Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby Page #13

A little planning can go a long way.

Listen, leaving

your big old corpse behind...

...for your loved ones to deaI with

ain't cool.

That's why you should call

McCreedy FuneraI Service.

McCreedy's.

They'll find the hole and build the box.

Bodies that look so good,

you're gonna wanna talk to it.

We like to have a lot of laughs

on the racetrack...

...but today we wanna talk

about something serious:

Packs of stray dogs that control

most of the major cities.

That's packs of wild, vicious dogs

that are controlling most of....

Sorry.

I like to picture Jesus

like a mischievous badger.

Like a muscular trapeze artist.

Like a shapeshifter or a changeling,

like that guy.

You ever hear of

that TV show Manimal?

I like to think of Jesus

as a figure skater...

...who wears, like, a white outfit...

...and he does interpretive ice dances

of my life's journey.

Like a dirty old bum.

He comes up to me, I'm about to sock

him one because he's a dirty old bum.

Then I said, ''Wait a minute,

I better not sock this guy.

Something speciaI about him.''

-Yeah, and it turns out it's Jesus.

-Yeah.

One, two.... Oh, God.

-Not again! No go. No go!

-It's stuck. It's stuck.

We got two knives in my leg.

I know, but one is a safety knife.

One is a safety.

It's coming out.

It's coming out.

I'm choking on my own spit.

lt hurts so bad

I'm choking on my own spit.

Good night, guys.

I'm losing a lot of blood.

-Just relax, man.

-Good night.

Ricky! Wake--

Sometimes, when it's late at night,

I dress up like Donna Summers.

You know, I put on the skirt

and the four-inch heels, man.

I love it.

Sorry. Sorry.

I would be honored if you would

let me sign your cast.

And I would be honored

if you'd sign my balls.

-Oh, baby, that is a good one.

-Hey, what are you doing?

''Don't touch a one of them.

They're mine.''

So, what do you think

that story was about?

Doesn't the bear symbolize

the old South...

...and the new dog, the encroaching

industrialization of the North?

Duh. But the question is, should

the reader feel relief or sadness...

...at the passing of the old South?

Well, how about both?

Oh, I get it. Moral ambiguity.

The hallmark of all early

-Great analysis, Walker.

-Thank you.

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