you,

"'Where did it all go wrong?'"

Where did it all go wrong?

Where did it all go wrong?

-Where did it all go wrong, George Best?

-Yeah, but...

I think that the room service guy, you know...

I think he makes a very good point.

No?

He played for Hibs in 1979

between stints for

the Fort Lauderdale Strikers

and the San Jose Earthquakes.

I went to see him play, apparently.

My dad took me.

He said, "You've got to see this.

You've got to see this player.

"Got to see this greatest footballer

of all time."

So it was a big game, it was a big crowd,

and a big guy in front of me.

I couldn't see a thing. Not a single thing.

Not for 90 minutes.

But I've got the program, so...

I mean, I've always got that, you know?

Thin. Thin. Nobody was fat back then.

It's not just the football, is it?

-It's the end of austerity.

-There was no such thing even

-as a calorie till 1974.

-Welcome to the new age of

-civil rights, space exploration.

-You know what happened in 1974?

The first McDonald's in the UK.

He's basically John Barry

with football boots.

See, look at that guy.

He would be scrawny today.

A great, swaggering, filthy piece of music.

-But then... That was totally normal till 1974.

-It's insurrection!

-That's the beauty of what he does.

-You know what happened in 1974?

First McDonald's. South London. Woolwich.

These are not goals.

These are political statements.

It's still there.

I've been there myself several times.

You know nothing. You understand nothing.

You live in the past.

Where I come from

the past is something to forget

but here it's all you talk about.

You are clearly so in love with each other

that I feel awkward in your company.

Instead of looking at me

you should get naked and f*** each other.

Cheers.

-Up your ass.

-Placebo.

-There's a f***ing...

-Do it. Let's do it.

F*** off.

-Yeah!

-Yeah!

Jab.

Double jab.

Double jab, right hand.

One, two.

Junior. You coming, for f***'s sake?

-Frank.

-What? What is it now?

-The boy.

-What about him?

See, Frank, please don't be angry.

It's just, he's not really...

"Not really," what?

Sorry, Dad.

The f*** is that?

You cannot go with me dressed like that.

See, I don't really think, you know, I'm into it.

-He doesn't want to go, Frank.

-Doesn't want to go?

Where else you gonna go?

I was actually gonna go

and meet some friends from the college.

From the college, is it?

Right.

Well, that's a blow and no mistake,

no two ways about that.

Sorry, Dad.

Some way to treat your old man.

-Please, Frank.

-You shut the f*** up!

Hotel f***ing management.

You put him up to this.

Dad, it's not like that.

Shut the f*** up! "Dad."

Maybe I'm not your dad.

-I see it now.

-No, Frank.

-Dad, leave it.

-"Leave it"? I don't want to f***ing leave it!

What if I don't want to f***ing leave it?

What you gonna do about that, eh?

Tell you what... Free pop.

-No, Frank!

-Shut it.

Come on.

Stick one on then, you c*nt.

Take a f***ing swipe at me. Do it.

Do it!

No, you cannot f***ing do that.

See, if you were my son,

you'd have stabbed us there.

I'd be lying, breathing my last

through a hole in my chest.

But you cannot f***ing do that.

What do you want?

-Yep.

-Mark.

What?

Need a lawyer.

So, as I understand it,

the complainant, a deputy headmaster,

alleges that he's been

the victim of attempted extortion.

How does Sick Boy intend to plead?

It's actually "Simon" these days.

Right. Simon.

I see. Not guilty.

Fine.

Off the record,

the police have told me that the USB drive

does have Simon's prints on it

and that in searching the flat,

they found the mobile

that the bank details were sent from.

Right.

As well as the cocaine, of course.

Well, that was just for personal use.

Quite a lot for personal use.

Well, you know Simon.

I certainly remember him.

-Does he still take heroin?

-No.

Do you?

No. Not for 20 years.

That's really good.

Well done.

So, are you the woman in the video?

My face is not seen.

Do you have any identifying marks?

Tattoos on your buttocks?

Certainly not.

On your perineum?

It's the bit of skin

between your vagina and your bumhole.

That's disgusting.

So you're not vajazzled.

May I ask,

what is your relationship with the accused?

We are friends.

Mark?

I really don't have anything else to add.

Well...

Perhaps we have a defense.

Simon may claim that

the recording was consensual,

was, in fact,

commissioned by the complainant.

Hence the request for payment.

He pleads guilty on the cocaine,

which, remarkably, is a first offense,

enters into an approved rehab,

1,000 fine, six months suspended.

This consultation is free.

Should we go forward, here's the cost.

Well, that's very reasonable.

It's an hourly rate.

'Course.

Thanks.

Mark.

She's too young for you.

Here it is.

"EU Small Business Development Loans.

"Zero-interest loans distributed regionally

"towards projects that stimulate regeneration

of formerly industrial areas.

"Loans are available of up to 100,000.

"Applications should be made online,

"which may be followed by an invitation

to present a business plan."

Blah, blah, f***ing blah.

I'm trying to help you, Simon.

We're blowing all that

cashpoint money on lawyer's fees.

You could've got someone cheaper.

Well, I wouldn't have had to get anyone at all

if you hadn't engaged in f***ing blackmail.

Is there anything left of your 4,000

I gave you?

No, I've got expenses, just like everyone else.

What, all of it?

You snorted the whole f***ing wad?

It's called debt, Mark.

The point is, we need cash now,

not in six months' time.

And you realize what's at stake here?

I promised to set up a sauna for Veronika.

And if I don't get it up and running soon,

she's gonna leave me.

-F***ing leave you anyway.

-No, it's not gonna happen.

-Is she actually even with you?

-She's my girlfriend.

You've never even f***ed her.

I have f***ed her, and I'll f*** her again.

-What? When she was working at the sauna?

-That's not fair.

You know, since we're having

this conversation,

I can tell you that fully consensual,

emotionally driven, not-for-profit

sexual intercourse has been attained.

Simon, you're a romantic.

Veronika and I have had our rough patches.

I'll be the first to admit that.

Shall we submit this application?

Do what you want,

but I need someone on-site working.

I need progress.

Now.

All right, Spud, we're upstairs.

-All right, Mark.

-Come in.

When clients come in,

I want a sense of space.

Yeah.

Maybe some soft lighting, help punters feel

a bit more relaxed and that, you know?

Exactly. I'm so glad

that someone understands.

And they're off and racing.

Woody Bay was a little awkward

out of the stalls and also to gather stride.

Out well towards the right,

Fine 'n' Dandy is racing solo early on.

Steventon Star down the center

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