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Tabloid Page #10
and we healed together,
and we formed a bond,
a friendship.
Booger was a very special dog.
Not only was he
but one day he just got up
and unlocked the door,
and then he started
dialing 911 with his paw.
He had a big button phone.
And I'd say, "Booger, help!
Dial 911."
He'd go, whomp!
"Booger, I need a towel.
Go get me a towel
out of the dryer, buddy."
He'd go in there into the dryer
and get me a towel.
"Hey, Booger, get me a pop
out of the refrigerator."
And he'd go get me one,
so he wouldn't burst it
with his teeth
and drop it in my lap.
He got me through
that tough time.
For ten years, he was my helper.
passed away in my arms
I tried everything
in the world to save him.
I took him to every
veterinary hospital I could.
I said, "You can't die, buddy.
"You're all I have.
We're a package deal.
You can't die."
That was the last command
I gave him, "You can't die."
And he looked at me as if he
didn't want to disappoint me.
And those eyes,
with age-old wisdom,
those dark brown eyes
looked at me like, "Don't worry.
I'll see you again.
This is not the end for us."
I just wanted to go to heaven,
and I thought God
would just have Booger there
on a cloud for me or something.
And I'd had such a sad life,
you know,
with all the tabloid mess.
And I thought,
"I just want the hurt to stop.
And I can't do without him."
You know, I thought, "Well,
I'll just give it a stab."
I contacted Dr. Byeong Chun Lee
and asked him
if it was possible.
I wrote him a letter in Korean,
translated it,
and then tracked down
his phone number.
And he goes,
"I can clone your dog."
I said, "Are you sure?
I mean, is it possible
I could have my old boy back?"
He goes, "I can."
Do you ever feel like God?
What their plan was
is to take a little piece
of tissue from Booger's tummy,
put it in liquid nitrogen
for its safe trip back
to Seoul, Korea.
They flew back with the help
of Homeland Security.
Homeland Security
Guarding Booger.
Well, to me,
it was Spirit Booger.
That's what we called it.
It was like an orb of light
moved along the fuselage
of the plane.
And people were saying,
"What is that?"
But I knew.
I knew it was old Spirit Booger.
I closed my eyes, and I said
a silent prayer, and I said,
"Oh, Heavenly Father,
please take good care of him."
And it was like he spoke
to my heart, and said,
"Don't worry.
"He's with me, and he's fine.
"And you, you are going
to be fine too,
"because I've got Booger 1,
"but I'm sending you back
Booger 2
and a little something extra."
- I get this
long-distance phone call.
It's Dr. Hong.
"Miss Brenann, what is best news
I can bring to you?"
And I said, "We're pregnant?
We're pregnant!"
He said, "We are."
On August the 5th,
I flew to Seoul, Korea.
Well, I found out what
the little something extra was
that Heavenly Father
had promised me.
There were five.
Five?
Five cloned puppies,
all exactly like Booger,
with half the world press
crowding around.
They just looked like
little tiny mini Boogers.
It was the strangest feeling.
I was sitting in a hotel
in Seoul, Korea,
and one of them got up
and opened the door,
and he was four months old.
And I just went...
I thought, "How'd he know that?
I didn't train them to do that."
You know, they have
those little refrigerators
like a cabinet, in hotels.
got that silver knob,
and jerked it open
with his teeth
just like old Booger used to do.
And then, when one of them
got the leash
and went over to the door
and dropped it like,
"Walk me, now,"
like Booger did,
it blew me away.
I said, "These are his clones."
It was $25,000,
if I can remember.
I believe, $150,000.
Was it?
God.
She must like her dogs.
I don't know.
Some girl.
It was in all the papers.
to be the Joyce McKinney,"
because she pretended
it wasn't her to start with.
She called herself
Brenann McKinney.
Something like Brenann,
was it?
Berman McKinney,
or something like that.
I forget what name she used.
I knew right away it was Joyce.
Why?
a photograph.
And she hadn't changed
that much.
I thought if I used
my middle name
that I would just be left alone
by the press,
because I don't see
any connection at all
between cloned puppies
and a 32-year-old
sex-in-chains story.
I'm sorry, but I don't see
the connection.
But you should have seen
the way Associated Press...
so bad.
In fact, if there's an attorney
listening to this
I've got one.
"I'll sue anybody," she said,
"who says I'm
that Joyce McKinney.
I'm not that Joyce McKinney."
But she had to admit
that she was.
I was afraid to have a love
affair of any kind after Kirk.
I was afraid to kiss a guy.
So I chose just
to be celibate and...
"I gave my youth to men,
and my old age I give to dogs
that I trust."
Dogs and children love me.
They love Joyce McKinney,
because they sense in me
an innocence, you know?
They sense in me a gentleness.
And they don't read
tabloid papers.
They love me for me.
She's not an evil person.
I mean, she's just a bit crazy,
eccentric, self-obsessed,
and self-involved
and manipulative
and barking mad, probably,
basically, but...
"Barking mad."
Yeah.
I wish we had that expression
over here.
You can have it.
You can tell yourself
a million times,
"God knows the truth."
And it would be nice
if all you had to deal with
every day was God.
But you don't.
You have to deal with people.
I didn't plan on any of
the tabloids destroying my life
or the Mormons or the press
or the wire services.
That was not in my plans.
I really didn't have
much choice
other than to make
some kind of move in my life.
I had promised God
Finally.
No matter how much it hurt me.
my pickup truck.
I had an entire cab
full of materials.
I had court cases,
court records.
I had all
the interview witnesses.
I had all the exhibits.
I had the original
modeling portfolio
which matched the head
that was put on the naked body.
My whole life is
And this was an old pickup.
They pried the wing open
with an orange screwdriver,
and they took coat hangers,
pulled the door open,
took absolutely everything
documenting the story
I've just told you,
took everything,
with the exception of one little
yellow laundry basket
which had somehow
wedged under the seat.
At least I had something to show
that this nightmare ordeal
happened to what was once
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"Tabloid" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/tabloid_19290>.
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