Tadpole Page #2

OK. Safe trip.

Hey, happy Thanksgiving, pal.

Say, how old are you, anyway?

Forty.

Me, too.

Doesn't it suck?

Ah, it's not so bad.

Your wife

probably didn't leave you

I'm not married, actually.

Well, don't wait too long.

All the best ones get taken.

I hear you there.

I adore French songs

of this period.

You're not French.

- It's part of my act.

- What act?

You gonna buy me a drink?

Bob, the lady's dry.

Well, I got to go feed the cat.

Why so glum, chum?

I have high expectations.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

You have beautiful hands.

Oh, Jeez. Oscar?

Oh, hiya, Diane.

Top of the night to you.

Oscar, you don't look so hot.

Oh, don't worry about me.

Hey... oh, careful!

Careful. Come here.

Come on. Come on.

Let me get you some coffee.

No, no, no. I gotta get home.

No, no.

You don't want your father...

to see you like this. Come on.

My wallet was stolen.

- You got mugged?

- Sort of.

What do you mean, "Sort of"?

She was very pleasant about it.

- Take your coat?

- No.

Well, come in.

Make yourself comfortable.

Ohh. It got chilly in here.

Hey, that's Eve's scarf.

Yeah, I know. I like it.

I might forget to give it back.

Ohh! Oh, dear.

OK. What hurts?

Everything.

OK.

- Diane?

- Mm-hmm?

What's it like being forty?

Not as bad as people make out.

Except everyone you know

seems kind of tired.

Worn out, you mean?

Yeah, like

they've seen it all before.

Eve's not like that.

No, Eve's not like that.

And you're not like that.

It's nice.

You know what?

This is really hard to do

with your sweater on.

Eve

Ow!

Oh, Jeez.

Morning

Diane's good, isn't she?

Yes. Yes.

I'm Phil, the boyfriend.

Boyfriend. I'm Oscar Grubman.

I'm just a friend.

So, how long's

she been doing you?

This was the first time,

I swear to you...

and the only time.

You're kind of young,

aren't you?

Yes, way too young.

Young and stupid.

Pinched nerve?

Excuse me?

Did you twist your neck

or something?

Hell, I didn't see

a chiropractor...

till I turned forty.

Ohh! Yeah.

Um, very pinched nerve.

Actually, three of them. Um...

medial collateral, collateral,

and hyper collateral...

although the hyper

wasn't quite as severe.

So, the old girl

give you your money's worth?

Good morning.

Didn't hear you come in.

I just got here.

Oscar here was saying

you worked him over pretty good.

No, I didn't. I mean...

yes, you worked out

the pinched nerve in my back.

Yeah, he had quite

a knotted muscle.

My God, the pain

right here in my shoulder.

Took a lot of work.

Thank God my vocation

gives me such pleasure.

We should all be so blessed.

Well, thanks again, Mrs. Lodder.

I'll put that check

in the mail pronto.

Nice to meet you, Phil.

Hey, you take care, buddy.

- I'll walk you out.

- Uh, please don't bother.

No. It's no bother.

Diane, no one can ever

find out about last night, OK?

- OK.

- I mean it. I'm serious.

It's very important to me...

that Eve and my dad

never find out about this.

OK. All right. I won't tell.

Good. Phil, either.

He's a lot bigger than me.

- Actually, he's not.

- Diane, please.

OK. All right. Mum's the word.

Thank you.

Give that to Eve for me

Hey, Oscar.

That girl sure was pretty.

Who?

Professor Tisch's girl.

Oh, Daphne.

Yeah, I guess she's pretty.

Is she new to the pond,

Tadpole?

Don't you sleep?

So

Hi, dad.

I didn't hear you come in.

Daphne and I

got to talking last night.

Is that right?

Is Eve around?

No

She left for work at dawn

Why is she working today?

She likes to go in when there's

no one around to bug her.

- So she's by herself.

- What's that?

Nothing. Nothing.

Picnic?

Sort of.

But you have time

to help old dad...

do some grocery shopping,

don't you?

- Now?

- Yeah. Come on.

Dad,

I thought you were gonna...

take some time

to work on your book today.

Well, come on.

I mean, that can wait.

How many people

really are dying to read...

The Life and Times

of Arnobias of Sicca?

Well, I think you really

underestimate your audience.

There are a lot of

Arnobias of Sicca fans...

out there that

you're completely unaware of.

- Really? You think so?

- Yeah.

I mean, the kids at school...

the ones in the know, anyway...

talk about Arnobias of Sicca...

like he was

the hip ancient scholar.

- Arnobias. Really?

- You picked a winner.

You should feel really good

about it and really motivated.

You put it that way. I do

feel pretty damn motivated

Either way,

we need paper towels, cereal...

and we're completely out

of cheesecake.

Dad, I'm not really

into cheesecake anymore.

Grab your coat

Taxi!

- Who is she, Oscar?

- Who, dad?

Where did you sleep last night?

I know it wasn't at Charlie's.

Come clean.

This is your old man here.

What happened?

Did you, uh...

run into some buddies

from Chauncey...

go downtown,

get a couple of beers...

and stare at the hippies

in Greenwich Village?

There are no hippies in

Greenwich Village anymore, dad.

What is it now?

Punks, druggies...

folk-mopers, cross dressers,

bikers?

- Bankers.

- Bankers?

- Oh, God, has it come to that?

- I'm afraid so.

What a state of affairs.

Bankers?

So, where did you

spend the night?

I ran into a...

- A girl?

- Yes, a girl.

- A pretty girl?

- Yes, a pretty girl.

Oh, Oscar.

It wasn't a... you know...

It wasn't a call girl?

Dad! Of course it wasn't

a call girl.

What's wrong with you?

Kids are crazy these days.

- I bumped into a girl.

- From Chauncey?

Yes, a girl from Chauncey.

Well, what was her name, Oscar?

Her name?

Is it someone

Eve and I should meet?

No! I mean,

there just isn't any point.

Her name's, uh, Miranda Spear,

and she's just some dumb girl...

Hey, have some respect, Oscar.

Maybe this girl's

only fifteen, sixteen.

And maybe right now

her interests...

are different from yours,

but girls have things to say.

They can be funny.

Consider them, Oscar.

Listen to them.

So, I should listen to girls...

like you listen to Eve,

you mean?

Exactly.

Oscar.

What a nice surprise.

I brought you lunch.

You're kidding

Ha ha!

Wait. Wait one second.

Wow. Cookies, too.

Yeah. I know you like 'em.

Thank you.

So, what are you working on?

I'm monitoring

the depolarization...

of cardiac myocytes.

Oh. Hmm.

Pericardium...

mitral, aorta...

such beautiful words.

Poetry.

Never thought of it that way.

It's, uh, pretty

complicated business.

No. The heart is simple.

Fixing it is complicated.

So, when you're working on...

whatever it is

you're working on...

I mean...

how do you see the heart

as anything more than a...

- Than a pump?

- Yeah.

I mean, in the end,

it's just an organ, right?

But, symbolically...

Your heart

can fit right in my hand.

The heart is this

incredibly smart machine.

It beats seventy to eighty

times a minute...

and in the space

of each beat...

sends deoxygenated blood

to your lungs...

and oxygenated blood

to all your organs.

Cut the aorta,

and you'll release...

a jet of blood

that hits the ceiling.

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