Tad Jones and the Secret of King Midas Page #4

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The guidebook was right.

Spanish food is awesome.

The coast is clear. Come on.

(TIFFANY GRUNTING)

Whoever said

archaeology isn't glamorous?

Oh, that wasn't so bad.

- (RUMBLING)

- Uh-oh.

(ALL SCREAMING)

Huh?

Baal!

We made it.

I told you! The rat was right!

The rat was right! (LAUGHS)

Hey, look.

TIFFANY:
A golden trail.

TAD:
Midas was here.

(TIFFANY GASPS)

Midas' collar piece.

Uh, guys,

let's get out of here, okay?

This place is creepy even for

my standards.

- (RUMBLES)

- (GASPS)

No, no, no, no, no!

Oh, let's pray to the Pachamama.

Oh, Goddess of Earth, please,

help us at this time of...

Oh, I guess she isn't listening.

Maybe she was listening.

(ALL SCREAMING)

The room is a trap!

(PANTING)

- We've got to get out of here!

- Hold on!

The water has to drain out somewhere.

(INHALES DEEPLY)

(MUMBLING)

(MUMBLING)

- (GASPING)

- Tad! I can't hold on much longer!

(INHALES DEEPLY)

(MUMBLING)

(MUFFLED SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

I found a way out. Help me!

(ALL SCREAMING)

(BOTH GROAN)

I'm fine, by the way.

- Not that anyone asked.

- (RAT SQUEAKING)

Oh, I'm sorry, little guy.

We'll find you another sewer.

(EXHALES)

(GASPS)

We did it.

(LAUGHS) Tad, we did it!

- We did it! My gosh!

- We did it! Yeah!

RACKHAM:
Congratulations

to the happy couple.

Tiffany?

- Tad?

- Sara!

Stop right there!

- You release her!

- (GUNS COCKING)

You know, as soon as possible.

Give me the piece or I'll end her.

Tad, don't do it.

I'm sorry. I have no choice.

Please.

And the notebook, please.

Give me the notebook,

or you won't see her again.

You're despicable.

Yes. It's all here.

Let's go!

TIFFANY:
You have no right!

We didn't do all that work

just to have you steal the piece.

That's what happens

when you play against Jack Rackham.

(CAR ENGINE STARTS)

(GRUNTS)

Useless mutt!

Sara!

I thought I lost you.

Oh, I wish I had bodily fluids

so I could cry at reunions.

- Belzoni.

- (CHIRPS)

- (JEFF BARKS)

- Hey, buddy. Glad to see you.

Jeff, what happened to you?

We need to move fast before Rackham

finds the other pieces of the collar.

I wouldn't worry about that.

Tad, what are you talking about?

He wanted the notebook,

but never said anything of

it being complete.

Oh, well done, Tad!

Yeah? Well, no, I think...

So, where do we go?

To Cappadocia, in Turkey.

There are hundreds of temples there.

Rackham won't be able to find

the right one without these pages.

That would give us a head start.

So let's go, guys!

Let's go to Turkey.

- (HORNS HONKING)

- (TYRES SCREECHING)

Here we are.

Thanks. How much is it?

This fare, I do it for free,

my palomita.

Oh, thank you.

What is this "palomita"

he keeps talking about?

(GIGGLES)

My gift to you.

It embodies the heart, soul

and the belly of our people.

I'll be waiting for you

under the lights of the Alhambra.

And you know it.

(HORN PLAYING LA CUCARACHA)

Spaniards are crazy.

- Okay.

- (SHIP HORN BLARING)

That Captain will try to find us

a spot on his ship.

Great.

Check this, Tad.

This is the area

where we should find the next piece.

Temple of Ariniddu.

Baal's wife. Goddess of the light.

Cool! So what about the third temple?

I don't know much about it.

The only clue

is this symbol that appears

in everything related to Midas.

It seems to be

some sort of personal mark.

Wow, you rock, Sara.

Uh...

Tad...

- Yes, Sara?

- Uh...

I wanted you to know that

after all this time

we've been apart, I...

(CAPTAIN WHISTLES)

Come on, are we leaving or what?

I'm dying here.

Again.

Oh, sorry, I, uh...

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Okay. Thank you. Thanks a lot.

Hey, guys, I got us a trip.

(SHIP HORN BLARES)

Tad, you're the best.

By the mummy Juanita's teeth,

that is a floating metropolis.

(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)

Not that one.

That one.

Forget metropolis.

That's not even a tiny little village.

- Hey, Tiff.

- Hi.

Can I ask you something?

Go for it.

Oh! That's so sweet.

So do you think Sara will like it?

Oh. Sara.

TAD:
Yeah. I don't know

if it's good enough for her.

(RETCHING)

(VOMITING)

- (BREATHING HEAVILY)

- Is everything okay?

(GROANS) Perfect.

It's just that I'm a feet-on-the-ground

type of guy, you know.

A feet-under-the-ground type, actually.

Oh, my... Ooh.

You don't look much better than I do.

All that's happened got me thinking.

Yeah. Come on, cheer up,

everything'll be fine.

I've been so focused on my work,

I feel I've left people out of my life.

(SIGHS) One thing's for sure.

Talking won't solve anything, darling.

You've got to take the initiative.

Less conversation, more action.

That's actually good advice.

Oh, well, I got to confess

it isn't mine.

That's what the guy in Vegas

was singing about.

It took me a while to learn the lyrics.

Well, can you try it on me?

Just to see how it looks.

Oh. Yeah, good idea.

I think you're right. I should

stop talking and start taking action.

There you go. That's my Sara.

Thanks. You've been very helpful.

Enjoy the advice. It's for free.

I'll keep on evacuating the paella.

Oh, here it comes.

(VOMITING)

Okay. More action.

Get right to the point.

(CHIRPING)

It looks great on you.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Thank you.

Unbelievable.

They haggle over everything here.

Oh, this is amazing!

We're about to find the

second piece of the collar.

Water?

Don't be so excited.

Rackham could be around.

Take your stuff.

We can't lose any time.

Okay, let's go.

MUMMY:
"Okay, let's go."

This can't be happening.

Let me see...

"This can't be happening."

Are you serious?

What are you doing?

Well, you're always complaining

about my human disguises

so, from now on,

I'm going to be exactly like you,

Mr. Perfect Human.

Check this out.

(SINGING)

I'm Tad Jones, I can't dance...

It's official.

Your friend is a total freak.

Come on. Mummy Bones on the case.

That is...

I am not at all like that!

And what are you doing

with a paella dish?

It's my present. I love it.

I'm taking it everywhere.

I would never wear

that thing on my back.

Okay, fine. Let's see

what the little monster thinks.

Hi, critter. I'm Tad. Super Cookie!

No, Jeff. I'm Tad. Come here.

MUMMY:
Don't pay attention

to that impostor.

- Take this one. Here.

- I'm the real Tad.

- Look what I got!

- TIFFANY:
Shh!

I want three teams.

Spread out and keep your eyes open.

- There are dozens of temples around.

- Yes, sir.

(PANTING)

(JEFF BITES)

- (JEFF SNARLING)

- (SCREAMING)

(SCREAM ECHOES)

(MUFFLED GROANING)

Report back here in three hours.

Okay, this is the place.

Whoa. What a view.

- Isn't it beautiful, Sara?

- Huh?

Sure.

Yeah, well...

SARA:
It's getting dark.

We should all split up

to locate the temple.

- Great. I'll go with...

- Oh, oh!

With me. Me and Tad. Brothers for life.

Let's see who finds the temple first.

Boys versus girls.

Let's go, Tiffany.

Oh, thank goodness I stepped in.

What's going on here?

I was trying

to spend some time with Sara.

Haven't you noticed

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