Taking Woodstock Page #4

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here, not just the alfalfa fields.

Now, wait a second.

I mean, I could...

I mean, I could buy a farm for the

kind of money you're asking for.

I could buy five farms.

From what I read in

the papers, Mr. Roberts,

you've already spent a

million dollars in Wallkill,

and you've only got until

the 15th until your festival.

Now, I'm sure a wealthy

young man such as yourself

could, indeed,

buy a lot of farms.

But that's neither here nor

there. All I'm saying is...

Yeah, all you're saying is that

you've got us over a barrel.

Well, if I didn't, you wouldn't

be on your second carton

of chocolate milk

now, would you?

But I tell you this, fellas, when

you make a deal with me, it's a deal.

Okay? So long as you promise

to put things back in order,

I'll stand by you 100/.

These people

are my neighbors,

and I know how

to deal with them.

I won't let them run you off

like they did in Wallkill,

'cause this is my land,

and let's just see them try.

Wow, Max, that is very

cool. And you're right.

We're going to

have a lot of people

come here and

enjoy your place.

Michael, if I may, I wouldn't

describe $75,000 as cool.

$5,000 is cool.

Hey, it's your bread, guys.

I'm just trying to put you

together here with Max's vision.

Right. Look, Max, if we were

willing to consider doing this,

you're really gonna have to

let us make it work.

Mike, listen, really, if this

doesn't shake out with Max...

I'm sure we're

gonna be fine.

John and Joel and Max, they're

all gonna come together.

I can feel it.

Good vibes.

He won't let them near it.

Smithson? Who's Smithson?

I don't own the property down

there. You don't own the property?

I own this

and I own that,

which reminds me, I'm sure you'll

be willing to put up a bond,

just in case there's damage.

I was thinking $75,000.

F***!

A $75,000 bond, too?

Can I ask you a question? Please.

Is Mike for real?

I mean, he's so relaxed.

Michael, yeah,

he's totally real,

so long as

the cash is real.

And the cash is real so long

as John and Joel are real.

And I guess John and Joel

are gonna stay real because,

between us, they've already

sold 100,000 tickets.

And who wants 100,000 freaks

coming after them for refunds?

So Mikey is trying

to sell those six acres.

It's got a lake?

Yeah.

Hey, Dave.

I'll have the usual.

Geez, sorry, Elliot. I

think we're out of the usual.

Out of the usual?

Wow, that's unusual.

For crying out loud, Elliot.

How could you?

Okay, then I'll try

the waffles.

"To ensure three days of peace

and music, we've left Wallkill

"and are now in

White Lake, New York.

"Certain people of Wallkill decided

to try to run us out of town.

"Our new site, it's twice the

size of our original site. "

You did this, Teichberg.

You know what those hippies

are gonna do to our town?

They'll be high on drugs.

Robbing us by day and

raping the cattle at night.

We ought to run you Jews

out of town. You and Yasgur.

We're gonna boycott Yasgur's

milk. Shut the hotel down, too.

Get out of here, you hippie.

You're disgusting, Elliot.

You know what, Elliot?

You're not the only...

Elliot! God bless you.

Hi, Annie.

You can't imagine

what happened this morning.

What? I'm fully booked! Every room!

Yeah, me, too.

For the first time

since Herb died.

Thank you, Elliot.

You're welcome.

Thank you, Elliot.

Hi.

Those motherfuckers in

there wanna f*** you up, huh?

That seems to be

the sense I'm getting.

Well, you're gonna have to carve

some f***ing hearts out, man.

Fry them on a stick

over a fire pit

and then sit down and eat

them, before those motherfuckers

do the aforesaid

f***ing to you, man!

Billy, can you just stop

with the motherfucking this

and motherfucking that.

Please?

F***.

Yeah. F***.

This could really

be a down trip.

My brother and his wife, they're

getting f***ing organized.

Then what should I do?

Get f***ing organized

yourself. Rally your troops.

Do I have troops?

F***, yeah.

You got your mom, don't you?

She's a f***ing battalion.

And the Chamber of Commerce. This

whole thing is about commerce, right?

Right on!

Right on.

I'm off to HQ.

At ease, men... Man.

Go fry those f***ers.

Elliot!

We were in Wallkill.

Hanging with some friends,

making the scene.

Rapping on each other. And

they said this is where it's at.

So we rode our thumbs

up here. Can you dig it?

Elli, help.

It's these two.

They want a hole.

To dig their thumbs.

After they hit each other,

they made a scene in Wallkill!

What are they

talking about?

Just looking to score,

you know, the magic tickets.

Dad, get the tickets.

To the festival.

Okay, Neil, we can see you

coming down the ladder now.

Heading back up

to that first step.

But it's adequate

to get back up.

Roger. We copy. Takes a

pretty good little jump.

Hey. Hi, Tisha. What is it?

You've got

a couple of visitors.

Hello? What can

I do for you?

Mr. Teichberg?

Yes.

Here. That's 47 citations. Wiring,

plumbing, health code violations.

Quite a place

you've got here.

It's humble, but it's home.

Away from home, I mean.

And here's 14 more fire code.

You're way over the occupancy limits.

You've got five days

to pay up and repair

or else we're shutting

you down for good.

Have a nice day.

What's going on?

Your mother says we

can triple our money.

Three times the rooms.

You're kidding me.

They don't seem to mind. Honest.

These people, they like it.

I'm finished here,

you start on the bunking.

I don't know. White Lake

sounds better than Wallkill.

Don't ask me why

they call it Woodstock.

Everyone's gonna drive

to the f***ing real Woodstock

and be really bummed

when they get there.

DOT's letting us put signage

up. Just not on the Thruway yet.

But we're working on it.

We're gonna want to run lines

all the way

back to the fence.

Can you trench here?

No, man. Everything,

water pipes, juice,

all the cables

gotta run aboveground.

I got the specs from

Hanley, for the speakers.

That's a lot of juice.

When Hendrix lights up, there won't

be a bird left in Sullivan County.

Hey, I spoke to Wavy Gravy

and the Hog Farmers.

Wavy?

Yeah.

His real name's Hugh. He's

got 80 freaks, the Hog Farmers.

They've got a commune

in the desert.

They drop more acid

than Timothy Leary.

There's 80 of them coming

in on a jumbo jet next week.

Hey, man, I can't find

the keys to my room.

Ask my mom.

Hey, how's your room?

Fine, man.

Trip tents? Yeah, where

the kids can come down...

From the trip. Wait, wait.

What have you got here?

No, no.

Don't put it down there.

He and his people are willing

to work with you on security.

You know, they really like your

non-confrontational approach.

You know, they wanna

call it a "Please Force. "

Not sure how Fabbri's

going to like that moniker.

We're still going

to need real police.

Hey, Mike,

do you have a second?

I'm just feeling

a little anxious.

Did Tisha tell you about

these code violations?

Hey, Elliot. Just the

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