Take the 10 Page #4

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[chuckles] So...

another glorious day at work

coming for you, huh?

You psyched

to break down cardboard boxes,

and stock the shelves with cans all day?

Get a high-protein breakfast in.

Don't run out of steam,

all that hard labor.

You learned sarcasm at the ripe age of 35.

Good for you, Johnny.

Just move out and get a real job.

No one wants you here.

Why don't you get a real job?

I'll get one when you get one.

I'm a diabetic, a**hole.

- I have to live with Mom and Dad.

- How's the tallboy treating your diabetes?

[beeper beeping]

Hold that thought.

[sniffles] Whoops.

I just made 300 bucks.

What are you scalping?

- Strokes tickets at the Greek.

- Are they even real?

Yeah, they're totally real.

They're Ticketmaster approved.

[mimics crying, then explosion]

- All over your face.

- Is that what

- you sound like when you're coming?

- Yeah.

[beeper beeping] Excuse me.

You wanna go to that Rock the Bells show?

I got two tickets I gotta unload.

But it was sold out four months ago.

How much?

For you?

Brotherly price.

[clicking tongue]

Three hundred bucks.

Come on. I can't afford that.

Just give 'em to me for free.

Check Craigslist.

These are going for 800 minimum.

- But your tickets are fake.

- The concert's gonna be so huge,

you just show up,

they'll glance at your ticket,

and let you go in.

This is my area of expertise now.

If I wanted to know the price

on some shitty meat

in the meat market,

I'd probably ask you.

[sniffles, then clears throat]

- 'Cause that's your profession, dipshit.

- I'll give you 100 for two.

Blow my dick with your mouth.

You hear that, Patti?

- Johnny wants me to suck his dick.

- Chris. Language.

Watch what you say in front of Patti,

you disrespectful c*nt.

- [music playing over speaker]

- [Johnny] Oh, sh*t.

Oh, sh*t. We're nailing this.

Oh, my God. Yeah.

We're in the pocket.

So snug.

[safe beeping]

[music continues playing]

- Perfect. Perfect so far.

- [car horn honking]

What is that?

Shut up!

Wait. Okay. All right.

Pause it, pause it, pause it.

Come on. What was that?

We were having a perfect game.

Oh, the idiot.

Your drumming was incredible, by the way.

Keep up that intensity when we unpause.

Hey, Chris!

Chris!

Your dyke friend's here

to pick you up in his dogshit car.

Tell him to stop honking his whack horn.

He's ruining our game. Wait.

Were you in my room?

No, you paranoid f***.

- Stay out of my sh*t.

- Nobody's in your sh*t, Johnny.

You're poking around in my sh*t.

[whispering]

And I don't like it.

You're sniffing around...

[sniffing] sniffing my sh*t.

- Why are you whispering?

- Why are you?

- You are.

- You sniffing around my sh*t

- makes me so mad.

- Don't worry.

- Out of my sh*t.

- Stop.

- Stay out of my sh*t.

- Stop whispering.

- I'm not whispering. You are.

- I'm not whispering.

You stay out of my sh*t.

- Stop it.

- Stay out of my sh*t.

Bye, Patti.

F*** you.

Come on.

All right, Patti.

Sack up, we're going back in.

- Feels like the game's cheating, right?

- Yeah, it is.

I'm gonna sue Xbox.

[Chester speaking in Portuguese]

Let's go, let's go!

Cool. Hey, don't slam the door.

- Don't slam the...

- What the f*** are you listening to?

I'm not going to a concert

with his fake tickets.

Sell 'em

and get your car out of the impound.

- Grow up.

- [woman] You have a very bright future

ahead of you, Chris.

This is how you come at me

this early in the morning, Greg?

Why don't you ask about

my grandma's dementia?

Dude, that was rude of me.

Too early for that, you're right. My B.

You wanna hear something messed up?

I got two tickets

to Rock the Bells going to waste.

That's 500 bucks down the drain.

Two? I've been looking all over for those.

- I checked StubHub and everything. 500?

- Here.

That's way too much. I won't touch 'em

- until you give me a better price.

- I mean, I can do it for you for 300.

- Three hundred?

- Yeah.

Oh, sh*t.

- Yo, what...? Yo, what the f***?

- What?

Why you trying to sell me fake tickets?

- What?

- I thought we were cool.

I just took you to Jamba Juice

and bought you a ginger shot.

Ginger shots aren't cheap.

You think I'm the ginger fairy?

Like ginger grows on trees?

Out of all people,

I know how much ginger shots cost.

It's an expensive addition to a smoothie.

I get that.

I'm just trying to sell you great tickets

to an amazing event.

I feel like Jesus over here.

I'm trying to give you something

and I'm being persecuted.

Really? Jesus was scalping tickets

for the Last Supper?

If you don't want 'em, good.

Deal's off. Forget it.

Those are fake. I know they are.

The real ones have a security foil on 'em.

Those aren't real.

Real or fake, no one's gonna give a sh*t.

There'll be so many people there,

security's just gonna let you in.

Do I look like a sucker-ass nigga?

Don't answer that.

Two friends got caught

with fake tickets last year.

Security did them in.

My first friend, broken leg.

He can't even walk right now.

Second friend, dead.

I don't know your friends.

They might have weak immune systems.

I gotta go.

- [Chester] Why?

- I think he's nervous

about that divisional manager guy

stopping by.

Check this out. Look. "Wuz really hood?

Two VIP tix, 3 hundo, far form the crowd."

- I think he meant "from."

- [Chester] Go pack, get your passport.

We'll fly standby if we have to,

but we leave today.

- But I don't have a ride. Sh*t.

- Cover my register!

[cell phone ringing]

Maloney's my name. Talk to me.

- [man] Yo, you called me about tickets?

- Yeah, yeah. You still got 'em?

Yeah, I got 'em.

Don't call me on that sexy voice sh*t.

Three hundred for both of 'em

and don't come here on some bullshit.

Where do you live?

Valley. 450 Vesper off Ventura.

Don't be late.

- I'll see you in an hour.

- Yeah. Hurry up.

I'm so sorry.

Our card machine's actually not working.

Do you have cash?

[groans] Sorry.

Those eyes got me. [Chuckles]

Thank you so much.

What are you doing?

Nothing. Yo, if Danny asks for me,

I'm going to get lunch.

It's not even 9:
30.

[Chris] Five,

six,

seven...

Eight hundred.

[sighs] What's up, baby?

What's up, baby? It's all good, brother.

It's all good, baby.

He's not Maloney. You're Maloney.

Be f***ing Maloney.

Is that your black Range Rover outside?

That's Jay's.

Cool.

I'm just wondering, 'cause,

like, I'm in the market for one, so...

Like, that or a Lambo.

Just something to fit my character.

Just... Just stop talking.

- [moaning on computer]

- [Jay] One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

[grunting]

- [woman] Jay!

- F*** you. [Grunts]

- Jay, get the f*** out here!

- Goddamn it.

- [door slams]

- Hey, yo, what the f*** did I say?

When that door's closed,

don't bother me, don't text me.

- Nothing.

- [scoffs]

Hey, yo, hand me that robe real quick.

Oh, yeah.

- Put that on, ma'am.

- Do I look f***ing cold to you?

[scoffs]

Whatever.

What the f*** you looking at?

Nothing.

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