Take the 10 Page #8

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Has that lame-ass line ever worked

on a girl?

Just trying to be a nice guy.

What are you talking about?

Do you still strip?

No. [Scoffs]

- Yeah.

- I'm a paralegalist now.

- Oh, that's good. Yeah. Yeah.

- Please.

[Sahara] Here we go.

- We'll just park the car.

- We'll meet you in line.

[Carmen] Okay. Save us a spot.

[Chester] Here. Oh, no, here. I got it.

Watch your head.

- Thank you.

- Of course.

- All right. Bye, guys.

- [Chester and Chris] Bye.

- Nice touch.

- Thank you.

- You know she's a stripper?

- Really?

Topless or all-nude?

- Uh... Full frontal, I think.

- Oh, great.

- Yeah.

- Where does she work?

Uh...

- Titties in Your... Titties in Your Face?

- Vermont and Washington?

- Yeah. You been?

- Yeah. It's a new location.

[indistinct chattering]

[Chester] So,

how do you know Sahara again?

I met her this morning.

When I got the tickets.

At the...?

You hit on the drug dealer's girlfriend,

stole his tickets,

- and his moonrocks?

- No.

Okay, good.

I stole the moonrocks and tickets,

and then I hit on her.

Oh, I forgot to tell you,

I sort of stole 800 bucks

- from your register.

- What?

How else could I get my car out

of the garage?

- Don't worry, I'll make your money back.

- You're always saying "don't worry."

I got moonrocks.

Uncut moonrocks. Want moonrocks?

- [man] Designer. FDA-approved.

- You a cop? Just kidding. Want drugs?

Actually, it's 175 for two.

You wanna do two?

Hundred for a gram. Moonrocks. Moonrocks.

We're at capacity.

They'll refund your tickets at the window.

Go home.

- It's over.

- [man 1] You kidding me?

- I've been waiting for hours, man.

- [man 2] Come on!

- You don't even know.

- [man 3] Hey, back up.

- Back away from the gate.

- [Chester] What's going on?

They're shutting it down.

Gotta find another way in.

- [man 4] I need backup!

- [man 5] Come on.

- [man 6] Let us in!

- [man 4] We're at capacity.

- [Chester] What?

- Come on.

[man 4] All tickets will be refunded

at the front desk.

Let's go.

[man 4] Back up. Back away, and stop...

[Chester] I got something I wanna tell

you. It's super important. Stay there.

[Chris] Yeah, what's up?

[both groaning]

- Ow.

- What the f***?

You stole $800 from my register

and didn't tell me?

I did it for us, so we could come here.

I'm the one who gets in trouble for it.

You ever think of that?

What else haven't you told me, huh?

- Come clean now.

- What do you want me to say?

The truth.

- For once. Come on.

- What do you want me to do?

Recap every lie I've ever told

- in our relationship?

- Please.

Do you want me

to give a f***ing Venn diagram

of all the mini-truths

and half-truths and somewhat-truths?

- Yeah.

- I don't know. I don't remember them all.

All right, let's start with Brazil.

- What about Brazil?

- Come on.

- Stop.

- Tell me.

- If you don't stop touching me...

- F***ing tell me.

- Don't f***ing touch me.

- Tell me about Brazil.

What do you wanna know?

Are you going or not?

I was never going.

I was never going, Chester. I'm sorry.

I just wanted to hear you say it.

[crowd cheering]

Can we just go?

Can we just go to the concert?

["100 Roses" playing]

Yeah, all right.

F*** it.

# 100 roses #

# For the dead #

# Heard they talking #

# Where they at? #

# 100 shots #

# For they head #

# They don't know me #

# They don't want it #

# I'm the man #

# Now you know it #

# I'm the man #

# I'm the coldest #

# Told my mama if I die

Then put them roses on my casket #

# If I burn in hell I hope

She smoking all my ashes #

# My city's in the race

Of whoever make it the fastest #

# I'm f***ing past it

Knocking niggas like I'm Cassius #

# I ain't around, I ain't around #

# Where you at? #

# I heard they talking down

They talking down #

# No they ain't #

# You know Jacuzzi got the heat

I'm always up to something #

# But they only talking down

'Cause they ain't up and coming #

# Niggas talk about they money

Boy, I never see it #

# Boy, I'm everywhere you're not

I swear I'm never see you #

# Said you popping in your city

Man, I don't believe it #

# But when I come and shut it down

I swear you gonna feel it #

# 100 roses #

# For the dead #

# Heard they talking #

# Where they at? #

# I'm the coldest #

# Mystery me, mystery me #

# Dreamed about this sh*t

And then I got it, mission complete #

# Everybody wanna be the hottest

Tryna be me #

# Laughing when they think

They really balling I'm taking the lead #

[Chris] This is the best concert ever.

I could just pitch a tent

and, like, set up camp here.

Live off the land.

This is my Burning Man.

I mean, did you see yourself out there?

Everybody was like,

"Who's that cool guy dancing the samba

to rap music,

and, like, being really honest?"

- Seriously?

- Yes.

You should do more drugs.

- Oh, my God. Give me more. Come on.

- No. Chill.

- Not now. I gotta sell the rest.

- Come on. I want some.

- I'll give you more in a half-hour.

- I want it now.

- I'll piss on you.

- I'll tickle you

- if you don't give it to me.

- Oh, sh*t.

How f***ing dumb are you, coming here?

I thought your ass was dead.

Who's that? Who's that?

You said you only had two tickets left.

- I assumed you told the truth.

- I'm a businessman. That's what I do.

Makes sense to me.

Basic supply-and-demand economics.

- Well, I trusted you.

- You stole my tickets.

Yeah. But as far as you knew, you know,

you lied before you knew

I stole your tickets.

So, technically, you know, you lied first.

You lied first.

- Try to mindfuck me?

- Try to mindfuck him?

No one mindfucks me. I mindfuck you.

I'll take your mind, stick my dick in it,

have my boys stick their d*cks in it,

run a train on your mind.

- You have d*cks on your mind.

- He doesn't know what he's saying.

- He's f***ing drunk.

- I'm not drunk. I'm high.

- Shut up.

- From the moonrocks, but not high.

I'm not drunk, I mean. [Laughs]

I am f***ed up.

[Chester chuckling]

You take my moonrocks?

I take your moonrocks? Yes.

Absolutely I did.

- And it was great.

- Jesus.

- Why'd you give him the backpack?

- Shut the f*** up.

Okay.

[gasps] Oh.

Where's the rest?

In the car.

- No, it's not. We wrecked the car.

- Yes, it is. Yes, they're in the car.

I swear. He doesn't know what he's saying.

Now, why? Why you gotta do that, man?

Shut up, Chester.

You are a beautiful,

glorious, majestic Asian dolphin,

and this society,

that's your Sea World, man.

I wanna set you free.

Come on, let's be friends.

Get the f*** off me

with that gay sh*t, coz.

Just, please, let us go

and I swear you'll never see us again.

- Don't worry. He's not gonna shoot us.

- That's your word?

I know the statistics.

Only 2 percent of people who get stuck up

in robberies actually get shot.

[gasping and screaming]

I don't get my stash

in the next 30 seconds,

the next one is going

through your friend's shoulder.

One last thing.

I just wanna know one last thing.

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