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Tabloid Page #6
as I was the first."
I wanted him to be strong
and say, "Yes, I love her,
"and I'm gonna tell
and let's get rid of this."
But he was so scared.
You know, you can tell a lie
long enough till you believe it.
For 55 minutes, Ms. McKinney
poured out her statement
to an occasionally
confused magistrate.
At one point, he stopped her
and said, "I'm lost."
And Ms. McKinney, speaking
put the whole case in this way:
Referring to the young Mormon,
Kirk Anderson, she said,
"He put me in prison
to save himself
from excommunication
and family disgrace."
This was a phony kidnap
according to Ms. McKinney.
Referring to the episode down
in the Devon cottage, she said,
"We had three days of fun,
food, and sex."
By this time,
with the Joyce McKinney story.
That was all
in the pubs and taverns
and restaurants.
"Where were you when you read
You know.
I mean, it had kinky sex.
It had religion.
It had a beauty queen,
kidnap at gunpoint,
chains, being spread-eagled.
It had Mormon missionaries.
And there was something
in that story for everyone.
It was a perfect tabloid story.
I mean,
the public's fascination
with my love life.
I'm not a movie star.
I'm just a person,
a human being,
that was caught in
an extraordinary circumstance.
The Daily Express
and the Mirror were locked
over the Joyce McKinney story.
And then it all
kind of went away
until she was released on bail.
And then there was a kind
I was let out on bail
to clear my name.
Somebody sent a limousine
to pick me up at the prison,
and here I exit the prison,
and I mean,
I've got lice powder in my hair.
I'm supposed to be
this ex-beauty queen,
and all the cameras are there,
and, you know, I look like...
That was my first taste
of the press.
And when I got back
to the bed-and-breakfast,
I started to very quietly
get out of the limousine.
I'm thinking, "I wonder
who sent this car, you know,
at the prison to pick me up?"
And I was going to go in
and hug my mom and dad and say,
"I'm home!"
All of a sudden,
the sky lit up with flashbulbs.
I was suddenly a celebrity.
I didn't ask to be a celebrity.
I didn't want to be a celebrity.
But it was like a wave.
It was like a "phenomen-imum."
So what have these last
few months been like for you?
Well, I've been very busy.
It's been amazing,
the way the public
has responded to my case.
I got close to 1,000 letters
from the British public.
The rest of the time
that I'm not answering letters
or something of this nature,
I'm working on my book.
What kind of a book is that?
Well, this is my life story,
and it's the story
of how I met Kirk,
and the name of it is
A Very Special Love Story.
I had said something like
I loved Kirk so much,
I'd have skied naked
down Mount Everest
with a carnation in my nose.
When I went into
the bed-and-breakfast,
there were pink carnations
all over the room!
There were pink carnations
in the closet, in the sink,
on the floor, on the bed.
Sacks of mail
from all over the world.
People wanted me to autograph
their baby's bellies,
their elbows,
their cigarette packs!
I got marriage proposals.
I got maps with directions
to guys' houses saying,
"Please come and kidnap
and rape me anytime, honey!"
It kind of got a life
of its own.
I remember, I was at a party.
It was an after-party
and Johnny Travolta was there.
And the Bee Gees came over
and asked me to dance,
and, you know...
Keith Moon... he was the drummer
for The Who... spied me,
and he told
one of the reporters,
"I want to meet the girl."
He was with his girlfriend.
I mean, there was nothing
between me and Keith,
but he came over,
and he says,
"Joycie girl, I'm gonna give you
a big old smooch."
And he just kissed me!
And that was
just getting started.
Peter McKay, my editor,
said to me,
"Why don't you hire
a Rolls-Royce
"and take Joyce to the premiere
of The Stud
and upstage
the show business element?"
could actually do this?
Could you upstage Joan Collins
with Joyce McKinney?
Well, we did.
She stepped out
of this Rolls-Royce,
and all the press went mad.
I mean, it was as if...
I don't know...
Marilyn Monroe got out
or the queen.
I mean,
certainly more excitement
than when Joan Collins
got out of her limousine.
She returned home at midnight
like Cinderella.
Presumably, Keith May
because they disappeared
a day later.
believing that the couple
would leave the country
if it were granted.
Since their disappearance
was discovered on Thursday,
the police have kept a watch
on all air and seaports,
but they were last seen by
neighbors on Wednesday evening.
I never fled.
Don't use the word "fled."
I resent the word "fled."
I left.
- They went to the airport
as deaf-mutes, I gather.
Quite clever, really.
I went, and I got the birth
certificates of two dead people.
I didn't figure they'd mind.
And I got me a travel visa.
I put on a granny wig,
and I made me a fat suit.
You know what a fat suit is,
like in Norbit.
I said,
"Keith, we're going home."
So I dye his hair coal black,
and I made him
and darkened his skin,
like Pedro Gonzalez.
a troop of deaf actors
going to the States via Canada.
Well, let me tell ya,
I put some little signs on us,
and it said,
"I am deaf, but I can lip-read.
Please enunciate your words
slowly and speak clearly."
I remember the stewardess said,
"Get these dummies
on the plane!"
The other one said,
"Shh, They'll hear you!"
And she goes, "No, they won't!
They're stone deaf!"
We got to Canada,
and it's at night,
and they stop us in immigration.
I had 13 suitcases
full of news clips.
hundreds of pictures of me,
magazine covers
and all this stuff.
They're gonna look at me
and say, "Oh, oh, oh, oh!"
They go, "13 suitcases?
You immigrating?"
And I go...
And she goes, "Oh, you're deaf!
Okay!
We cannot get our interpreter
at night!"
And she's talking louder
and louder.
She gives me a pencil,
"I tired.
May I go now, please?"
Lady goes, "Eh, go on."
Ten days later,
I was in my office
in the Daily Express building.
The telephone rang
And I picked it up,
and it was Joyce.
She said that she wanted to sell
her story to the Daily Express
for 40,000.
for me to fly out to Atlanta
and wait in the Atlanta airport
Hilton hotel.
I went to the door,
and there outside
were these two Indians...
like Indians from Calcutta.
They should have been arrested
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"Tabloid" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/tabloid_19290>.
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