Taking Woodstock Page #6

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Okay, I may be a grandfather,

but... You're a grandfather?

I married young, the night

before I shipped out for Korea.

You were in Korea? Semper

fi, you little prick.

Sergeant, U.S. Marine Corps.

No kidding.

Yeah.

Wow.

That's me with the cigar. The

other one was the love of my life.

Killed. Sniper.

I went out on patrol, found

the Chinese pissant who did it,

and broke his neck with

my own hands. Jesus.

Actually, I made

that last part up.

But I would have if I'd gotten

a hold of the son of a b*tch,

and I'd do it today

if I found him.

Vilma, you're hired.

Thank you.

Welcome aboard.

You won't regret it.

Do you need some kind of

uniform? I've got uniforms, baby.

Wow.

Hey, Elliot.

She's a beautiful ride.

Great way to

commute to Max's.

That's a nice suit. It's

for the press. Conference.

Sure.

You okay?

A little nervous.

Got just the thing.

You know, actually, I'm

feeling a little nauseous.

Hey, grass is a perfect

cure for nausea.

Really?

Seriously.

Well...

Yeah.

It's good sh*t.

Very good sh*t.

...and in these next few days

before the concert,

we'll also provide

daily briefings

and we're all here to

provide any follow up.

But without further delay,

here is Mr. Elliot Tiber,

the proprietor of

the El Monaco,

President of the Bethel

Chamber of Commerce,

and a community liaison for

Woodstock Ventures. Mr. Tiber.

Good afternoon, ladies

and gentlemen of the press.

Do you have a legal permit

for the concert in White Lake?

There will be a music and arts festival

held here on August 15th, 16th, and 17th,

part of my ongoing yearly

music and arts festivals

that have made White Lake the truly

international cultural center that it is.

As evidenced by the fact that

you wonderful ladies and gentlemen

of the press are

here to report on it.

I have been proud to be the

artistic director of the festival

in its prior incarnations,

and I hope that...

Yes, but do you have a

legal permit for the concert?

Of course.

Need I remind you,

I am the President.

I am the President of the

Bethel Chamber of Commerce.

Would a leading civic leader

such as myself break his own laws?

That doesn't make sense.

Do you realize that the

police are now estimating

that perhaps as many as 100,000

people will attend the concert?

What will your people here in

White Lake think of 100,000 hippies

and what they

will do to the town?

My people?

You say my people.

Native White Lakians

cannot be considered people,

you know,

mine or anyone else's.

Can you tell us something

about these free programs

for the local community

happening this week?

Will there be a cap on

the number of tickets sold,

and how will you deal with

people showing up without tickets?

You are asking

about freedom.

The very essence

of the enterprise,

of all enterprise,

especially free enterprise.

And freedom

could be considered,

and is often considered, you know, to

be just another word for being free.

Therefore, there will be no train to

freedom. Train has already left the station.

How can the music be free when the

people of White Lake are enchained?

Huh?

If one song is not free,

then all songs are not free.

That is why we are going to

free all the songs in White Lake.

Any idea what the hell

is going on here?

Wow, Elliot.

You stood strong up there.

That freedom rap, yeah.

That was heavy.

Thanks, Mike. You smell good.

Like an apple fritter.

Far out.

What's happening?

Didn't you hear?

It's free, man.

Come on.

The concert's free.

Come on, let's go.

Stop. Here.

That's it.

That's it.

Come on. Let's go. Let's

go. Come on, let's go.

Dad!

Let's go.

Come on.

We've got an artist here.

He's been out here two

hours already. Won't budge.

All right, come on.

Come here. Just wait.

All right. Hold it!

Your dad says

you're a painter.

When did he say that?

I had him give me a tour of the property,

you know, getting a lay of the land.

He talked a lot about you,

about Brooklyn.

He showed me some of his favorite

places, the oaks down by the lake.

Nice.

Wait.

Are you sure that was my dad?

Maybe it was somebody else's?

I mean, he doesn't have any

favorite places here, he hates it.

He doesn't talk.

I didn't say it was therapy or

anything, you know. It was just chatting.

Chatting?

His mind must be going.

Don't worry, Elliot.

I'll keep an eye on him.

If he starts to laugh or smile

or anything suspicious like that,

I'll let you know.

Yeah. You do that.

In fact, I have to go collect

his bat, we've got dawn patrol.

Vilma?

Does my dad know,

you know, what you are?

Elliot.

I know what I am.

That does make it easier for

everyone else, doesn't it?

After the concert, we've got

tables set up near the barn.

I understand your mother

is preparing her specialty.

Cholent? Oh, no.

And the Ladies Auxiliary

has made dessert.

We just have to make sure

somebody rations them.

There's a lot of hungry

kids out there.

Don, I just want to say,

I have a feeling.

Feelings?

Feelings are good.

Get over to the south field,

find what-is-his-name,

and round up all those...

They don't really know where

to put all the sunflower seeds.

How many sunflower seeds

did they buy?

How many sunflower seeds can you get into

the back of a triple-axle trailer truck?

I'm not sure. I'm sorry. We

actually have another meeting...

Everybody's working

hard for...

Yes. Very hard.

Hey, John.

That's him.

That's the prick who told

everyone that the concert's free.

F*** the alfalfa...

Considering that we haven't

managed to build a ticket booth yet,

can't really

argue with him.

It's incredible. Knocking down

the walls, and all kinds of stuff.

Well, we gotta make

some space in here, but...

Doris? Doris,

he doesn't... Doris?

He doesn't even know

what a purchase order is.

I'm trying to help organize

moving everybody

from here in the horseshoe

up to the site.

Trucks, trailers,

everything, gotta go.

Gonna miss this place.

Yeah, well,

we'll keep some rooms here.

The one concern is the big

towers for the speakers.

They're not staying up?

No, they're good. Solid.

It's just that if there's rain,

lightning, well, might get a little...

A little what?

Electrical.

We're working on it.

Yeah, we don't wanna

fry too much of the audience.

Yeah, that's a good point,

Joel. Thank you, John.

Hey. It's August.

It's not gonna rain.

Remember, okay?

Rice, bananas,

anything that's gonna

keep them from shitting.

Because I'm worried

about our toilet numbers.

Now we're together nearly

every single day, singin'

Do wah diddy diddy

dum diddy do

We're so happy and that's

how we're gonna stay, singin'

Do wah diddy diddy

dum diddy do

No, no one stole the car, I just

gotta keep it for a few days.

Sure, it's legal.

Everything is fine, Mom. Don't worry.

I've met so many beautiful people here.

Whoa-oh

Do wah diddy diddy

dum diddy do

Thank you.

Hairy Pretzel, thank you.

It's so great that you have

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