Talk Radio

There's a tornado watch|for a portion of West Texas.

Brian Chadwick is with the county|sheriff's office in Sweetwater.

We're trying to get the word out to|the community to brace themselves.

We hope this thing's not gonna|develop into a real funnel...

but after Saragosa, we're|not taking any chances.

The National Weather Service says|the storm is moving northeast...

and with the exception of some rain, it|shouldn't affect the Dallas-Fort Worth area.

That's news, sports and weather. I'm|Frank Castle for KGAB talk radio news.

From the heart of|the Lone Star state,

it's time for Dallas'|most popular talk show,

Night Talk|with Barry Champlaign.

# Bad to the bone #

The KGAB phone lines are open|and ready for your call...

at 555-TALK.

And now your host for Night|Talk, Barry Champlaign.

- The worst news|of the night is that...

three of four people say they'd rather|watch TV than have sex with their spouse.

The second worst news is that some|kids needed money for crack last night,

so they stuck a knife in the throat|of an 80-year-old grandmother...

down on Euclid Avenue|right here in Dallas.

One night|in one American city.

Multiply that by hundreds of|cities and what have you got?

A country where culture means|pornography and slasher films,;

where ethics means payoffs,|graft, insider trading,;

where integrity means Iying,|whoring and intoxication.

This country is|in deep trouble, people.

This country is rotten to the core and|somebody better do something about it.

Take your hand out of that bowl of|Fritos, throw away your National Enquirer,

and pick up the phone,|hold it up to your face...

and dial 555-TALK.

Open your mouth and tell me what we're|gonna do about the mess this country's in.

Talk radio- it's the last|neighborhood in town.

People don't talk|to each other anymore.

Let's go to|the first caller.

A lot of problems with the|country today have a lot do...

- with the continued exploitation|of the third world countries.

Wait. Third world countries? Where'd|you learn that phrase, in college?

Do you know what it means?|You're getting off the track.

We're not getting off the track,|we're getting on.

Josh, go back to college. When|you graduate, give me a call.

A prime example of that|uniquely American institution;

the concerned|bleeding-heart liberal...

looking for people with|problems he can call his own.

Francine in Oakline.|I'm a transvestite.

I'm trying to save money|for an operation...

What interest do you think your adventures|in surgery hold for my listeners?

It's something I have to talk|about. I don't. Night Talk.

Let me put you on hold. You slip|some testosterone into Barry's coffee?

The guy's possessed tonight.|He's a little tense.

Get outta here!

Sometimes I come home from work and|we have dinner together, you know?

No, I don't know. You have|dinner at the table with your cat?

With a tablecloth and|candles? No, Barry.

Just her own plate on the floor. Good.

But we eat the same things. Like if I|have a pork chop, she has a pork chop.

If I have a veal,|she has a veal.

Glenn, take my advice.

Stop hangin' around with|the p*ssy. Go find some.

I'm listening, Michael.|What's up?

Yeah, I heard your little|advertisement there for the pizza place.

Yeah, Jericho's Pizza. I love|that pizza. Don't you like it?

You sound like you'd love|it. I enjoy Jericho's Pizza.

What I wanted to say to you|tonight, Mr. Champlaign, was...

I have an interest in this place,|or at least, some friends of mine...

Just use one-syllables, Billy,|if it's difficult. Oh, Michael.

Hey, smart guy.|Just use one-syllable...

Smart guy?|We're being- Smart guy.

We got somebody with|a little lip on us tonight.

Hey.|Don't call me "Hey."

This is not a conversation. This|is a monologue. I talk, you listen.

Understand me?|Oh, yeah, we're listening.

Yes? Go ahead.

I don't want you makin' any more|comments about the pizza joint.

Do you have relatives that run the|place? People gotta make money on this.

Uncle Vinnie or someone?|There are people...

You know what, Michael?|You're a meatball.

- Debbie in Highland Park.|- My name is Debbie.

Hello, Debbie.|How old are you?

I'm 23.|Uh-huh.

What do you do?|I don't do anything.

When was the last time|you did something?

I don't know.|About a month ago.

What'd you do a month ago?|I went swimmin'!

Mm-hmm.|What do you do for money?

I got my brother.|I haven't made any.

Debbie, you're a leech.

Don't you think it's time you got|off your duff, started making money?

Well, not really.|I got everything I want.

But, Debbie, what do you need? Well...

What are you missing that|you need? A guy. A boyfriend.

A guy? What do you have|to offer a guy?

Well...

I have nice,|shiny long hair...

A guy could buy|himself a wig.

You can tell I don't have a wig.|It never falls off.

You're terrific, darling.|But seriously, Debbie.

Aren't you shooting for anything more|in life than looking for a free meal?

Not really.

You wanna lie around till you|find somebody to take care of you.

Yeah.|You're dynamic, darling.

Rhonda from Garland on the line.|Rhonda, you're on Night Talk.

Barry, I want to|express my views...

What are you doing, Steve?|Looking at this Dietz guy.

...up in New York City, givin'|out needles to drug addicts.

They have to do it to stop|AIDS. Clean needles help.

It's immoral for the|government of this country...

tax dollars to be|goin' to addicts.

But it's all right for our tax|dollars, four billion of them,

to go into a system|that's a complete joke.

More drugs than ever|are coming into this country.

Our courts, our jails|are clogged with cases.

The other night up in New York City,|crack dealers killed another cop.

Any kid who wants a hit|can get one. That's right.

When are we gonna|wake up, Rhonda?

When are we going to admit that drug|prohibition is not working in this country?

I think-|Know what I think?

I think we should legalize all|drugs, as sinister as that sounds.

That's the dumbest thing|I ever heard. Is it?

A junkie could go to a|drugstore, More stuff, Laura.

sign his name,|get the stuff for a buck...

then he doesn't have to rob or|kill for his habit. Thanks, Ellen.

You cannot let children|have drugs.

Why not? They're gonna|get it anyway. Why not?

In America today we're talking about|shooting up in the eighth grade.

We have a moral obligation|to the children.

Know what the most|dangerous drug is?

It's heroin.|No, it's legal.

It's tobacco.|It kills 350, 000 people a year.

You know how much coke, crack,|heroin, pot kill every year?

Four thousand people. Will you|listen to sense? Hello? Let me check.

Will you listen to logic,|please?

The only people who benefit|from prohibition...

are the gangsters|makin' the money on it,

the politicians condemning|it and gettin' your vote.

And who foots the bill?|You, Rhonda Q Sucker!

I beg your pardon!|It would end tomorrow.

The $200 billion drug problem in this|country could disappear overnight.

Legalize the damn stuff. Do it|today, right after this message.

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