Tales of the Riverbank Page #3

and Fluffy healer.

Bit too touchy-feely

for my taste.

You mean a beautiful girl like you

knows how to kiss and make it better?

Good grief, man,

leave her alone.

You're like a rat

up a drainpipe.

Yeah.

Whoa!

- There it is.

- How do we get to it?

Oh, what's this?

Um, looks very much like, um...

- A chair.

- With wheels?

Yes. A wheelchair.

Ooh, that sounds fun.

Oh, and what's that?

Now, that's a...

A chair with wheels and, um...

And things that stick out.

It's an airplane.

Some people call it that, yes.

What do these do?

Don't touch them, dear. You

don't know where they've been.

There is a chair there, yes.

Typical. Not so much

as a good-bye,

or thank you for saving me.

Oh. Is that what

this is for? Oh.

Ho-ho, look! No paws!

It's not really as difficult

as those birds make out.

What does this do?

There's hammy and roderick.

- Hello, lads.

- It's g.P.

- So it is.

- Hello. Hello, g.P.

It's me, hammy.

Is that an airplane?

Either that, or g.P.'S

a very unusual Guinea pig.

I don't know why I bother.

Do you think we'll ever

see g.P. Again?

You can put

your last worms on it.

We'd better get the boat

before he gets back.

Talk of the devil,

checkin' up what we're doin'.

Hey, g.P. G.P., over here.

- Are you sure that's g.P.?

- Of course.

Oh, a falcon!

Run!

Hammy!

Ooh, it's very high.

Ooh, you're hurting me.

Let hammy go, you bully!

You hook-beaked buffoon!

Now I'm pretty certain

that this was the first time

this particular falcon

had ever encountered

an airplane flown by an angry,

slightly overweight Guinea pig.

The shock was so great,

he dropped hammy,

and flew away in a panic,

convinced he was seeing things.

Ah, ferrets! Ooh! Oh, oh!

Otters! Ow, ow!

Are you all right, hammy?

Yes, yes. I think so.

Bit winded.

He put the whole thing

down to the after-effects

of eating

a brightly colored frog

a few hours before,

which we've all done.

Whatever's that?

W-m-d.

Oh, that's no good.

Oh, I can't see how

we can get to it, roderick.

Yeah, it's not just

g.P. Who has ideas, hammy.

Is that a catapult?

Where am I?

They'll never find me.

Oh, dear. What's that noise?

And that one.

Who's that staring at me?

Come out of there,

whoever you are.

If you don't come out,

I'll stay here.

Help!

Help!!

They're after me,

whoever they are.

I have to get away

as fast as I can.

Ah, yes.

I don't seem to have

got away at all.

Good grief. This forest

is full of crashed airplanes.

- Hammy:
Do you think this is going to work?

- Of course.

We just run backwards

as fast as we can,

and then, lift our legs. Easy.

Okay. You just keep thinking, roderick.

That's what you're good at.

Now I have to warn you.

Please do not try this at home.

Hamsters and rats

are not, by nature,

flying animals.

These two happen to be

especially stupid,

and deserve to get

badly hurt for trying

such a silly stunt.

Somehow, more by luck

than judgment,

they got away with it.

Many haven't.

I'm going to wake up

as someone's breakfast,

if I wake up at all.

What if they can't

wait for breakfast?

I... I could be supper.

A midnight feast.

Just a snack between meals.

Hold on. That sounds like...

Hammy:
With little seeds and a

little wheel you can run around...

Hammy!

That plant looks like g.P.

It is g.P.

There I was,

flying through the air

without a care in the world...

- there's a coincidence. So were we.

- What are you talking about?

Take no notice.

So what about the smoke then?

Well, the black smoke was

coming from the w.M.D. Factory.

Woobily... Mmmm...

Waffle, marmalade and doughnut.

It was deadly.

I couldn't breathe.

If you ask me,

that w.M.D. Is up to no good.

No good at all.

Poison of some kind.

I think I shall go there

and give them

a piece of my mind.

Can you afford

to lose any, g.P.?

- What?

- Nothing.

What was that noise?

Hammy:
Oh. Oh,

I don't like this.

W.M.D., you see?

Wmd-ah...

What's a wall doing in a river?

It's not a wall, it's a dam.

It's a damn what?

Oh. You didn't realize

you'd made a joke.

A dam. It's a name for

a wall in a river.

We can't sail through a wall.

Oh, no.

- A pike.

- What's so bad about a pike?

It hates all creatures

great and small,

and it eats most of them.

- Not a Guinea pig, surely.

- Often dish of the day.

What can we do?

Well, we could start by

not falling in the water.

Sound advice.

Hammy!

- Hammy!

- Hamster overboard!

Hammy!

Are you all right?

Yes, I think so.

Can hamsters swim?

I have no idea.

My parents never

told me anything.

Oh, no. He's going to be eaten!

- Quick, hammy! Fast as you can.

- Hurry up, lad.

Why? Is there

something behind me.

- I wouldn't like?

- Yes.

Ah, right.

Oh, ferrets.

Where has he gone?

Where is he?

Bizarre.

Hello there.

Your friend looked like he could

do with a bit of a leg up.

Thanks very much, Mr. Pike.

Ah, don't mention it.

The name's Lucius.

Fish superhero.

- So you don't want to eat us?

- Eat you?

No, no, no.

So many animals to rescue,

so little time.

If it wasn't underwater,

I'd wear a cape.

Is it a plane, is it a fish?

- Yes.

- Yes!

It's super-pike!

We're trying to get back to

where we came from, upriver.

And now, the dam's in the way.

I have a bone to pick

with that w.M.D. Mob.

More than one bone;

A whole skeleton.

You mean those fat cats

that run the place?

Everything's gone to pot since

they took over the factory.

Really?

One big dud after another.

And they've kidnapped that girl

singer and the terrible comedian.

- We've got to rescue her.

- You sure?

I mean, she seems the sort who'd be

perfectly capable of escaping by herself.

Leave it out, g.P.

Sonia needs our help.

- Let's go.

- Oh, all right then.

If we must.

Well, you can't

get through the dam,

so I'm afraid you're

not going anywhere,

unless you can get over

that Mountain.

- What Mountain?

- That Mountain.

I'm going through

a small hole I found.

See ya on the other side...

If you get

that boat over there.

How can we...

- Hammy:
Miss much!

- Betty had a vision.

She saw you coming.

Think it was in a weasel's fur.

Insisted I pick you up,

against my better judgment,

- I might add.

- Great.

The poor girl has this mad idea

that you're going to sail

your boat upstream

to clean up some big dirt

or something.

Dread to think

what she was talking about.

Not sure there's enough

room in here for everyone.

It's good of you to volunteer

to walk, miss much,

but I won't hear it.

We'll fit you in somehow.

I meant no such...

That's outrageous!

Roderick:
There's the Mountain.

The closer we get,

the bigger it seems.

How are we gonna get

our boat over that?

I've absolutely no idea.

Where's that racket

coming from?

I'm afraid Betty's done

something rather stupid.

The circus! Ha ha!

I can't believe it!

The circus! Whoo hoo!

Look at that.

Roderick, can you see?

It's a real circus! A circus!

Wow. I always dreamt

of running away to the circus.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes