Tales of Manhattan Page #2

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THEN WE'LL GET MARRIED.

MARRIED?

YOU?

YES, ME.

I NEED YOU.

I REALIZED THAT TODAY.

I NEED YOU, AND

I'VE GOT TO PAY FOR YOU.

YOU FRIGHTEN ME.

BUT YOU...

YOU LOVE ME ENOUGH?

OH, YES, DARLING.

I'LL CALL YOU

IN THE MORNING,

RIGHT AFTER:

HE LEAVES.

BUT...

IF YOU LOVE ME SO MUCH,

WHY WERE YOU SO FRIGHTENED

IN THE HOUSE?

HE'S VERY CURIOUS

WHEN HE'S DRINKING.

I DIDN'T WANT ANYTHING

TO HAPPEN TO YOU.

WHY?

I COULDN' STAND THAT.

I COULDN'T LIVE

WITHOUT YOU.

I COULDN'T-

MURRAY HILL 7564,

PLEASE.

WHO ARE YOU CALLING?

MR. WEBB. MY MANAGER.

WHY HIM NOW?

GOT SOME NEWS FOR HIM.

HE'S WAITING

AT MY APARTMENT.

WHAT NEWS, PAUL?

KISS ME.

I ADORE YOU.

MADLY.

STUPIDLY.

BLINDLY-

HELLO, OLIVER?

YES, IT'S ME.

PAY ATTENTION, PLEASE,

AND NO ARGUMENTS.

I WANT YOU:

TO CLOSE THE PLAY.

I SAID CLOSE THE PLAY.

I'M LEAVING TOMORROW

FOR SIX MONTHS.

PAUL, CLOSE A HIT?

DARLING, YOU'RE WORTH

A THOUSAND HITS.

I HOPE.

OLIVER?

NO. NO.

I'M IN MY RIGHT MIND.

IN FACT, FOR THE FIRS TIME SINCE I WAS BORN.

DO WHAT I TELL YOU!

IT'S MY SHOW, MY MONEY,

MY THEATER!

ALL RIGHT.

PAY EVERYBODY OFF!

AND GET ME TWO TICKETS

TO RIO.

ON THE CLIPPER.

FOR TOMORROW.

THAT'S RIGHT.

I'M A LITTLE AMAZED

AT MYSELF.

DID I SOUND VERY NAIVE?

NO.

THAT'S HOW IT GOES.

ALWAYS ACTING UNTIL YOU FIND

SOMETHING YOU CAN BELIEVE IN.

Put out the light.

THE PARTY'S

BECOMING A BORE.

TOO MANY DRUNKS.

I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU.

WE WERE TALKING OVER

PAUL'S NEW PLAY.

IT WAS SO NOISY:

IN THERE.

YES, SO I IMAGINE.

I WONDERED IF YOU HAD

CHANGED YOUR MIND.

ABOUT WHAT?

CANADA.

COMING WITH ME?

NO.

I'M AFRAID NOT.

I DON'T SEE

HOW YOU COULD RESIS THE BEST SHOOTING

IN THE WORLD...

IF YOU'RE LOOKING

FOR MOOSE.

HAVE YOU:

EVER HUNTED MOOSE...

MR. ORMAN?

NO, I HAVEN'T.

MAYBE...

YOU'D LIKE

TO COME WITH ME.

JOHN, YOU'RE DRUNK. PLEASE.

DON'T EXAGGERATE.

I NEVER GET DRUNK.

I GET INVOLVED,

BUT NOT DRUNK.

I'LL LET YOU USE MY

FAVORITE GUN, MR. ORMAN.

LET ME SHOW YOU:

MY COLLECTION.

ONE OF THE BEST,

YOU KNOW.

HERE IT IS.

TOOK ME YEARS:

TO GATHER THIS.

AND HERE...

HERE...

IS MY FAVORITE.

NEVER FAILED ME.

HERE HE IS.

COLONEL JOHNSON.

COLONEL,

HOW ARE YOU?

OH.

BUT I...

I WAS JUST GOING.

NONSENSE. ALWAYS WANTED TO TALK TO YOU.

DON'T MIND IF I SPRUCE

UP THE COLONEL, DO YOU?

PLEASE DON'T POINT THAT.

DON'T WORRY. THE COLONEL'S NOT LOADED.

I MAY BE A TRIFLE,

BUT NOT THE COLONEL.

THREE YEARS AGO,

I GOT AN ELK.

THERE HE IS.

LAST YEAR, I SHO OVER THREE MOOSE.

THE COLONEL WAS ONLY

A CAPTAIN THEN.

I PROMOTED HIM:

AFTER THE THIRD MOOSE.

WHAT DID YOU WAN TO TALK ABOUT?

A LOT OF THINGS.

BUT WE'LL BEGIN

WITH GUNS.

THEY'RE MY HOBBY.

I DON'T THINK PAUL

IS INTERESTED IN GUNS.

GUNS HAVE:

A CERTAIN INTEREST...

IN THE HANDS OF EXPERTS.

EXACTLY.

A MAN:

WOULD BE A NITWI NOT TO BE INTERESTED

IN THIS WEAPON.

A BLIND MAN:

COULD HIT A DUCK'S EYE

AT 100 PACES WITH

THE COLONEL.

HA HA.

GOOD OLD COLONEL.

YOU REMEMBER THAT FELLOW UP THERE?

ETHEL, WHERE DID I

PUT THAT OIL CAN?

WE'VE GOT TO GET BACK

TO THE HOUSE.

THEY'LL BE MISSING US.

NOT A CHANCE. THEY'RE

HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME.

WHAT DID YOU WAN TO SAY ABOUT GUNS?

EVER USE 'EM?

YES. ON THE STAGE.

SHOOT 'EM?

ON A STAGE.

NOT REAL BULLETS.

NO.

JUST BLANKS, EH?

YES.

ONLY BLANKS.

WE ACTORS:

PREFER THEM.

THIS IS SILLY, JOHN.

PAUL'S GIVEN

AN OPENING PERFORMANCE,

AND HE'S

PROBABLY EXHAUSTED.

DARLING, YOU HAVEN' DANCED WITH ME THIS EVENING.

COME ON, WON'T YOU?

I NOTICED THAT.

IT'S TOO LATE NOW.

WILL YOU STOP PUTTERING

WITH THAT GUN?

I'M GETTING VERY ANGRY!

WHY DON'T YOU GO,

ETHEL?

PERHAPS YOUR HUSBAND WOULD

PREFER TALKING TO ME ALONE.

I HAVE NO SECRETS

FROM MY WIFE.

SHE MAY HAVE FROM ME.

THERE'S ALWAYS

HALF OF WOMEN MISSING.

BUT WITH MEN, THEY'RE

USUALLY IN ONE PIECE,

FULL OF TRUTH:

AND HONOR.

YES. THOSE THINGS

COME WITH AGE.

THANK YOU.

WELL PUT.

I SUPPOSE AN ACTOR

CAN GET ALONG:

WITHOUT MUCH TRUTH

AND HONOR.

OH, YES. AN ACTOR CAN GE ALONG WITHOUT ANYTHING...

EXCEPT A GOOD PLAY.

SORRY I MISSED YOUR SHOW.

I UNDERSTAND:

YOU GET KILLED IN IT.

YES... AT THE END

OF THE LAST ACT.

COULDN'T MAKE UP

THEIR MINDS, EH?

NO, IT ISN'T THAT.

THEY COULD NOT AFFORD

TO KILL ME EARLIER.

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BAD

FOR THE PLAY.

I SEE.

I UNDERSTAND:

A WOMAN SHOOTS YOU.

YES.

THE WOMAN I LOVE.

SOUNDS:

VERY DRAMATIC.

JOHN...

I DON'T WAN ANY INTERRUPTIONS.

HOW DO YOU ACT WHEN SHE

POINTS THE GUN AT YOU?

AFRAID?

NO.

A LITTLE SAD,

BUT RESIGNED.

I'M DRINKING A HIGHBALL.

HAVE ONE.

NO. THANKS.

I CAN'T BEAR

TO SEE YOU DRUNK LIKE THIS.

I'M NOT BORING YOU,

MR. ORMAN?

NO. NOT AT ALL.

YOU STAND:

RIGHT UP TO HER:

AND DON' ACT AFRAID, EH?

WHY IS THAT? DON'T SOUND REAL TO ME.

WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU

SUGGEST I DO?

A FELLOW ALWAYS ACTS AFRAID

WHEN HE'S FACING A GUN.

OH, BUT AN ACTOR WITHOU COURAGE WOULD BE A FRAUD.

THE AUDIENCE:

ALWAYS LIKES COURAGE.

SO YOU THINK OF YOUR

AUDIENCE WHEN YOU'RE ACTING?

ALWAYS.

I COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND

ETHEL.

I COULD NEVER FIGURE OU WHETHER SHE MEANT SOMETHING

OR WAS JUST ACTING IT.

KEPT ME GUESSING FOR A YEAR.

MARRIAGE IS NO FUN

WHEN IT TURNS INTO

A GUESSING CONTEST.

ALL RIGHT.

THERE YOU ARE,

COLONEL.

ALL SPRUCED UP:

NEAT AND CLEAN:

AND READY:

TO GO HUNTING.

JOHN!

YOU TOOK...

YOU TOOK QUITE A LONG TIME

ABOUT IT, MR. HALLOWAY.

I WAS GETTING:

VERY NERVOUS.

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

WAS IT?

YOU SAW IT, ETHEL.

I WAS CLEANING THE

GUN. IT WENT OFF.

I DIDN'T THINK

IT WAS LOADED.

YOU'VE KILLED HIM.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

THEY'LL COME HERE.

THE POLICE.

THEY'LL TAKE YOU AWAY.

OH, JOHN,

WHY DID YOU DO IT?

THIS'LL RUIN YOU.

BOTH OF US.

WHY DID YOU DO IT?

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

I WAS CLEANING MY GUN.

YOU SAW IT.

OH, YES.

YES, OF COURSE.

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

YOU CAN TELL THE POLICE...

THAT IT WAS...

UNINTENTIONAL.

THAT YOUR HUSBAND AND I

WERE THE BEST OF FRIENDS.

YES, OF COURSE.

I'LL TELL THEM THAT.

I'LL SAY THAT.

JOHN, CALL A DOCTOR,

PLEASE.

NO.

IT'S TOO LATE

FOR A DOCTOR.

THE CURTAIN:

IS COMING DOWN.

IT'S THE END OF ACT III.

HE SUDDENLY-

NO, NO.

WE'LL CALL A DOCTOR.

OH, DARLING,

I DIDN'T KNOW.

I'VE BEEN STUPID

AND HORRIBLE.

I MADE YOU DO THIS.

HE DID NOTHING.

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

IT MIGHT HAPPEN...

TO ANYONE.

I'LL CALL THE SERVANTS.

YOU'LL BE

MY WITNESS?

YES.

TO THE END.

GOOD GIRL.

ALL RIGHT.

I'LL CALL THEM.

HA HA HA HA.

DON'T BOTHER.

I'M ALL RIGHT.

WELL, YOU'RE

- YOU'RE NOT HURT. THANK HEAVEN.

HOW DID I DO,

MR. HALLOWAY?

LIKE WHAT?

MY PERFORMANCE.

COULDN'T RESIST IT. HA HA.

DEATH SCENES HAVE BEEN MY

SPECIALTY SINCE I BECAME FAMOUS.

SO WHEN ANYBODY:

SHOOTS ME, I FALL DEAD.

YOU WERE ACTING?

UH-HUH. OH, IT'S

AN OFF NIGHT FOR A COLONEL.

HE IS NOT A WIZARD.

MISSED ME BY A MILE.

I HOPE YOU HAVE BETTER LUCK

IN CANADA, MR. HALLOWAY.

OH, NOW, DON' FEEL SO DEPRESSED.

YOU KNOW, I WOULDN' LOOK TOO GOOD UP THERE

ON A PLAQUE.

YOU WERE ACTING?

YES. YOUR HUSBAND

PUT IT INTO MY HEAD,

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