Table 19 Page #6

I really just wanted

to volunteer that

Jo is a good enough

name for a boy,

but a terrible curse for a girl.

Now let's see, a girl's name...

The only girl's name I can

think of right now is Nikki.

Well, it won't be Nikki, so...

Look, it's a wedding

I won't ruin.

I should go back in.

Tell Francie about the cake.

Let's sit out

for a little while.

The world feels

almost perfect right now.

Crap!

That's cool.

I'm cool.

I know why you came!

You love weddings? Please.

You couldn't get through

our wedding day fast enough.

It's funny it took me

so long because honestly,

Bina, I didn't think you had

it in you to surprise me.

Okay.

Yeah.

You're many things, Bina, but

surprising is not one of them.

When you went to the bathroom in the

nanny's room, you used the phone.

Uh-huh.

I know this because

a little light came on

in the bedroom

when you did that.

Okay.

So, who did you call, Bina?

You only know two people at this

wedding and I'm one of them.

You're arranging to meet with Henry

Grotsky after the wedding's over?

Hmm? Maybe back

in the ballroom

after the happy couple is gone

and I'm upstairs in the room?

You're gonna sell our diner

to Henry Grotsky.

You don't out-detective me,

Bina Kepp.

I came to have an affair.

Ha-ha.

No way. I know you.

Bina, an affair?

Bina!

Walter, would you come

with me, please?

Yeah. I'm flattered.

Good bye.

Good bye.

I should just let you

know that I've got

a little bit of eczema

behind my knees.

And, um, oh, last year

I had a cold sore,

but that was because Jalapeno

was using my washcloth.

And not just on his face.

But, yeah, otherwise,

I'm all fine so

just let me know when you want

to start the intercourse.

What?

What?

What?

Sorry, why am I here?

Not that.

I'm sorry.

Okay.

But no.

No?

Was it talking about Jalapeno

washing his testicles

that ruined the mood?

Um... Sure.

How bad is it?

Pot.

It's medicinal, right?

We could open our own

ladies' detective agency.

Put Mr. Kepp out of business.

How bad?

Oh, I'd say that

I'm due around

the same time you are.

So?

What did he say?

He said that I should be

in the Woodside

ballroom serving hors d'oeuvres

because they're

understaffed, apparently.

Did you have a chance

to ask the thing

I sent you over there for?

Oh, yes. Yes. Denny,

who's that man there,

he said that there's

no one registered

under the name you asked about.

Huh. Did you say

the right name?

Yeah, Denny. It's on his Woodside.

I saw it.

Right. Not him.

Oh, Fo, yes.

I said Torn Fo. "ls there

a Tom Fo here?", I said.

And he said...

He said, "No."

Okay. Right.

No Fo.

Yeah.

Sorry.

God, that's so weird.

Walter?

Yes.

Where are you going?

I gotta go and help with

the hors d'oeuvres

in the Woodside ballroom.

Why?

Understaffed.

So, you're not the friendliest

guy in the world.

I am noi.

How did you manage

to seduce Bina?

Bad timing? It is bad

timing, I realize that now.

If I tell you this, will

you stop walking with me?

Not sure.

It was summer camp.

I was a junior counselor.

She was a senior counselor.

Honestly, Renzo,

it's no big secret.

Camp does most of the seducing.

Less often than you think.

Oh.

Well, for me,

I was okay at dancing.

Probably better than okay.

So we danced.

And that's it.

That's all it takes.

Find out the one thing

you're good at,

make sure the girls

know about it.

Even if it's something

very private?

My understanding of women

seems poor rig ht now.

I'd say go with your gut.

Ah...

Francie doesn't even

remember me, does she?

Ah, those rotten kids.

What did you

ever see in that boy?

I can't even think about it.

What if you came here

for a different reason today?

What if you went away

with someone better?

What if I know how to find

your wedding Crasher?

Go with your gut. Go with your gut.

Go with your gut.

Megan-Ann, Mr. Pfaffler,

you probably don't remember me.

We're not going to

talk about it.

Of course not.

Let's just watch the kid

in his moment of triumph.

There is something I forgot to mention

the first time I arrived here,

and that is that I

have a gigantic penis.

Excuse me?

Oh, my God!

Oh...

Oh, sh*t.

That's disgusting. This

wedding is over for you.

I need you to give me

the phone number of somebody

that I can call to get you out

of here right now.

Oh! Mmm-mmm.

So... Mr. Pfaffler

said he's gonna call my morn.

And the girl?

She started to cry.

I think I didn't

describe it appealingly.

We'll work on the wording

before you try again.

You're coming with me.

Hello, friend.

Just stay right there.

Is this the guy you meant?

Nope. I'm pregnant

with his baby,

but not the guy I'm looking for.

Wow. One cigarette break and

you miss an awful lot, right?

On. This guy?

That guy, this guy.

Huck something.

Yeah. I know who that guy is,

but his name is not Huck.

No Lane's really named

Huck anymore.

Oh, sh*t.

Right.

Okay, let's go.

Come on!

Yeah.

Only you are my shining star

Dom you go away

Yeah, baby

Wanna be right here

where you are

Until my dying day

Yeah, baby

Nice bit of cake?

Oh, Nanny Jo, everybody...

Sorry it's taken us

so crazy long to get here.

We're so glad

you could all make it.

You're the Kepps, right?

Yeah.

My morn says

your fries are better

than the ones in

all of my dad's diners.

Well, that's not what I thought

I'd leave with here today,

but it's something,

so thank you.

Sure.

We hope it all

works out for you.

It'd be great if it did.

Cousin Walter?

I'm glad you could come.

Thank you for inviting me.

It was simply amazing.

Truly wonderful day.

Oh, thank you.

Ah.

He's such a great guy.

Yeah.

Sorry about being

so far away from you today.

No.

I felt like we weren't even

in the same place, you know?

No. It's the same wedding no matter

what table you're at, right?

Yeah.

I'm so glad you came over because

I was just saying I'm so tired.

Gonna head out.

Oh. Okay. Yeah.

Okay, so...

You look so beautiful.

Thank you.

And congratulations

or best wishes

or whatever

you're supposed to say.

And this was great.

Bye, guys.

Have a good night.

Hey.

I know I'm probably

the last person

in the world you ever

want to see again.

And I get that.

Totally understand.

And it will probably suck

for you to have to

see me again

under any circumstances

which is why

I wanted to say that

whatever happened between

us and however it ended

I think, you know,

I could be a really good dad,

probably, if you'll just...

If you'll let me.

So, that's it.

Good bye.

What are you doing?

I don't know how you fixed this,

but it really meant a lot.

Well, it's been so great

to catch up with you all.

I hope you all got to dance

to your heart's content.

Do you still have

the golden bird?

Oh, Nanny Jo.

You don't even

remember it, do you?

No, of course I do.

I don't know why I should

be embarrassed about this,

but I lost it almost immediately

after you gave it to me.

I cried so hard

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